What you wish for
by ozzysgirl
Summary: You should always be careful what you wish for.
1. Chapter 1

This will be yet another story focusing on Tig and Happy, I just love those characters. Sorry folks I will never like Jax. (too pretty.) or Juice (too young.) Or Chibs (Too Scottish) I'm joking about Chibs, I'm married to a Scot. So any SOA fic will most likely be always be a Happy/Tig combo.

This fic takes place sometime before season one.

I don't own Sons of Anarchy

BORING

Today was Nikki's birthday, she was thirty one years old. Not a particularly significant one. Still it would've been nice to be out partying with friends, or maybe spending a little "me time" with a bubble bath and candles. Instead here she was, mopping the floor of an empty diner at the end of a nine hour shift. She sighed, maybe her mother was right. She'd never stuck at anything and as a result here she was, on her birthday, working the shitty shift in a shitty diner on the edge of a shitty town.

There had been a time, when she was in her teens, that she'd believed that her life was an endless stream of possibilities. As she walked on to that university campus on her first day, she really thought that three years later, armed with her English Lit degree, she would take the world by storm. At thirty one she should have at least one best seller under her belt. Even when she quit less than a year later, after coming to the realization that Shakespeare was never going to do it for her and that Thomas Hardy was a dick, she still felt optimistic about the future. She may have chosen the wrong course, but she had fallen in love.

Sam was a wonderful man. Yes he was a little bit older than her, and yes some would say he was a little set in his ways, but he was offering her the chance of a good life. Just because she was married didn't mean she couldn't pursue a career or even continue with her education and as she walked up the aisle on her father's arm, she knew this time she was making the right choice.

Her divorce five years later was a disappointment, she had hoped for a long and successful marriage like her parents. However the differences between them became too great to ignore. He had wanted a family, kids, the whole suburban dream, while Nikki still hankered after excitement. So with the minimum of fuss they had gone their separate ways. He had quickly settled down with the divorcee from down the street and she, with passport in hand, had set out to explore the world.

The world was indeed was an exciting place, Nikki worked in vineyards in France, in restaurants in England and the Netherlands. She was a barmaid in Germany, had passionate affairs in Italy and Turkey and in Thailand she caught an exotic disease that had her sitting on the toilet for three days.

Back in the States, Nikki continued on her travels, despite her mother begging her to settle down back home in Boston.

As time moved on however, the nomadic lifestyle started to lose its appeal and by the time she washed up in the small town in Northern California she was starting to think that maybe it was time to lay down some roots.

Satisfied that the floor was clean, she put away her mop and sitting at the counter she opened her book. She still had an hour to kill before the end of her shift and she doubted anyone else would be in tonight. Nikki sighed, she may have wanted to settle down, but she doubted very much that it would be in Charming. She had seen the name on the map and had decided to come and see if it lived up to its name. After a month though, she knew it was anything but. The place had literally nothing going for it, and despite its resident motorcycle club, was boring as hell. It would take her a couple of months to save up enough to move on, maybe less if she could pick up some extra shifts. The sooner she got out of this Godforsaken town the better.

She looked up and rolled her eyes as a pair of headlights told her that a truck had pulled in. Typical, five minutes before she was due to shut up shop a customer pulls in. No wait. Two customers. She glanced out of the window as close behind the truck a Harley turned in so quickly that, even in the darkness she could see the back end fishtail. With a resigned sigh, she stood and straightened her uniform as the door flew open…..


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Sons of Anarchy

INTERESTING

Nikki looked over. "Oh shit." The man who entered the diner was tall and heavily built, but it wasn't that that held her attention. Neither was it the Nazi tattoos, or that his pale blue jeans were soaked in blood and he was dragging his leg behind him. Her focus was entirely on the gun in his right hand. She wasn't an expert on firearms, all she registered was that it was big and black and it was pointed at her.

"You, bitch get over here."

Nikki stood rooted to the floor as he lurched closer and closer. He grabbed her arm as the door swung open for a second time and pulled her in front of him, using her as a human shield, the muzzle of his gun pressed against her temple.

"Drop the gun, or the bitch gets it." Nikki's eyes met the cold black eyes of the man in front of her, silently pleading with him to put down his own weapon. His lips curled up it a tiny smile.

"Kill her, she means nothing to me. Either way, you're a dead man, shithead."

Oh shit, he was actually going to let him kill her.

"I know you sons don't want to see innocents killed, just put the fucking gun down or I will kill her."

"You're talking to the wrong son, motherfucker. Let her go, don't let her go, it's all the same to me. Fuck it, I'll just shoot you through her."

She was going to die. Right here in this shitty diner.

Something, she didn't know what, made her look up at him. His eyes met hers for a second time and again, he gave a tiny smile. As if in slow motion, she saw his finger start to squeeze the trigger. The man holding her swung his gun towards the man in front of them and as he pulled the trigger, his head exploded. Nikki was pulled backwards. Her ears were ringing, her face was wet and when she put her hand to her face, her fingers were covered with blood. She shut her eyes, sank to the floor and started to dry heave.

She was vaguely aware of motorbikes pulling up outside and the sound of the door opening.

"Shit, Hap. Chibs, over here." Nikki hugged her knees and kept her eyes tightly shut. She just wanted this nightmare to end. Someone was crouching down in front of her and she tried to make herself even smaller. "You hurt?" She gave her head a tiny shake. "C'mon sweetheart, I need you to open your eyes. My brother's hurt, I need your help." Reluctantly Nikki opened her eyes and looked into the bright blue eyes of the man in front of her. He gave a smile. "Good girl. Right, I need you to get me clean towels or something. Quick as you can." She nodded and got quickly to her feet, ran behind the counter and grabbed a pile of towels which she handed to another biker who was bent over the prone body of the gunman.

"Thanks darlin'." He looked round. "Tig, we need to get him out of here. There's no way I'm gonna be able to stop the bleeding and the slug's still inside him. We need to get him to St Thomas." He turned back to Nikki. "That jeep out front yours?" She nodded and he held out his hand. "I need the keys." Silently she handed them over. Now wasn't the time to argue. He took them with a smile.

"Thanks. Juicy boy, over here. Give us a hand." A third, much younger biker, she hadn't noticed before hurried over and helped get the injured man to his feet and to her jeep, leaving her alone with the blue eyed man.

He walked quickly to the door and locked it before turning back to her. "Turn the main lights off, doll. Wouldn't want someone seeing Nazi boy there." Nikki did as she was instructed, just leaving the kitchen lights on. She didn't want to look at the corpse on the floor either. The biker sat on one of the tall stools and leant his back against the counter.

"That coffee still hot?" She nodded and, with shaking hands, poured him a cup. He took a sip and lit a cigarette. Nikki opened her mouth to tell him he couldn't smoke in there, before closing it again. She really, really didn't want to piss off the man sitting in front of her.

"Are you going to kill me?"

"Why? are you planning on going to the cops?"

Nikki shook her head. No.

"Then no." He gave her a small smile, which made him marginally less terrifying. "I'm just here till the clean up team arrives. Trust me, doll, by the time they're finished it'll be like we were never here." He slid off the stool and sauntered behind the counter and into the kitchen. He returned moments later with a handful of damp paper towels.

"Best get you cleaned up a bit as well." He gently wiped the blood from her face, frowning as her tears began to fall.

"Hey c'mon doll, I need you to keep it together. You've been doing really well till now." Nikki tried, she really did. But the tears wouldn't stop falling. "I thought I was going to die." She whispered.

"Nah, doll. Happy would never let that happen."

"But he said…."

"You're still alive aint ya? And that low life piece of shit aint." He chuckled. "Looks like everything turned out just fine."

He looked up at the sight of headlights pulling into the lot. He unlocked the door then walked back and taking her arm led her into the kitchen.

"Stay here." Nikki was more than happy to comply. She had no desire to watch them dispose of the rapidly cooling body out front. She slid to the floor and with her back against the cabinet, she closed her eyes. She would never, ever complain about being bored again.

"Hey doll. You wanna open your eyes? The guys are done. The place is all cleaned up."

She opened her eyes and looked at the man in front of her. Despite her fear, she couldn't deny he was hot, and under different circumstances she would most definitely be interested.

"How am I going to get home?"

"I'll give you a ride. As soon as your jeep is cleaned up, we'll get it back to you."

"Okay." She followed him through, the now corpseless room. She had to admit, the biker was right. There was no evidence at all of what had taken place less than an hour before.

The biker climbed on his bike and waited for her to lock up. "C'mon, I aint got all day."

Swallowing her apprehension, Nikki walked slowly to his bike.

"Ever been on one of these?"

"No, never."

"Well it's pretty simple, just hold on tight and don't fall off."

The short ride home wasn't quite as terrifying as she'd thought. In fact she could probably be persuaded to enjoy it.

They pulled up outside and she dismounted, handing him back his helmet.

He gave her a stern look. "I don't have to explain the importance of you not telling anyone about tonight do I?"

"No. It's okay I wont say anything."

"Good girl. I'll make sure your jeep gets back to you." He reached out and squeezed her shoulder. "The club appreciates your cooperation. See you around doll."

Once inside her little studio headed to the tiny kitchen area and grabbed a bottle of vodka and poured herself a large drink. The only way she was going to get any sleep was to drink herself into oblivion.

She had planned on leaving Charming and now she knew that the sooner she got out, the better.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own sons of anarchy

PACKING

The biggest problem with drinking yourself to sleep, is the hangover that greets you in the morning. Nikki groaned as she tried to prise her eyelids apart, the events of the previous day flashing before her in graphic detail. Her stomach churned. She wasn't sure if it was the vodka or the memory of the guy's head exploding all over her face, either way she was going to puke. She just made it to the bathroom and emptied the contents of her stomach down the pan.

Staggering into the kitchen, she put the coffee on before grabbing a glass of water and a couple of painkillers.

She was going to have to call her boss. There was no way she was going back to that place. Some people may say you should get back on the metaphorical horse. Not Nikki though, she was gonna call in some favours and with any luck would be heading out of this town and away from psycho bikers within the next couple of days.

She headed for the shower and literally washed that man right out of her hair. (Which made her puke again.) And feeling more human, started packing her few personal belongings into plastic storage boxes.

The good thing about a nomadic lifestyle, was you never amassed too much stuff, and packing never took long.

After phoning her boss to tell him she was quitting and promising to drop the keys with a co-worker, she called her friend in Washington state to beg the use of her sofa for a week or so. All she needed now was the return of her jeep and she could go.

Nikki grabbed all her dirty clothes and stuffed them in a garbage bag, she may as well take a trip to the laundromat while she was waiting. Sitting around thinking didn't seem like a good idea somehow.

Charming looked the same as it always had as she lugged her washing down the street. For some inexplicable reason she had expected it to be different. But people were going about their business as usual, completely unaware of what had happened in the diner a few miles down the road. She stopped in her tracks as the sound of a Harley filled the air and swallowing the bile that was rising in her throat, she turned to see the blue eyes biker pull over to the kerb and dismount.

"Hey doll, where you heading?"

"Laundry." She croaked, holding up the bag.

He grabbed her chin and, none too gently, lifted her face so he could get a better look at her.

"You okay? You're looking all pale and shit."

What sort of dumb question was that? Of course she wasn't okay. She'd had a Nazi explode over her.

"I'm fine. Just didn't get much sleep."

"You eaten?"

Nikki looked at him, incredulously. Was this guy for real?

"Don't seem to have much of an appetite at the moment."

"You gotta eat doll." He grabbed her bag and marched to the laundromat with a bemused Nikki trailing behind him.

Once there he proceeded to dump her clothes into the washer.

"No wait." Nikki grabbed the washing from him. "I need to separate the whites."

He grinned and held up a pair of white lacy panties. "I can see why you wouldn't want these to turn grey."

Blushing furiously she snatched them from him and threw them into a second machine. "Please let me do this."

He rolled his eyes and waited until she loaded two machines. "Done?"

She nodded.

"Good, c'mon lets go and get something to eat." He led her to a small bakery around the corner and ordered a couple of filled bagels and two large coffees to go not bothering to ask her what she wanted, before heading across the road to a small park. He sat on a bench overlooking a small duck pond and handed her one of the bagels. "Sit, eat. Don't look so worried, doll. I don't bite." He gave what could only be described as a leer. "Unless you want me to, that is."

Nikki sat next to him and stared out over the pond.

"Why aint you eating?"

She looked at the bagel in her hand. "Cos I think I'll puke if I eat anything." She took a deep, shuddering breath. "I can't stop thinking about it. I've never even seen a dead body before, let alone one with half a face." She swallowed. "He said he was going to kill me. And the other one, your friend, didn't care. He said…He said…" She couldn't continue.

"Hey, hey. I told you last night, Hap wouldn't have let you die. If he didn't care, you'd be dead. Trust me on that."

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah. Well he will be. He's a tough motherfucker. Takes more than a little ole bullet to keep him down. Now do as you're told and eat."

She hadn't realized how hungry she was until she bit into the bagel. She turned to the biker. "Thanks. I'm sorry, I don't know your name."

"If I told you that I'd have to kill you."

She paled and he laughed. "I'm joking, doll. It's Tig. Now you know mine, you can tell me yours."

"I'm Nikki."

"Well Nikki, are you planning on going into work tonight?" Tig wasn't a stupid man and he could see how shaken up she was.

"No, I'm planning on leaving town as soon as I get my jeep back." She gave him a small smile. "I was planning on leaving soon anyway. But after last night.." She chuckled "Well let's just say. Nearly being killed by Nazis is a bit of a motivator." She took a sip of her coffee. "I'm planning on being out of here by tomorrow, or the day after at the latest, so you wont have to keep checking up on me." Tig opened his mouth to speak, but she raised her hand. "I get it, Tig, I really do. You need to make sure I don't tell anyone what happened. Well you can relax. I just want to get as far away from here as I can, and forget that last night ever happened."

She stood up and threw her cup into the bin. "I would appreciate it if you could get my jeep back to me as soon as possible."

Tig stood and walked back to the laundromat with her. "I'm sorry for what happened to you." He reached out and touched her arm. "Take care doll." He walked back to his bike and, gunning the engine, disappeared down the road.

Nikki sorted out her washing then headed back to the tiny studio that had been her home for the past few months and continued packing.

It was early evening when her jeep was returned by a young guy with the legend 'prospect' on his vest. He was sweet, and seemed too innocent to be associated with what were clearly cold bloodied killers. She kept her opinion to herself, however. And she was grateful for his help in loading the boxes into the jeep.

She was up at the crack of dawn, the next day. She had a long drive ahead of her, and to be honest, she didn't want to stay in Charming for one second longer than she needed.

She smiled to herself as she passed the 'You are now leaving Charming' sign, and turned up the stereo as she headed north.

So much for excitement.

Hopefully Tacoma would be really, really boring.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own sons of anarchy

TACOMA

Nikki was exhausted as she drove through the streets of Tacoma. She had been on the road for nearly fourteen hours and was desperate to stretch her aching limbs. The relief she felt as she pulled into her friend, Honey's street and parked her jeep outside her tiny ranch style house was undeniable.

"Nikki, baby. Oh it's so good to see you." Honey gushed as she dragged her tired friend into the house.

She sank gratefully onto the sofa as Honey poured them both a large glass of red and joined her, tucking her long legs under her. "Here, you look like you could use a drink." She tucked her long blonde hair behind her ear. "Are you going to tell me why all of a sudden you're upping sticks and leaving the California sunshine. And I'm not accepting that you were missing me." She gave Nikki a nudge. "C'mon girlfriend, you can tell me. It's a man isn't it."

"No Honey, it's not a man. I just didn't want to stick around any more. You know what I'm like. I was bored, needed a change of scenery."

Honey frowned. She had known Nikki for long enough to know when she was being evasive, she also knew that pushing wouldn't get her anywhere. Nikki was a guarded person at the best of times. If she didn't want to share, she wouldn't.

"Whatever you say, baby. Are you planning on staying long? I can get you work at Charlie's if you are."

"I can't see me being a very successful as a pole dancer, Honey." She laughed. "We can't all be leggy blondes, with perfect tits, you know."

Honey gave her a hug. "I'm sure you'd make a fantastic pole dancer. But I actually was thinking about bar work."

"Oh, okay. Yeah that would be great. I'm not sure how long I'm staying, but I do need to earn some cash."

"I'm working tomorrow night so I'll talk to Charlie then. He's always looking for good bartenders, and they don't come better than you." She unravelled her never ending legs and held out her hand to her friend. "C'mon let me show you your room. You look done in, I'm sure you could do with a good night's sleep."

Nikki rolled her eyes at her friend's none too subtle way of telling her that she looked like shit. Although, compared to the blonde beauty that was leading her to the spare room, Nikki always felt a bit like a skank. She wasn't ugly, she knew. But she wasn't a stand out beauty either. She would describe her hair as brown, although the colour was nearer to chestnut. Her blue eyes were pretty enough, she guessed and although she was happy enough with her body, she couldn't imagine men would pay good money to see her five foot two curvy frame.

Nikki collapsed on the narrow bed and closed her eyes, trying almost successfully to push any lingering images of dead Nazis out of her head, only to find them replaced with an image of a blue eyed biker. She turned over and buried her face in the pillow. Oh no she was so not going there.

This was Nikki's second visit to Tacoma and she liked the city a lot. It was big enough to provide her with the amenities and entertainment she needed but didn't have that 'big city' vibe of say, New York. As she walked down Honey's street towards Charlie's bar, she was already thinking that finally, maybe this was a place she could settle in.

Charlie's bar was a typical, slightly sleazy, pole dancing club. She walked across the dimly lit room, her feet sticking to the tacky floor, to where Charlie was sitting, propping up the bar.

"Hi there, darling. You must be Nikki. Honey tells me you're a bartender." He looked her up and down. "Although if you ever wanna work the poles, I'd be happy to give you a spot."

"Bartending is just fine, thanks." She smiled. "I'm happy to work any shifts and trust me, you'll not regret taking me on."

Charlie grinned. "Darling, if you're half as good as Honey says you are, I'll be happy to have you here." He held out his right hand. "Welcome to the team."

To her surprise, Nikki found her self enjoying her job. Normally she would have to fend off dirty old men trying to hit on her, but here their attention was taken up by the dancers. So she was mostly left alone to get on with her work.

She had been in Tacoma for nearly a month now and had nearly enough money for a small apartment. She loved Honey, but she needed her privacy and if she was going to stick around, she was going to have to find herself somewhere more permanent. She was about halfway through the Saturday night shift and had barely enough time to breathe. "Hey, sweetheart. Couple of large scotches over here. Quick as you can."

Nikki grinned, recognizing the voice as one of her regulars. He came in a couple of evenings a week for an hour or so. He never had a dance, just sat at the bar and chatted to her in the early evening, while the bar was quiet. He was pleasant company and, she had to admit, easy on the eye.

She turned. "Hi Herman. Be with you in a sec. Oh!" Her eyes met the dark, almost black eyes of the man standing next to him and the glass she was holding, fell through her fingers.


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own sons of anarchy

SONS

The glass shattered on the floor, causing everyone within close proximity to stop what they were doing and look round. Nikki stood transfixed as she stared into the eyes of the dark eyed biker.

"Are you okay, darling?" Nikki spun round as Charlie touched her arm.

"Yeah, I…" She tried to compose herself. "I gotta get some air." She spun on her heel and rushed through the back doors, gasping as the cool air hit her.

"Shit Hap, I know you got a reputation with the ladies. But what the fuck did you do to her?" Kozic frowned. "I thought she was new in town. When did you two meet?"

"Long story, bro." Happy pushed himself away from the bar and headed to the back doors. "Back in a bit." Kozic shook his head. Happy wasn't big on sharing.

Nikki slid down the wall and pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes. She was going to die. Why else was he here? She tried to gather her thoughts. Was he friends with Herman? Is that how he found her?

If she was thinking rationally, she would have realized that this was just a horrible coincidence. But at that precise moment, Nikki was convinced he was there to kill her.

Happy walked out into the tiny yard and squatted down next to her. She stiffened, waiting for the bullet.

"I aint gonna hurt you." He waited for a response but got none. "That shit back in Charming really freaked you out, didn't it?"

"Yes." It was the smallest whisper, but at least she was speaking.

"I wouldn't have let him hurt you."

Nikki dared to look up. "But you said…"

"Don't matter what I said. You aint dead are ya?"

"That's what Tig said."

"Well you shoulda listened to him. Is that why you skipped town? Cos you were freaking out?"

She nodded. "Sort of, I would have moved on eventually. But, yeah. Having a gun held to my head speeded things up a bit."

Happy pulled a joint from his pocket, lit it and took a long drag before passing it to her. "That guy. He was the worst kinda asshole. White hate, trafficking women. You name it, that piece of shit was involved." He grinned at the skeptical expression on her face. "Yeah, I know I aint a choir boy. But that son of a bitch makes me look like one."

Nikki took a huge drag from the joint. "So you're not here to kill me?"

"No, sweetheart. Sons don't kill innocents."

"But you said…."

"If I wanted you dead, you would be."

"Tig said that as well."

"Sounds like you two had a nice little chat."

"I wouldn't say that." She passed the joint back to him. "So if you're not here to kill me, why are you here?"

Happy laughed. "I live here, sweetheart. I had no idea when Kozic said that there was a hot new bartender at Charlie's it was gonna be you."

"Kozic?"

Happy smirked. "Sorry, Herman. Shit, you didn't know he was a Son, did you?"

Nikki shook her head. "He doesn't wear one of those vests."

"Cuts, they're called cuts. And he does, but we don't wear them all the time. And Charlie's isn't the sort of place you want to be advertising your affiliations. C'mon, lets get back inside, Charlie will never cope on his own." He stood, wincing as he straightened up.

Nikki frowned as she too, got to her feet. "Are you okay?"

Happy put his hand over the bullet wound. "Bit sore, is all."

"You knew didn't you? That he'd take a shot at you."

"I needed him to take the gun away from your head before I took a shot. Had to convince him that the only way he was gonna survive was by taking me down."

"But you could've been killed."

"Nah, fucker was a lousy shot."

"But.."

"Don't sweat it sweetheart, it's all good. You're alive, I'm alive and that Nazi fucker's dead." He patted her shoulder. "C'mon Koz, sorry Herman, will be wanting to ogle your ass."

Nikki walked slowly behind him. "Um, Happy. Does Herman really think I'm hot?"

"You have no idea, sweetheart, he couldn't wait for me to see you."

Happy was right, as soon as they got inside Nikki found her self running round serving irate customers, who were getting seriously pissed with waiting. Charlie was a decent boss and knew how to run a club, but he was a terrible bartender.

It wasn't until the early hours of the morning that the place finally emptied. Happy and Herman had left hours ago, she'd been far too busy to speak to them again.

As the last customer left the building, Nikki poured herself a large vodka and sitting on a barstool, rested her head on the bar.

"So, darling, you gonna tell me what's going on with you an' Happy?" Charlie pulled up a stool and sat next to her.

"Nothing, Charlie. I just know him from Cali, is all."

"Didn't seem like nothing. Now I aint gonna push darling, mostly cos I don't wanna piss off that mean son of a bitch. But I will say this. Be careful around the Sons, especially him. Kos aint so bad. But don't be fooled by his charm. He can be just as dangerous as Happy. You're a good girl, an' I like having you here, I don't wanna see you get hurt. I can see Koz is showing an interest in you an' I would hate you to get sucked into something you can't handle. They don't treat their women well." He chuckled. "And this is coming from a man who runs a pole dancing club."

"It's okay, I don't see myself getting involved with a Son. To tell the truth, They scare the pants off me." She swallowed the last of her drink and slid off the stool. "I'm gonna head off home. I'll see you on Monday."

The street was silent as Nikki left the building and rounded the corner. She sucked in a breath, there in front of her was a Harley. "Hey, sweetheart, wanna ride?" Kozic stood in front of her holding out a helmet.

"I can walk, thanks." She tried to step round him, but he bared her way. "Please Herman, I just want to get home."

"Call me Kozic. Don't look so worried, I just wanna give you a ride."

Nikki shook her head. "Kozic, I appreciate the offer, but really, it's only a couple of blocks and I enjoy the walk."

"Okay, no problem. We'll walk." Kozic grinned. "Most women can't wait to get on the back of my bike."

"Guess I'm not most women."

They walked in silence for a while until it was broken by Kozic. "So what was all that with Happy?"

Nikki gave a small smile, she knew he'd been itching to ask. "You'll have to ask him."

"That's it? C'mon sweetheart, you gotta give me more than that."

She shook her head and stopped at her gate. "This is me. Thanks for walking me home." She reached up on tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Goodnight Kozic."

As he walked back to his bike, Kozic wondered what just happened. He'd actually been given the brush off. That never happened to him. All he had to do was click his fingers and women came running.

He was pretty sure there was nothing serious going on between her and Happy, he certainly wasn't bothered when he told him he was going back to the club. And apart from her acting all weird when they first got there, she'd hardly looked in Happy's direction at all.

He climbed onto his bike and headed off home alone. Shit, he really hoped he wasn't losing his touch.


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own sons of anarchy

PARTY

Nikki closed the front door and headed straight for her room. She just wanted to lay down and sleep.

"Hey, girlfriend. You planning on sneaking past me." Honey laid her hand on Nikki's shoulder, causing her to almost jump out of her skin.

"Shit, Honey. What are you? Part ninja?" Nikki pressed her hand on her chest. She'd had enough surprises for one night.

Honey grabbed her hand and dragged her to the sofa. "You aint going anywhere until you explain to me what Kozic was doing on my doorstep."

"You know Kozic?"

"Darling, every woman in Tacoma knows Kozic." She grinned. "They've either been fucked by him, or wanna be fucked by him."

"And which category do you fall in?"

Honey's grin got wider. "What do you think?"

Nikki rolled her eyes. Stupid question. What man would pass up the chance of being with her. Although if she was honest, she was a little concerned for her friend. They had known each other since they were kids, but only got close after bumping into each other a couple of years after graduating.

Nikki had always expected Honey to do well for herself. She was a cheerleader and easiest the most beautiful girl in the school, but as she entered her thirties there was no showbiz career or rich husband on the horizon.

She was still beautiful, but up close, the cracks were starting to show. A lifetime of stripping was starting to take it's toll and the all American beauty had developed a hard edge.

She was coming to the end of her shelf life and there was a desperation about her that Nikki had never seen before. She knew she struggled to get the top slots at Charlie's, Friday and Saturday nights were given to the younger girls, and she was working in some seriously seedy joints just to make ends meet. Nikki worried about what would become of her friend as the years progressed.

"Well I don't want to fuck him. He just walked me home is all."

"He WALKED you home? Jesus, Nik, he must be keen. Sons don't walk anywhere." Honey laughed. "How can you not be interested? Kozic is hot."

"Well I'm not, and neither is he. The only reason he walked me home was because he wanted to know what's going on with me and Happy."

"Happy? Oh this gets better and better. You've only been here five minutes and you've got two of the hottest Sons vying for your attention."

Nikki sighed. "Nobody is vying for my attention. Kozic comes in Charlie's sometimes and I met Happy in Cali. I'm not interested in either of them, and they're not interested in me." She stood up. "I'm going to bed, it's been a long night. See you in the morning."

"Goodnight darling. Hey, the sons are having a big party next week, I'm working the poles. You should come. The sons have the best parties."

"Not really my thing, Honey. Don't really see myself as a biker chick." She headed into the bedroom and collapsed on her bed. The last thing she needed in her life was more bikers. True Kozic was a good looking guy, with a certain amount of charm but Happy was terrifying. Even after promising not to hurt her, he was still the last man she wanted to be around. No absolutely nothing on earth would get her to that party. She closed her eyes, pushing all thoughts of bikers from her mind and fell into a dreamless sleep.

"I cant believe I let you talk me into this." Nikki reluctantly followed Honey towards the Sons of anarchy clubhouse, hugging herself against the cold night air and tottering in the ridiculous heels that her friend had lent her, insisting that they made her look hot. She gritted her teeth, how was hobbling around with blisters on her feet, hot?

If she were asked Nikki would describe herself as pretty fearless. She had travelled the world unaccompanied, after all. But as she walked into the clubhouse, she couldn't deny the feeling of apprehension that washed over her.

The place was packed to the rafters with bikers and scantily dressed women. The air was thick with smoke, cheap perfume and testosterone. Honey waved to a girl on the other side of the room. "Gotta work, darling. See you in a bit." She gave Nikki a kiss on the cheek and disappeared leaving her standing with a slightly scared expression on her face. Shit this was such a huge mistake.

"Hey sweet cheeks, go get me a beer." Nikki squeaked as her ass was slapped by one of the biggest bikers she had ever seen. She swallowed the urge to tell him to fuck himself and tottered toward the bar. She was halfway to her destination when she decided that she really, really didn't want to be there and, turning on her ridiculous heel and hurried as quickly as she could towards the door.

"Going somewhere, darling?" Oh shit, the night was just getting better and better. She planted a smile on her face and turned to the owner of that raspy voice. "Hi Happy. Can't stop, gotta go. Bye." She managed a single step, before she was halted by a hand grabbing her arm.

"What you doing here, anyway? Did Koz invite you?"

"No." She shook her head. "My friend." She pointed to where Honey was doing her thing. "Look, it was a stupid idea. I should never have let her talk me into coming." She tried to pull away but his grip just got firmer.

"Now you're here, you might as well have a drink." Happy marched to the bar, dragging her behind him.

"Happy, please, I just want to go home." She whined.

"One drink, then you can go."

Nikki knew when she was beat and took the beer he offered. "Thanks."

Happy watched as she glanced nervously around the room. "Relax, no one's gonna hurt you."

"Tell that to my butt."

Happy gave a short laugh. "That's Bully. He's harmless." He paused. "Well mostly harmless."

"I guess it's all relative, huh."

"Look I know that you probably think that we're all psycho killers or something, an' I guess you have good reason to, given how we met. But there is more to us than that."

Nikki looked around. "I'm sure you're all lovely people. Deep down. But if it's all the same to you, I'll stick with my first impressions. I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I really, really want to get my ass out of here."

Happy nodded. "Whatever you want, darling. C'mon I'll walk you to your car. Gotta protect that fine ass of yours."

As soon as they got outside, she kicked off her shoes. "Oh that is such a relief." She groaned as she rubbed her sore toes.

"If they hurt you so much, why did you wear them?"

"Honey said they made me look hot."

"Then she must be one dumb bitch. You look just as hot without them."

Nikki was grateful that it was too dark for him to see her blush.

"Yup." He grinned. " Short and hot."

"Thanks, Happy."

They walked to her jeep in silence. As she moved to open the door he bent and kissed her softly on the lips. "Drive safely, Shorty."

Nikki did her best 'bunny in the headlights' impression for a moment before pulling herself together as best she could. "Bye, Happy. Enjoy the party." She climbed into her jeep and pulled out of the lot without a backwards glance. No, no, no. She was not going to go there. He killed people. He was dangerous. It was just a little kiss, it meant nothing. Absolutely nothing at all.

Oh fuck! She was so deep in thought, that she ran a red light and nearly mowed down a guy on a Dyna turning left towards the clubhouse.

"Stupid fucking bitch. Look where you're going!"

She slammed on her brakes as he swerved and only narrowly avoided laying his bike down. Kicking the stand down he stormed towards her. "What the fuck were you doing? Are you fucking blind or something?"

"I'm so sorry." She turned and looked straight into the bright blue eyes of Tig. "What are you doing here?"

"Trying not to get killed by stupid bitches, running red lights."

"Tig, I really am sorry. I should've been paying attention."

"Damn straight, you should've. I've been on the road for a fucking day and a half only to get nearly killed yards from where I'm heading." He pointed an angry finger at her. "I'm beginning to regret not killing you now. What you doing here, anyway?"

"I live here, although I'm seriously thinking of moving on again, seeing as my attempt at staying away from psycho bikers doesn't seem to have gone too well."

"Well let me know where you're planning on going so I can avoid it." Tig turned and walked back to his bike. "See you around. Try not to kill anyone on your way home."

She had stopped shaking by the time she got home. Shit he really was the last person she wanted to see. Happy and Kozic may have been intruding on her waking hours. But it was Tig who invaded her dreams.


	7. Chapter 7

I don't own sons of anarchy

ICE CREAM

Tig was still fuming when he pulled into the clubhouse lot. He hadn't wanted to go to Tacoma in the first place but had been told, in no uncertain terms that the run was mandatory. He would have to suck it up and play nice with that blonde douche, Kozic whether he wanted to or not. Then he'd had a problem with his fuel line just as they reached the outskirts of Tacoma, and his so called brothers, not wanting to miss out on the free booze and pussy on offer, had left him to fix it on his own. True Juice had offered to stay with him, but that little retard was next to useless so he'd declined the offer. Nearly getting run down by that stupid bitch was just the icing on the cake.

He weaved his way through the crowd towards the bar. Right now all he wanted was a large drink and to be left the fuck alone.

"Tig, brother. Thought you weren't gonna make it. Clay said you were having bike trouble." Happy slapped him on the back and handed him a large Jack. "Here, you look like you could use it."

"Thanks bro." Tig swallowed the amber liquid and slammed the empty glass back on the bar. "Next time you find yourself facing a Nazi asshole holding a woman at gun point, promise me you'll let him shoot the bitch."

Happy raised a questioning eyebrow.

"That stupid bitch from the diner is in Tacoma. She just ran a red light. Nearly took me out."

"She okay?"

"Yes Happy, she's okay. Usually in jeep verses bike situations the jeep driver is okay." Tig picked up his refilled glass. "Wait. You knew she was here?"

"Yeah bumped into her a while back. She works in a bar just round the corner from Kozic's crib." He grinned. "Koz has been hitting on her for the past month. Aint had no luck yet though."

"Oh this just get better and better. Although, if she's knocking him back, I guess she can't be all bad." He turned and looked across the room at the crowd. "I think I need to find myself some pussy." He pointed to a tall redhead. "What's that one like?"

Happy shrugged. "Like all the rest bro. Available."

Tig nodded and stalked over to her. He grabbed her arm and led her, none too gently to her quiet corner to have some fun.

Happy suppressed a sigh. Normally he was as up for a good time as the next man, but tonight he really wasn't feeling it. He pushed himself away from the bar and made his way towards the blonde who was working the pole.

She smiled as he caught her eye. "Hey sugar, what can I do for you?" Easing herself off the podium, she slipped her arms around his neck.

He pushed her gently away. "The chick you came with. You got an address?"

"She's my roomie. Has she left already?"

"Did you really think she'd stick around?"

Honey shrugged. "I guess not. She really needs to lighten up and have some fun, sometimes."

Happy scowled. This bitch was starting to piss him off. You do not abandon your friend in a clubhouse full of one percenters. This was not a cocktail party. "Address?"

"24 Park street. It's…"

"I know where it is." He turned and walked through the back door to his bike.

Nikki scrubbed the makeup from her face and slipped into her pj's. She had known that going to that party was a bad idea. In fact she was beginning to think that moving to Tacoma had been a mistake as well. As she sank onto the sofa clutching a tub of Ben and Jerry's, she had practically decided that it was time to move on.

She was just about to dig her spoon into the ice cream when there was a loud knock at the door. Sighing she stood and reluctantly walked to the front door.

"Do you always just open the door without checking who's there?" Happy pushed past her and walked into the lounge.

"Obviously, yes." Nikki followed him and picking up the tub, sat back down on the sofa. "What do you want?"

What did he want? Truthfully Happy didn't know. He pointed at the ice cream tub. "What's that? And what the fuck are you wearing?"

"This." She held up the cookie dough ice cream. "Is the nectar of the gods. And these are my Mini Mouse pj's."

Happy shook his head and sat down next to her. "What are you, twelve?"

Nikki grinned and offered the spoon to him. "Try it. This would be wasted on twelve year olds. It's almost as good as sex."

Happy took a huge mouthful. "Not bad. But if you think it's as good as sex, you're doing it wrong."

"I did say almost. And I'm not doing it at all."

He looked her up and down. "I'm not surprised, if that's what you go to bed in every night. Of course if you want to take them off, I could always rectify the situation."

"Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll stick to the ice cream." She took the spoon from him and helped herself to a generous portion. "Why are you here Happy?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. Not in the mood to party, I guess." He grabbed the spoon from her and helped himself to more of the ice cream. "Tig came in just before I left. Said you nearly killed him."

"I didn't nearly kill him, he just had to swerve a bit. He's really pissed isn't he?"

"A bit. Don't worry. He burying himself in pussy as we speak. He'll soon cheer up." He handed her the spoon. "You got any beer?"

She shook her head. "Wine."

"Guess that will have to do." He waited for her to get up and fetch it, rolling his eyes when she stayed where she was. "I'll get it myself then. Shall I?"

"It's in the fridge, corkscrew is in the drawer. Oh and bring two glasses."

Happy did as he was told. "No wonder you aint got an old man." He grumbled as he sat back down, a little closer than before.

"Who says I want one. Been there, done that. Not in any hurry to do it again."

"You married?"

"Divorced. A long time ago."

"Kids?"

"Nope."

"So what happened?"

"Nothing really, I was too young, wanted to see the world, he didn't."

Happy passed her a glass of wine.

"So did you?"

"What?"

"See the world?"

"Yeah, well some of it. Europe, Asia, you know, here and there." She frowned. "What's with all the questions?"

"Just getting to know you."

"What about you. You married?"

"Nope."

"Ever been?"

"Nope."

"Girlfriend?"

"Don't do girlfriends."

"Do you have a job? Apart from killing people that is?"

"Mechanic. Killing's more of a hobby."

Nikki stiffened slightly. "That's not funny."

"Relax, eat your ice cream. I'm only messing with ya." He sighed. "The life I lead can be dangerous sometimes. I wouldn't even be discussing it with you if you hadn't already witnessed it first hand. But what I said before is true. It aint all I am. Aint all the club is. It's a family. A dysfunctional family at times. But a family, none the less. I love my brothers and will do anything to protect them, as they would for me."

"You're still a scary son of a bitch." She reached up and ran her thumb along his chin. "Even with ice cream on your face."

He took her hand and kissed each of her fingers before sucking the ice cream from her thumb. Nikki could feel a stirring deep inside her. She snatched her hand away. "Don't happy. Please." She forced herself to look into his eyes. "I don't do one night stands. Ever. And you don't do girlfriends. So I think it's probably best if you leave now."

Happy gave her a tiny smile. "Okay, if that's what you want." He leaned over and kissed her. "You know where to find me if you change your mind. See you around shorty."


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own sons of anarchy

PRINCIPLES

As she climbed into her bed, Nikki couldn't quite push away that feeling of regret that had lodged itself in her chest. Happy was hot, there was no denying that, and he had the softest, most kissable lips. No she was most definitely not going there. She sighed, what was it with these bikers and their ability to get under her skin.

She had managed to go thirty one years without coming across any bikers at all and suddenly she couldn't move without running into one, literally at times. Maybe she should move to Alaska or something.

Instead of going back to the clubhouse, Happy chose to ride to the outskirts of town and to a tiny, out of the way, bar that he frequented whenever he wanted to be left alone.

He wasn't the type to get bent out of shape over a woman and he didn't plan on starting now. But he hadn't been turned down by a woman for as long as he could remember and he just needed to go somewhere quiet and process what had happened.

Happy was a man used to getting what he wanted, and to be turned down by a woman wearing, of all things, Mini Mouse pj's had bruised his ego. It wasn't a feeling he wanted to repeat.

It was getting light when he walked back into the clubhouse, wrinkling his nose at the stink that only drunken bikers and cheep pussy could produce. He headed for the bar, stepping carefully over the bodies that littered the floor and filled the coffee machine.

"Hey bro, what happened to you?"

Happy turned to see Kozic climb onto a barstool and slump across the bar. "Could ask you the same thing, Koz."

Kozic turned and pointed to a skinny blonde draped over the pool table. "Got a bit distracted." He grinned. "I love pole dancers. They're so bendy." He took the mug of coffee that Happy offered. "Thanks. So where did you get to?" Happy shrugged but offered no explanation. Kozic rolled his eyes. His brother could be a secretive son of a bitch when he wanted to be.

They both turned at the sound of high heels clip clopping across the floor. "Hi guys." Honey slipped behind the bar and helped herself to a coffee. "Did you go see Nikki?" She smiled a Happy, who scowled in response.

"Nikki? Oh Happy, you sly old dog. No wonder she gave me the brush off. You been tapping her all along?"

"I aint tapping her." Happy growled. Immediately regretting it as Kozic roared with laughter, wincing as he reawakened his hangover. "She gave you the brush off as well."

Honey touched his arm tentatively. Happy always made her nervous, despite the fact that, of all the sons, he was the most respectful towards women. "Nikki never, ever does one night stands." She frowned slightly. "It's a matter of principle with her. She wont sleep with anyone until they've had at least three dates. Mostly she doesn't sleep with them at all."

"She frigid?"

Happy scowl deepened. Kozi could be a real idiot sometimes. "Just cos she don't open her legs for any fucker, don't make her frigid."

Honey and Kozic exchanged a look but said nothing as he slammed his cup on the bar and stalked out of the club.

Kozic grinned. "He's a touchy fucker sometimes." He ran a finger along her jaw line. "What about you sweetheart? You got any principles?"

"No Koz, none at all."

"Good girl. C'mon you can help cure my hangover." He led her down a corridor and pushed her up against the wall, his grin getting wider as her leg rested on his shoulder. He loved his bendy pole dancers.

Happy banged on her door. This was ridiculous. He did not chase women. Ever.

"Happy?" Nikki rubbed her eyes. It was barely seven am.

"Did I warn you about opening your door without checking?" He frowned. "I could have been anyone."

"Yeah, wouldn't want to be opening the door to psycho killers, would I?"

"You got a smart mouth on ya, girly."

Nikki rolled her eyes. It was too early for this. "What do you want?"

"You working tonight?"

"No, it's my weekend off."

"Good, I'll pick you up at seven. Wear something warm." He turned on his heel and marched down the path towards his bike, leaving Nikki staring behind him with a bemused expression on her face.

Honey was beside herself with excitement. Anyone would think it was her going out with Happy.

"Is that what you're wearing?"

Nikki pulled the baggy, black sweatshirt over her head. "He said to wear something warm. If I'm going to be on the back of his bike, I don't plan on freezing my tits off."

"This is Happy, darling. If anything he's even hotter that Kozic. You do not want to blow this."

Nikki sighed. "Honey, I don't know why he wants to take me out. But the only reason I didn't turn him down flat, is because he didn't give me the option. Hot or not. I am not getting involved with him."

"You keep telling yourself that darling." Honey grinned. "Happy doesn't chase women, so I suggest you give him what he wants or he'll find it elsewhere."

"Fine by me." She was getting pissed now. Honey may be getting desperate but she wasn't. She liked her uncomplicated life and had no intention of changing it.

Happy huffed impatiently as she fumbled with the strap on her helmet. "Here." He buckled it for her and waited for her to climb on the back on his bike. With a quick check that she was holding on tightly, he pulled off in the direction of the bay. The journey was uneventful. He had guessed, correctly that she had no experience on the back of a bike and so he kept the trip short and his speeds down.

After less than half an hour they pulled up outside a tiny seafood restaurant, high on the cliffs, overlooking the port.

"Hope you like fish. This place is the best for miles." He led her into the dimly lit, slightly tatty looking building.

The owner greeted Happy warmly and led them to a table with a view of the boats moored down below. Nikki looked over at the man sitting opposite her. He had removed his hoodie revealing lean but muscular, tattooed arms.

"Nice ink."

"Thanks. You got any?"

She shook her head. "I've thought about it, but don't trust anyone enough to do it."

He nodded and began to study the menu. "You're not one of those picky broads are you?"

"No, I eat most things. Not sure about shellfish, though." She wrinkled her nose. "I try to avoid eating things without a backbone."

"You ever eaten lobster?"

She shook her head.

"Wanna try it?"

"Okay."

"Good girl." He raised his hand and ordered the lobster.

"Happy, why did you ask me out?"

"Do I have to have a reason?"

"I guess not." She gazed out of the window. "Yes actually, you do."

Happy smirked. "Pushy bitch."

"You really are a charmer. So you gonna tell me why we're here?"

"The bitch you live with said that you will only fuck someone after three dates."

Nikki's jaw dropped open. "Jesus, Happy are you for real?"

"Why? Was she bullshitting?"

"Well no, not exactly."

"Okay then, I'll take you on another couple of dates then I get to fuck you."

Nikki stood so quickly her chair fell backwards, crashing on the floor. "Goodbye Happy. Enjoy your lobster." She turned and hurried to the door.

"Hey, wait." Happy stood and grabbed her arm. "Why you so pissed off? Would you prefer I give you some bullshit about wanting to be your friend?"

"Happy, Honey shouldn't have said anything. I'm not going to sleep with you. Ever. You're a son and to tell the truth, you scare me." She touched his hand. "Don't waste your time on me."

"Sit down and eat your lobster. I aint gonna force myself on ya. But I hate wasting food." He gave her a small smile. "I aint used to bitches turning me down." His smile widened at the look on her face. "Sorry women. Shit girl, if hang with you for long I'm gonna turn into a real pussy."

"I don't think anything could turn you into a pussy." Nikki grinned and sat back down. "Why do you want to fuck me anyway?"

"Why wouldn't I? You're a hot chick. What man wouldn't want a piece of that fine ass."

"Well I guess I should be flattered."

The waiter brought their food. Nikki poked her lobster tentatively. "Are you going to show me how I'm supposed to eat this."

"Sure thing girl, just follow my lead."

To both their surprise, they found themselves enjoying each others company. They had a similar sense of humour and shared a love of music and dumb action movies. As they walked back to his bike at the end of their meal, Nikki slipped her arm through his. "Thanks for tonight, Happy. For a psycho killer, you aint a bad guy."

"Does this mean I might still be in with the chance of a fuck?"

"You don't give up, do you?"

"Nope. I'm not quitting till I get that fine ass of yours in the sack." He plonked the helmet on her head and planted a quick kiss on her lips. "You know you want to, girl. You're not gonna be able to resist me forever."

Nikki pressed her cheek against his back and closed her eyes. She could feel his muscles under her hands as he moved with the bike. Already she could feel her resolve crumbling. He had surprised her tonight. There really was much more to Happy than she had first thought.

Maybe she would stay in Tacoma for a while longer and maybe these bikers weren't as bad as she thought.


	9. Chapter 9

I don't own sons of anarchy

DEEPER

As she climbed off his bike, Nikki knew that she wanted to see more of Happy. He was more intelligent than she had given him credit for and she had to admit the undeniable love he had for his brothers was admirable. She couldn't imagine anyone loving her enough to be prepared to kill or die for her.

He took the helmet and treated her to one of those rare smiles. "We gonna do this again?"

"Is that a statement or a question, Hap?"

"What would you like it to be?"

She shrugged. "I'd like to do this again, I guess."

"But."

"But you scare me and the club scares me more."

"Told you before, I aint gonna force myself on ya." He reached out and ran a callused finger down her cheek before kissing her briefly on the lips. "If you wanna see me again, just say the word."

"Okay."

"Good girl." He pulled her closer and kissed her, more forcefully this time. "I'm gonna be away for a few days, as soon as I get back, I'll be in touch."

Nikki's hand pressed against his chest. "I'm gonna regret this, aren't I?"

Happy grinned, showing his dimples. God he was hot. "Don't see how you could regret this." He stretched out his arms.

Nikki shook her head with a laugh. "Whatever." She leaned over and kissed him softly, her lips barely touching his. "Have a good trip. Call me when you get back. Stay safe."

She lay back on her narrow bed and closed her eyes. She couldn't shake the feeling that she was making a horrible mistake. True, Happy wasn't the thug she thought he was. But she hated the thought of being just another notch on his bedpost. She knew though, that it was too late. That dark eyed, tattooed son of a bitch had sucked her in and wasn't going to let her go any time soon.

* * *

Happy's apartment was small and pristine. He would call it minimalist, his ma said it was Spartan.

He'd always liked it that way, hated clutter, hated mess. But as he looked around his lounge, noting the lack of any personal items he wondered, not for the first time, whether having someone to share his life wouldn't be such a bad thing. He shook his head and headed into the small kitchen area and poured himself a large bourbon. Shit he was turning into a pussy in his old age. Since when did the Tacoma killer need a woman cluttering up his life.

There was something about that little girl that had got him thinking about his life. Maybe it was her reluctance to sleep with him. Or the fact that she openly admitted that he scared her. Maybe it was because he felt guilty about putting her life in danger. He really wasn't sure.

He did know he wanted to see her again though, and soon. One way or another, that fine piece of ass would be his.

* * *

Tig scowled as the guys made ready to leave for Charming the following morning. His bike was still cutting out and misfiring and despite his best efforts he hadn't been able to locate the cause. He had no choice but to stay behind until it was fixed. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Kozic smirking. So far he had managed to give that blonde douche a wide birth but with half the Tacoma charter leaving for Charming with the Redwood crew it looked like avoiding him was going to be impossible.

"Need a hand Tiggy?"

"I need you to fuck off." He turned and stalked into the clubhouse. How the fuck was he supposed to get through the day without committing murder? "Prospect. I'm going out. Fix my fucking bike. I'll be using yours."

* * *

Even after hours on the road Tig wasn't feeling any happier. He pulled up outside Charlie's. Maybe one of his girls would cheer him up. Charlie always had the best girls.

"Hey, large vodka, no ice. Oh shit, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse."

"Hi Tig, still pissed at me, I see." Nikki poured him his drink. "It's on the house." Maybe free drinks would stop him from wanting to kill her. He took his drink and turned to watch the girls. Nikki rolled her eyes, she hadn't wanted to talk to him anyway.

For the next couple of hours they studiously ignored each other until Tig grew bored. "Happy tells me Kozic has been hitting on you."

"Not really. He just drinks in here sometimes."

"You want me to warn him off?"

"No. Why would I want you to do that?"

"Cos he's an asshole."

"Unlike you."

"I heard that." He pointed his finger in her face. "Watch your mouth."

"Or what Tig? We aint in your clubhouse now. This is my place of work, you do not get to tell me what to do."

"How come you're so brave all of a sudden?"

"I'm not brave, Tig. I'm pissed. I haven't done anything to you, so why are you being like this."

"You nearly killed me!"

"It was an accident. And I didn't nearly kill you. Fuck, I said I was sorry." She looked up and to her surprise, he was grinning.

"Spunky little thing aint ya."

"Not really. I just don't like being pushed around."

"Good for you. So when do you get off? Wanna get some food?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Why not, you gotta eat?"

"I just don't want to complicate things."

"Complicate things? Shit this is about Kozic isn't it?"

"No. It has nothing to do with Kozic." She sighed. "Please Tig, just drop it."

"Oooh I don't think I can do that sweetheart. Chicks don't turn down ol' Tigger without good reason."

"I didn't say I didn't have a good reason. I just said it wasn't anything to do with Kozic."

"What you got some boring old nine to fiver stashed away somewhere? Ditch him doll. Once you've had a taste of leather, you'll never go back to a suit."

Nikki rolled her eyes. She was beginning to think he was bi polar. One minute he wanted to kill her, the next, fuck her. "I don't have anyone stashed away."

"Don't believe you. If it aint a suit and it aint Koz, who is it?"

Nikki tried to avoid that steely look. And Tig's grin got wider. "Happy! Ha, I'm right aint I? you're fucking Happy!"

"I am not fucking Happy, I.. We.. I… Look I'm not fucking Happy, okay."

"But you want to."

"Maybe. Okay yes. There. You happy now? I want to fuck Happy."

"You should've said, doll. He wanna fuck you? Huh, stupid question. Of course he does." He frowned. "So why aint ya. If you want to?"

"Please, can we just drop the subject."

"Okay, doll don't get your panties in a twist. So when do you get off? Wanna get some food?"

"Tig.."

"I aint horny, doll. I'm hungry. Don't like eating alone." He chuckled. "You an' Happy got something going on, I aint standing in your way. That mean son of a bitch would probably slit my throat if I did."

"I get a break in half an hour. I usually go to the burger bar over the road. I guess we could go together if you promise not to mention Happy."

"That's a big ask doll."

The burger joint was empty as they sat down to eat. Tig grinned. "So you an' Happy?"

"Tig."

"I just don't understand why you aint fucking him, if you want to."

"Because I don't do casual sex."

"Ah, I can see how that could be a problem. You do know that casual sex is fun, right?"

She shrugged and looked out of the window. "For you, maybe. I just prefer to be in a relationship. Is that so wrong?"

"Nope. Does mean you'll most likely never get a taste of Hap though."

"I know. I guess it's just a case of who caves first."

Tig's eyes met hers and he gave her a smile. "Be careful doll, Hap don't play games. You really don't wanna push him."

"I don't play games either." She returned the smile. "Don't worry, Tig, we both know where we stand."

"Well if you ever change your mind about the casual sex."

"Sure Tig, you'll be the first to know."


	10. Chapter 10

I don't own son of anarchy

SECOND DATE

"Oh baby you're sooo good. Oooooh you're the best. So big. Oooh I'm coming." Happy pounded into the woman on all fours beneath him and suppressed the urge to tell her to shut the fuck up. Maybe he would've bought it if he hadn't heard her saying the same thing to Bobby the night before.

His ma had brought him up to be respectful of women but it was difficult when they had no respect for themselves. As a fully patched member for the last ten years, he had never really questioned the way things worked within the mc and he still loved the club more than anything. But recently he found himself looking at the members with families and wondering if he was missing out in some way. Shit he must be getting old. He was Happy Lowman, enforcer and hit man. He couldn't ever see himself as a family man.

He came with a grunt and throwing the condom in the bin, he slapped her ass. "Go get me a beer." He guessed these women had their uses.

Laying back on the bed, he lit a cigarette. Unlike many of his brothers, Happy preferred to take women somewhere private for sex and would use one of the dorms whenever possible.

"Hey bro, What you doing hiding away in here?"

"Tig, you just got in?"

"Yeah, that prospect you got in Tacoma might be an idiot, but he's hell of a mechanic." He watched as the blonde squeezed past him and handed Happy his beer.

"Hi Tig, is there anything I can do for you?"

"Nah I'm good doll. Maybe later." He turned and watched as she sashayed back towards the clubhouse. "Bit skinny for my tastes, Hap. Although from what I been hearing, bit too skinny for yours too."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Tig grinned. "Hear you been making moves on a hot little bartender."

"Aint been making moves on no one."

"Sure you aint." Tig laughed. "I don't blame ya, bro. I'm sure she'll open her legs eventually."

Happy felt his hand tighten into a fist. "Don't see it as any of your business, Tigger."

Tig shook his head. "Whatever, bro." he turned and headed back into the clubhouse. He couldn't see the point in chasing unavailable pussy when there was plenty on tap right here. He guessed Happy just fancied a challenge.

Nikki had managed to go five whole days without running into any bikers. There was a tiny part of her that hoped that Happy would forget all about her and she could go back to her uncomplicated life. Unfortunately the other treacherous part of her, forced her to look up expectantly when the bar doors opened and caused her heart to skip a beat every time she heard a Harley.

As she walked home from Charlie's after a hectic Friday night, the only thing on her mind was collapsing into bed. She was practically at her front door before she noticed Happy sitting on his bike outside. As her eyes met his, it took all her self control to stop herself from running over and throwing herself into his arms. There was something about this man, she wished she knew what it was, that had got under her skin.

When it came to relationships, Nikki's track record wasn't great. She didn't think she was gullible, but practically all the men she had been involved with had let her down in some way.

Happy was unlike any man she had ever met. She didn't think, for one moment that they had any sort of long term future together. She did know however that, despite everything she had said, they would be taking things further.

Happy watched as she walked towards her house. She looked tired, but when their eyes met and she smiled he could see the genuine pleasure in her eyes. She was actually pleased to see him.

He swung his leg over his bike and stalked over to her. "Hey Shorty." He gently laid his hand on her cheek and kissed her softly on the lips. "Wanna take a ride?"

"Happy, It's late and I'm tired. How about you come round in the morning and we'll take a ride then."

"It wont take long." He pulled her closer.

She swallowed at the feel of his hard body pressed close to hers. "Hap." She croaked. She was losing control of the situation.

"C'mon Shorty, get on."

She had no choice but to comply. Happy could be very persuasive when he wanted to be.

They rode through the town until he came to a stop at a diner overlooking a small lake.

He led her inside and sat her in a booth by the window. "Coffee or hot chocolate?"

Nikki shrugged. "You choose. You were going to anyway."

"Have I pissed you off?"

"No, but."

"But?"

She shook her head. How was she supposed to explain to him that she wasn't used to people making decisions for her. "Forget it, Hap."

"You gonna go all weird on me?"

She smiled at the waitress as she brought over their hot chocolates. "No, I'm just trying to wrap my head around the way you do things. I've never met anyone like you before."

"That's a good thing, Right?"

"Jury's out on that one, Hap."

They drank their chocolates in silence.

"Why are we here, Happy?"

"Second date." He grinned "Although I've been thinking that if we count me getting you a beer in the clubhouse or sharing ice cream at your place…"

Laughing, she raised her hand. "You really are incorrigible."

"Nah, just horny." He smirked. "And irresistible. You're just putting off the inevitable."

She rolled her eyes. He was right of course, they both knew it. Didn't make her any less scared though.

Happy reached across the table and touched her fingers. "I aint gonna hurt ya." He could see she was still scared of him. It was written all over her face.

"Yes you will, Happy, whether you mean to or not."

He brought her fingers up to his lips and kissed them softly. "You gonna take a chance?"

"You're not going to give up till I do, are you?"

"You got that right, Shorty."

To Nikki's surprise he took her straight home. She climbed off the back of the bike and kissed him chastely on the lips. "Thanks for the chocolate."

Happy deepened the kiss, only pulling away when he felt her stiffen. "Relax, little girl, I told you before I aint forcing myself on you. I want you to want me." He ran his fingers through her hair. It was soft and thick. Not like the thin, brittle, over dyed hair of the women that hung around the clubhouse. "I dunno why. But you have grown on me and I think I've grown on you."

Nikki looked at the floor, a small smile played on her lips. "So when are we going on our third date?"


	11. Chapter 11

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRD

Happy walked through the nearly empty clubhouse towards the chapel where his president was waiting. "Lee, you wanted to see me?" He sat in his usual seat and waited for Lee to speak.

Got a job for ya Hap. It aint gonna be pleasant."

Happy shrugged. Unpleasant jobs were his speciality. "What d'ya need."

"There was an ambush last night on the Canadian border. Three nomads were hit, two didn't make it and Quinn… Well, lets just say he aint gonna be riding for a few weeks." Lee frowned. "Whoever did this knew they were carrying the AK's and knew the route they were taking."

"Who do you need me to talk to?"

Lee smirked. Happy had a particular way of talking to people. "It's looking a lot like the information came from inside, probably a nomad or maybe from over the border. We aint got a lot to go on, just that they were white, organized and well armed. Could be a separatist group."

Happy stood up and patted Lee on the shoulder. "I'll head up north in the morning, see what I can find out. I'm guessing this stays between us till we know what's going on."

Lee nodded. "I want you to keep this discrete. No colours."

Happy turned and marched towards the exit. He had stuff to organize before he left. He had no idea exactly where he was going or how long he would be gone. He never questioned his orders, just went where he was sent and did as he was told. Anything else going on in his life would be put on the back burner. His club would always come first.

Yet again Nikki caught herself checking her phone. She hated herself for doing it. But she wanted to see him again. More that she cared to admit.

It hadn't been too bad for the first few days. He didn't strike her as the needy type. However, after over a week with still no word she was starting to get a little bit pissed. She got that he was probably busy, but how long does it take to pick up the phone. Obviously all that talk about wanting her was bullshit.

Now though, she was actually starting to get concerned. It had been a whole month and according to Honey, who'd had a few dancing gigs at the clubhouse, Happy hadn't been around and no one seemed to know where he'd gone, or if they did, they weren't saying.

She should have gone with her first instinct and stayed well away from him, although he'd never really given her any choice.

She hated working the afternoon shift. The daytime clientele were creepy and the dancers had definitely seen better days. With only a few minutes until the end of her shift she wiped down the bar and restocked the shelves ready for the evening rush. A blast of cold air told her the door had opened, she turned and found herself staring into those now familiar dark eyes. "Happy, shit." He looked terrible. There were dark shadows under his eyes and his face was etched with pain. "Oh my god, you're limping." She hurried over to him and slipped her arm round his waist.

"Aint nothing." He growled but allowed her to take his weight as they made their way slowly to the bar.

"I suppose I'd be wasting my time if I asked what happened." She slipped back behind the bar and poured him a large jack.

"Nothing for you to get bent outta shape over." He swallowed the amber liquid. "Piece of shit thought he could get the better of me."

"Happy…"

"Not up for discussion, sweetheart." He gave her a tiny smile. This is why he had never wanted to take an old lady. Seeing the concern on her face stirred emotions he didn't even know he had. "Thought we could go on that third date."

"Hap. You don't really look up to going anywhere."

"Quiet night in, it is then." He turned to Charlie who was sitting at the end of the bar watching them intently. "She good to go?"

"Sure, get her out of here." Charlie sighed. He had grown fond of Nikki, in the short time she had been working there, and Happy was the last person he wanted to see her get involved with. "See you tomorrow, Nik."

Nikki had been right when she said he wasn't up to a night out. He was exhausted and the stab wound in his thigh was hurting like a bitch. He led her to his bike, grunting with pain as he swung his leg over.

"Hap?" He turned at her feather light touch.

"You got that look on your face again." He scowled. "Told ya. I'm okay."

"Sure you are." She climbed on behind him, wrapped her arms around him and rested her cheek against his back. She really had missed him.

After only ten minutes he pulled up outside a small apartment block and, ignoring her raised eyebrow led her inside.

"Nice place." Nikki looked around her. "Never had you down as a neat freak."

Happy sank onto the sofa with a wince. "Don't like mess, is all." He closed his eyes. "Get me a beer, kitchen's through there."

Nikki grabbed a couple of bottles and joined him on the sofa. "You've got no food Hap, I'm gonna order a pizza, I haven't eaten since this morning and I'm starving." She pulled out her phone. "What d'ya want on it?"

"Whatever you're having." He opened his eyes. "There's DVD's on the shelf over there, why don't you pick out a movie."

She sighed, Happy must've been feeling worse than he was letting on if he was prepared for her to take the lead.

They settled down to Pulp Fiction and pizza, his arm round her shoulders as she snuggled onto his chest. "If you drip sauce on my shirt I'm gonna slap your ass."

"Is that a promise?"

He chuckled. "Maybe in the morning."

"So I'm staying the night am I?"

"Too tired to take you home." He pulled her closer and buried his face in her hair. He loved the way she smelled. "Aint too tired to fuck ya, though."

She raised her face to him and kissed him softly, moaning as he deepened the kiss, his hand fisting in her hair.

Happy pushed her back onto the sofa, he may have let her choose the pizza topping but now he was back in control. He was tired and in pain but he wasn't going to let that stop him. It would've been great to fuck her the way he really wanted to. But as he gazed at her, writhing underneath him, making love, because that's what this was, was fine. More than fine. It was fucking fantastic. He loved the way she felt under him. He loved how tight she was, how responsive she was. He loved…..

"Happy. Oh God, Happy." Nikki may not have jumped into bed with just anyone, but she was far from inexperienced and Happy was, by far, the best she'd ever had despite being exhausted and obviously in pain. As she felt her orgasm build, it occurred to her that when he was a hundred percent fit he'd be unsurpassable. It would be so easy to fall in love with him.

Happy's bedroom was as pristine as the lounge. Nikki laid facing him, her hand resting lightly on his chest, watching him as he slept. She couldn't take her eyes off him. Even in the darkened room with only the light from the streetlamp outside, she could see that he was beautiful. His body was perfect, slim and toned with ink decorating every inch of him. She really wanted to get a better look. Closing her eyes, Nikki let sleep claim her. She'd have to wait until the morning.

Happy stirred as the early morning sunlight filtered through the curtains. Never before had he invited a woman back to his place, much less allowed one to stay the night. Of course he'd never been with a woman like her before. Everything about her was different. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. It was everything from the way she smelled to her sense of humour. He pulled her onto his chest and ran his fingers through her hair. "Gotta say Shorty, you were worth the wait."

"Mmm, Wanna go again?"

He grinned as she straddled him. "Once you get a taste eh?"

He was right, of course and she wasn't going to deny it. She knew that they most probably didn't have a future together. So like a kid in a candy store, she was going to gorge herself while she had the chance.

They would probably have spent all day in bed if he had more than a couple of slices of cold pizza to eat.

"C'mon Hap, I'm hungry, I get cranky if I don't eat."

"Fine, jeez." He swung his legs out of bed, frowning as he noticed that the dressing on his thigh needed changing. At some point last night, the wound had opened up again.

Nikki suppressed a gasp as he pulled off the dressing, revealing a deep knife wound in his thigh. "Oh my god Hap, I thought you said it was nothing." She looked around. "You got a first aid kit."

"Bathroom." There was no point in lying to her. She could see how nasty it was and if she was going to stick around she needed to know how to patch him up.

Woah! Where did that come from? Why would he want her to stick around? Happy Lowman didn't do old ladies. Ever. Yet as he watched her redress the wound, her bottom lip sticking out as she concentrated on her task, he knew he wasn't going to give her up any time soon.


	12. Chapter 12

I don't own sons of anarchy

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

Happy sat at the kitchen counter and watched as she cooked them bacon and eggs. She had taken pity on him after seeing his leg wound, and walked to the small seven-eleven a couple of streets away. Although he wasn't going to tell her, he was grateful to her for insisting that he rested.

His mission had been successful and he had managed to find out that the rat was from the Winnipeg charter. As soon as the guy had realised that Happy was on to him, he had bolted and it had taken over a week to track him down. Happy would've preferred a quick clean kill. He knew that rats must die, but the guy had been a brother and he should have accepted his fate like a man. He hadn't though and he had fought right until the bitter end, refusing to accept the inevitable. He shifted on the stool, trying to ease his, still aching, muscles. Spending the night in a comfortable bed for the first time in a month had helped and in a couple of days he'd be back to his old self again.

It wasn't the first time he'd been injured and it wouldn't be the last. As Happy watched Nikki flit around his kitchen, he wondered if it was fair on her to keep her around. She turned and smiled at him, her pretty blue eyes sparkling and he suppressed a sigh. Fair or not, he wasn't letting her go.

"You okay?" She put a plate in front of him and sat on the stool next to him.

"I'm fine." He turned to his food. "Thanks for this."

Nikki raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. She knew that this was as close as he would get to admitting his weakness. Resisting the urge to wrap her arms around him she started to eat.

"The person who stabbed you?" She left the rest of the sentence unsaid and he reached over and touched her hand.

"I dunno where you an' me are going here, but if you are gonna stick around, you gotta accept the shit I do an' the risks I take. I'm always gonna do whatever the club asks an' there's always a chance I aint coming back." He looked deep into her eyes. "Can you do that?"

"Truthfully, Hap I don't know. I'd love to be able to say yes, but this is all new to me." She squeezed his hand. "I like you and I kinda wish I didn't. How about you try not to get killed and I'll try not to freak out when you come home bleeding."

Happy kissed her fingers. "You got a deal Shorty."

They ate the rest of their breakfast in silence before heading back to the bedroom. Nikki couldn't hide the grin as he pulled off his wife beater and boxers before climbing back into bed.

"Like what you see, Shorty?"

"Hap, you have no idea." She pulled off the tee shirt she'd borrowed and slipping out of her jeans, she climbed in next to him. Sitting crossed legged, Indian style, she began to examine his ink, her fingers tracing the huge snake on his chest before running her hand along the text that ran across his collar bone. "I live, I die, I kill for my family. Wow, that's deep." Her hands started to work their way back down his torso, stopping briefly at the cluster of smiley faces on his abdomen. There was no need to ask what they represented. Shit, what was she getting her self into?

Happy frowned at the expression on her face. "Stop thinking so much." He raised himself onto his elbows. "How 'bout to climb on board an' I'll help you take your mind off things."

"Sounds like a plan." She straddled him and with both hands on his shoulders pushed him back onto the pillows. "Why don't you lay back and let nurse Nikki take care of you."

As they laid against the pillows sharing a post coital joint, Happy couldn't stop the stupid grin from spreading all over his face. Kozic couldn't have been more wrong. She was one horny bitch. She looked over at him. "What?"

"Just thinking of something Koz said."

"Gonna share?"

"Nope." He took the joint from her. "Tell me about yourself."

"Not much to tell. I'm a thirty one year old divorced university dropout from Boston. According to my mother, I never stick at anything. As soon as the going gets tough, I bail." She gave a rueful grin. "She's probably got a point. Her and dad have been married for well over forty years, they're both teachers with long illustrious careers. I've got two brothers and a sister all of which have managed to stay married, have kids and hold down good jobs."

"You not close to your family?"

She shook her head. "I love them and I'm sure they love me. But they cant hide those looks of disappointment when they see me. What about you? You got any family? Apart from the club that is."

"Just my ma. My old man took off as soon as she got knocked up."

"Wow that's rough."

He shrugged. "Weren't so bad. There was always food on the table and a roof over our heads." He chuckled. "She's getting old now, but she'd still tan my hide if I pissed her off."

He frowned as she started to climb out of bed. "Hey where you going?"

"I'm gonna have to head off home, my shift starts in a couple of hours. I'm working the day shift all week."

"Call in sick."

"Can't." She shook her head and started to get dressed.

With a sigh, Happy got out of bed and started hunting around for his clothes.

"Hap, what are you doing?"

"You're gonna need a ride."

With her hands flat on his chest she pushed him back to the bed. "It's okay, I'll get a cab. You need to rest and if Honey sees me getting off your bike, I'll never hear the last of it."

"You aint gonna tell her 'bout you an' me?"

"Wasn't planning on it."

"You ashamed of me?"

"God no." She sank back on the bed and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm trying to wrap my head around." She hesitated. "Well this. You and me. I just need a little time to get used to the idea. And the last thing I need is people like Honey butting in."

"Does that include Kozic?"

She nodded. "Do you mind."

"Nah, that fucker gossips more than an old woman. You wanna keep whatever this is under wraps, that's fine by me."

He laid back and watched her as she dressed. "You coming back here after your shift?"

"Sure, I'll bring food."

"Good girl."

She bent and kissed him softly on the lips. "See you later, Hap."

"See ya Shorty."

Happy closed his eyes. She was a smart bitch. Keeping things quiet was a sensible idea. Neither of them knew where this thing they had was going. They were going to need a little time to figure things out.

Nikki walked outside into the warm spring air. She decided against calling a cab. The walk would help her to clear her head. Happy was dangerous. He was a killer. He would put her aside in an instant for his club, not to mention those skanks that frequented the clubhouse. She knew how they threw themselves at him. He would cheat on her, she knew. Shit, she should ditch him right now. She grinned and shook her head. Who was she kidding. Her mother might think she was a quitter, but when you find a man like Happy, you hang on in there till the bitter end.


	13. Chapter 13

I don't own sons of anarchy

OUT

Nikki dropped the last of the boxes in the middle of the lounge with a sigh of relief.

Her new apartment was only a couple of streets away from Happy. Close enough to not have to drive, but far enough away to get them both the space they needed.

She was surprised how easy their relationship was turning out to be. Happy asked very little of her and wasn't the sexist pig she'd imagined he would be. In fact the only time they argued was over her flat refusal to have anything with his club, and even that wasn't much of an issue. She was happy for him to spend as much time as he wanted with his brothers, and never complained when he was gone for days on end on club business. But her relationship was with him, not his brothers.

Happy parked his bike outside her new apartment. When she'd talked about moving out of Honey's house, he had been worried she was hinting that she wanted to move in with him. Things were going well between them. Really well. But he wasn't ready to take that huge next step.

He gave a rueful smile. He should've known her better than that. Nikki enjoyed her independence too much.

It had been four months since they had first got together and their relationship was going better than he'd ever thought it would. She was easy going and good company, not to mention horny as hell. In fact the only time she pissed him off was when she refused to come with him to parties and club events. He would have loved to show her off to his brothers, but it was difficult to get too bent out of shape with her when she said that she only wanted to be with him.

He couldn't help the grin that spread over his face at the sight of her bent over a huge box in the living room, that fine ass of hers stuck in the air.

"Don't you dare slap my ass, Happy Lowman." Just one day it would be nice to be able to sneak up on her. He swore she had eyes in the back of her head.

Nikki grinned and turning round she wrapped his arms round his neck. "You gonna help me unpack?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not if you want to eat." She continued her rummaging. "How is it possible to lose plates?"

"You see. Writing on the boxes doesn't mean you have OCD."

"Okay, you win." She rolled her eyes. "You could try being wrong for once."

"Nah, aint gonna happen." He rummaged through a second box, pulling out the plates with a look of triumph. "Okay, I've found plates, so you better get that fine ass into the kitchen an' get your man some food."

Nikki laughed and handed him the keys to her jeep. " Got no food. There's a Chinese place just down the road. I'll have crispy duck, seaweed and fried rice." Happy gave her his best scowl which had absolutely no effect on her at all. Rolling his eyes, he pocketed the keys. "I suppose it would be too much to ask if you're paying for this?"

"I'll make it up to you, I promise." Standing on tiptoes she reached up and kissed him on the cheek. Happy's hand found it's way round the back of her neck and he brought his lips forcefully down on hers. "Oh you'll make it up to me, you can be sure of that."

Nikki looked around the room as they sat on the floor to eat. So far all she had was a mattress and a few basics. She'd never lived in an unfurnished apartment before.

"I need so much stuff."

"Before you ask. I aint coming shopping with ya."

"Haaap." She whined. Using her best puppy dog expression, which, Happy had to admit, was more successful than his scowl. He could feel himself starting to cave.

"I'll do you a deal. You come to the party on Friday night, and I'll come shopping with you on Saturday."

"Not fair Hap."

"Your choice sweetheart." He grinned. She was going to sulk. He could see it coming. It wasn't something she did very often and when she did it was more cute than annoying. Shit Happy Lowman did not use expressions like cute.

"You can sulk all you like darlin' I aint caving on this one. All I'm asking is that you come to one party."

Nikki put down her fork. "It's not just a party. Those guys are scary."

"Darling, you're fucking the scariest son there is. The rest of them are just a bunch of pussies."

"If I do come, promise me you wont abandon me in there."

"Does that mean you'll come?"

"If I hate it, will you take me home?"

Happy laid his fork on the plate. "I swear I will stay at your side all night and we will leave whenever you like, even it makes me look like a complete pussy in front of my brothers."

"You really want me there that much?"

"You're my girl an' I wanna show you off. I'm sick of hiding you away." He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "It's about time you an' me went public."

Nikki knew he was right. When they had agreed to keep their relationship under wraps, they had thought that it would just be for a short time. But the longer it went on, the harder it was to come out and tell everyone. For Nikki, staying away from the club meant she could pretend they were just a regular couple. She knew it was stupid, Happy was a son, through and through.

She sighed, the club still scared her as much as it always did. One way or another it was going to take him away from her, and there was nothing she could do about it.

"Okay, I'll come."

"Good girl."

Friday night found her staring at her reflection, trying to decided whether she should be showing more flesh. "Hap?"

"You're gonna ask whether your ass looks big in those jeans aint ya?"

"Well I wasn't going to. Why does It?"

Happy rolled his eyes and pulled her away from the mirror. "You look great. Stop worrying, everyone's gonna love you."

"But…"

He silenced her with a kiss. "It's just a regular Friday night, nothing special. You'll be fine. C'mon, the guys will be wondering where I've got to."

Nikki took a deep breath and followed him outside to his bike.

Happy felt her hand tighten its grip on his as they walked through the clubhouse doors. "Relax. They don't bite." He pushed his way through the crowd to where Kozic stood, leaning against the bar talking to Lee.

Kozic grinned. "Happy! You sneaky fucker. How long has this been going on?" He planted a kiss on Nikki's cheek. "Hey darlin', how long has that big bastard been keeping you secret?"

Nikki smiled. "Hi Koz. Hap's been nagging me to come for ages."

She took the beer that he offered her. "I've never been much of a party animal."

Happy slung his arm around her shoulders. "Darling, this is Lee, my prez."

"Hi Lee, pleased to meet you." She smiled demurely. Happy grinned proudly. "Wanna meet some of the other guys?"

"Okay." She allowed him to lead her across the clubhouse to a group of sons playing pool.

"Fuck Hap. You finally got yourself an old lady?" The son that Happy had called Bully sauntered over. Nikki caught herself shrinking closer to Happy's side. He slipped a protective arm around her and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "It's all cool Shorty. Relax."

She painted a smile on her face as Happy introduced her to his brothers.

Happy watched her closely, he could see she was nervous and when he touched her, he could feel the tension running through her body.

"You're really hating this aint you?"

"I'm scared I'm gonna do something wrong and it'll reflect badly on you."

He cupped her face and kissed her gently. "You're doing just fine. How 'bout we have one more drink, then I'll take you home." For the first time all night, the smile she gave him was genuine.

"That would be great." She slipped her hand into his. "Maybe it'll be easier next time."


	14. Chapter 14

I don't own sons of anarchy

SHOPPING

Nikki had to bite the inside of her cheeks to stop herself from laughing out loud. She may have felt out of place in his clubhouse but it paled into insignificance at the sight of Happy standing in the middle of the soft furnishing department laden down with bags. The last time she'd seen an expression like that on his face, was just before he'd blown the face off a Nazi.

The day hadn't started out too bad. After borrowing one of the club's vans they had made their way to a second hand furniture store where, with the minimum of fuss she'd picked out a sofa and some bedroom furniture.

Maybe she should have realised then, that things wouldn't necessarily go smoothly when touching the small of his back, she felt a familiar bulge.

"Hap." She hissed. "Why are you packing?"

"Never know when you might need to kill some fucker."

She rolled her eyes. You could take the man out of the club, but you could never take the club out of the man.

There had been a point, in the electrical store, when the jumped up little shit in a suit had told Happy to stop playing with the stereos, that his hand had actually reached behind him.

He scowled as she kicked him on the ankle. "I wasn't gonna kill him."

"How about you go and wait outside."

"Aint leaving you on your own with him. Fucker gives me the creeps."

"Hap, he's gonna sell me a TV, not jump me." She pushed him gently towards the door. "Just wait outside, please."

He complied, but she could see that he was getting pissed off. But right now she'd rather have him pissed with her than pulling a gun on the salesman. Happy had trouble dealing with civilians at the best of times. Maybe she should have listened to the little voice telling her he'd had enough and they should call it a day.

Disregarding her own good advice, as soon as the van was loaded, she directed him to the large department store in the middle of town.

She had to hand it to him, he hadn't bitched as he trailed around after her as she picked out stuff for her kitchen and bathroom. Yes his jaw was clenched and he'd developed a tic in his cheek. But he hadn't complained.

Everyone though has a breaking point, and for Happy it was cushions.

"You seriously expect me to help you pick out cushions?"

"I just want your input. Is that so unreasonable?"

"You wanna pick out a bike, or know which gun is best. I'm your man. But cushions. Fuck. Do I look gay to you?"

* * *

Happy was reaching the end of his rope. He should have never agreed to this. The furniture store hadn't been too bad and he'd been impressed with her good taste as she picked out a worn but still serviceable chesterfield style, leather sofa and unfussy bedroom furniture.

Things had rapidly gone downhill once they hit the electrical store. He had felt his hands ball up into fists as the greasy little fuck started pushing up on his girl, and when he'd actually had the nerve to tell him to stop touching the stock, he'd wanted to put a bullet through the little shit's kneecaps.

Even as he followed her around that fucking department store as she picked out kitchen stuff he managed to keep a lid on his temper. But as she held up two, apparently identical cushions and asked him which she should get, he snapped. He grabbed the cushions and marched to the counter.

"Just buy both of them. Fuck Nikki, if I didn't lo….Shit, just pay for the cushions and lets get home."

Nikki sat in the passenger seat and gazed out of the window, a tiny smile, playing on her lips. She knew what he'd nearly said, she also knew that she couldn't draw attention to it. Her smile grew wider. He loved her. Wild horses wouldn't get him to admit it.

Although if he could be persuaded to buy cushions, maybe anything is possible.

She turned her head and studied his profile and he scowled. "Not one word Shorty."

She shook her head and stifled a laugh, love you too asshole.


	15. Chapter 15

I don't own sons of anarchy

MEETING MOTHER

Happy had always enjoyed visiting the Vegas charter. The girls that worked for the club were amongst the best you'd find anywhere, and as he was usually there in a 'professional' capacity he was always offered the cream of the crop as a 'thank you' for services provided.

This time though they just didn't seem quite as appealing. Somehow fake tans and surgically enhanced bodies that had been fucked by every other brother in the building really didn't do it for him any more.

There was something else, something he hadn't reckoned with. Guilt.

It had only been a blow job, they hadn't spoken and certainly hadn't kissed. Yet as he looked down at that bottle blonde head. The feeling had struck him like a bullet in the chest. He pushed her away from him and ignoring her protests had waddled to the bathroom to finish the job.

Even when he stopped off at Charming after visiting his ma on his way back, he had a few drinks with his brothers before heading to bed, alone. Of course this didn't go unnoticed by the guys.

Tig in particular was shocked to the core. Happy always had women throwing themselves at him and in all the years he had known him he had never seen him go to bed alone. He shook his head. Maybe his brother was sick. Or worse, gay.

Bobby and Chibs had roared with laughter when he tried to share his concerns with them and tried to reassure him that sleeping alone, even in a clubhouse full of willing women didn't make you gay.

"Hap." Tig kicked his foot. "You asleep?"

"I was. What the fuck d'ya want?"

"What you doing on your own?"

"What? Fuck Tig. You actually woke me up cos I aint got a bitch in here?"

"Thought you might be ill." Tig toed the floor, sheepishly. "You sure you aint caught a dose?"

Now Happy was getting seriously pissed. "If you aint outta my room in the next ten seconds, you wont be fucking anyone either for the next six months." He started to sit up and Tig backed out of the room with his hand raised. "Okay I'm going. No need to be so fucking touchy, man."

"GET OUT!"

In the past he would've spent a few days in Charming but as soon as Happy woke up, he was out and heading for his bike.

"Leaving so soon?"

Happy frowned. He loved Tig. He was probably one of his closest friends. But right now he was the last person he wanted to see.

"Yeah wanna get back before nightfall." He put on his helmet, all the while trying to avoid those piercing blue eyes.

Tig grinned. "You got a woman back there?"

Happy ignored him.

"I'm right aint I? C'mon Hap stop being so cagey. Do I know her? Shit I do don't I?"

Happy fired up his bike and revved the engine, drowning out any possibility of further conversation. Tig threw back his head and roared with laughter as Happy pulled off the lot. "You know I'm gonna find out who she is. You can't keep secrets from ol' Tigger."

When he pulled up outside Nikki's apartment block twelve hours later, all he wanted was a hot shower and to fuck her senseless. He climbed off his bike and stretched until his joints popped.

"Hap!" Nikki threw herself into his arms. She had planned on being pissed with him. He'd been away for a whole week and all she'd had was one phone call and a couple of texts. But the second his lips came crashing down on hers, all was forgiven.

As they laid in each others arms, bathed in sweat and still breathing heavily, Happy wondered what it was about this little girl that had got him changing the habits of a lifetime. They had never discussed what happened on a run or when he was away for long periods but he guessed that there was a real risk that if she caught him cheating, he'd lose her.

"I missed you." She snuggled closer. "I worry when you're away."

"I know you do." He ran his fingers through her hair. "I've been thinking. How about you take some time off work, and we go away for a few days?"

"That would be great. Where were you thinking?"

"We could take a couple of days travelling down to Oakland. Go see my ma. Then maybe head over to Sisco or Charming." He kissed the top of her head. "So, what d'ya think?"

"You want me to meet your mom?"

"Yeah. Why, is that a problem?"

"No. Wow. You do know that this is a big deal, right?"

"I know. Shit I aint ever took a girl to meet my ma before." He pulled her closer. "Mind you, aint ever had a girl like you before."

It was another two weeks before they were ready to leave. Happy had work at the garage and Nikki had to wait until Charlie could arrange cover, but finally they were good to go.

Nikki was a little apprehensive about taking such a long trip on his bike. She loved riding with him, but they'd never travelled very far. Happy had reassured her though that they could take regular breaks. This was a vacation after all. She was also more than a little nervous about meeting his mom.

Happy grinned as she climbed onto the back of his bike. "You got that look on your face again Shorty. I told ya, ma's gonna love ya."

"I'm fine Hap." She wrapped her arms round his waist. "Let's go."

The journey had been surprisingly relaxing, but she was still relieved when they rode into Oakland and pulled up outside his mom's house.

Sofia Lowman ran down the garden path and pulled her son into a hug, before turning her attention to Nikki. She hugged her warmly and kissed her on the cheek. "Hi darling, Happy wasn't exaggerating, you are lovely. Please come in." She took her arm and led her into her house.

"Your house is lovely. I don't know why, but I was expecting it to be more minimalist." Nikki gazed around the spotless but cluttered lounge. Every available surface was crammed with ornaments and photos.

"Oh no darling, I'm nothing like Happy, I don't know how he can live in that soulless place of his." She headed into the kitchen. "Are you kids hungry?"

Happy rolled his eyes. "Ma.."

"I know, I know. You're not a kid." She sighed. "You'll always be my little boy."

"Ma!"

Nikki giggled and he nudged her sharply in the ribs. "Sorry Hap." Grinning she stood and wandered into the kitchen. Can I help with anything Ms Lowman."

"Oh call me Sofia, please. And no, I'm fine." She handed her a mug of coffee. "Why don't you sit here and tell me all about yourself. That boy of mine doesn't give much away."

"There's not much to tell really." She sipped her coffee and watched as Sofia made sandwiches and threw together a salad. She was a striking woman, tall and slender with dark eyes and although her hair was more grey than black and there were fine lines around her eyes, it was easy to see where Happy got his good looks from.

"Oh I can see why Happy is so taken with you." She smiled, showing perfect, white teeth. "You play things close to your chest, just like him."

"Stop trying to interrogate my girl." Happy stood behind Nikki and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her lightly on the neck. Sofia rolled her eyes and shaking her head placed a huge plate of sandwiches and a chocolate cake in front of them. "Eat." They sat at the kitchen table, eating sandwiches and talking about inconsequential stuff.

Nikki wasn't sure how much Sofia knew about Happy's roll in the club. She guessed it wasn't much, other than he was a member.

"This cake is great." She took a bite out of her slice. "You'll have to give me the recipe."

Happy nearly choked. "You bake? Sweetheart, you burn water."

Nikki pouted. "It might happen."

"Sure it could, an' I'll take up knitting."

Nikki had expected them to be staying at his mom's but he explained that there was no way that was going to happen. He loved his early morning fucks too much and she made way too much noise. So as darkness began to fall they said their goodbyes and promising to come by again before they headed back up north, climbed on his bike and headed out of town towards Charming.

She wasn't sure how she felt about spending time there but Happy was quite insistent so she only put up a token objection. Nikki figured he must have his reasons.

It was getting late as they pulled onto the TM lot. Nikki looked around and was relieved that there was only a couple of bikes parked there.

"We can stay here for a couple of nights." He grinned at her expression. "Don't look so worried, the dorms here are always clean and it's a small charter so it's nearly always quiet in the week." With his hand against the small of her back, he led her to the clubhouse.

Tig was getting bored. Happy had called earlier, saying he was on his way and he had volunteered to keep the clubhouse open till he got there. The only means of entertainment was Juice and the prospect and annoyingly, they were both staying out of his way. He turned at the sound of the door opening. "About fucking time." His eyes widened at the sight of Nikki peeking out from behind Happy. "Well, fuck. That explains why you avoided the croweaters last time you were here." He slid off his stool and stalked over to them and planted a kiss on her cheek. "I guess you caved then, doll."

Happy raised a questioning eyebrow and she gave a tiny shake of her head. "I really don't want to have this conversation." She walked over to the bar with as much dignity as she could muster, while Tig explained in graphic detail how she'd confessed to wanting to fuck Happy.

"I always knew you wanted me." Happy kissed her neck.

"Modest as ever, Hap." She turned and slipping her arms under his cut she rested her head against his chest.

"You tired babe?"

"A bit."

Happy nodded and taking her hand, he led her to their dorm. "I'm gonna go an' have a beer with Tig. I'll lock the door, so you wont be disturbed."

She laid back and was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.


	16. Chapter 16

I don't own sons of anarchy

CHARMING

Nikki stretched like a cat and, rolling over, rested her head on happy's chest. He stirred and opened his eyes. "Mornin' Shorty." He pulled her on top of him and kissed the top of her head. It was yet another thing about her that set her apart from all the others. With other women he always took control, in fact generally he'd preferred them on all fours. But with Nikki, he loved her to set the pace. The girl was insatiable, she couldn't get enough of him. Happy grinned, who was he to deny her.

"Gonna tell me what you're grinning at, Lowman?"

"Nope. Now I suggest, woman that you get on and ride me."

She sighed. "If I must."

"Trust me, you must."

When half an hour later she padded through the apparently, empty clubhouse in search of coffee, she couldn't stop the smile from playing across her lips.

"You're looking smug, doll. I'm guessing that's got something to do with all that noise you were making a while back." Tig Leaned on the kitchen doorframe with two mugs of coffee in his hand.

"Shit Tig, you trying to give me a heart attack?" She took the offered mug. "I wasn't that loud was I?" She blushed at the expression on his face. "Oh god, I was, wasn't I?"

Tig roared with laughter. "Doll, they could probably could hear you in Lodi." He looked around. "Hap still in the sack?"

"Yeah." She smiled. "Guess I wore him out."

Tig grinned and grabbed her hand. "C'mon doll. Sit with me." He led her back into the clubhouse to a tatty old sofa in the corner of the room.

"Tig, I…."

"It's all cool doll. Bobby will be here soon with muffins. You don't wanna miss them." He patted the seat next to him. "Sit." Nikki sat. "So, you an' Happy?"

Nikki shook her head. "Ask him."

"Yeah cos he's such a chatty fucker. Can't shut him up, all he wants to do is talk about his private life."

"If Happy doesn't want to discuss his private life, then neither do I."

Tig nodded approvingly and Nikki got the feeling she'd passed some sort of test.

She stood up. "I'm going back to our room. I don't really like being out here without Happy."

Tig didn't argue with her. He knew it was difficult for women in her position. She was a stranger here, so until Happy introduced her to everyone as his girl she was vulnerable.

Happy was still asleep so she climbed back into bed with him, pressing her cold feet against his legs.

"Hey." He jerked away from her. "Do that again an' I'll slap your ass." Nikki giggled and moved her feet up to his buttocks.

"Right! That's it." He twisted round and grabbed her. She squealed as he started tickling her.

"Nooo Hap." She tried to wriggle out of his grasp until his tickles turned to caresses and he started kiss and nibble at her neck. As usual, within seconds she was putty in his hands. No one pushed her buttons like Happy.

When she walked back into the clubhouse, this time with her hand in Happy's, she realised that she was going to be centre of attention for a while. Tig had been joined by a chubby biker with a mass of corkscrew curls and the Scottish guy that she'd seen at the diner a lifetime ago.

Happy let go of her hand and warmly hugged the new guys. "Good to see you brothers." He turned back to Nikki and held out his hand to her. "This is my girl, Nikki."

"Hi darling, I'm Bobby. Welcome to the family." Bobby pulled her into a warm embrace.

"Thankyou." She glanced over at Happy who gave her the tiniest of nods, and returned the hug.

"See Tig, I told you Hap wasn't gay." The Scottish guy chuckled. "Nice to meet you, hen. I'm Chibs."

"Hi Chibs." Nikki turned to Tig. "Why would you think Hap was gay?"

"Long story, doll." Tig slung his arm round her shoulders. "Have a muffin."

Happy leaned on the bar and watched his girl as she laughed and joked with his brothers. He had guessed that she would be more relaxed with the redwood charter, it was smaller and more family oriented than Tacoma. He was surprised, however with how comfortable she was around Tig. He wondered briefly if he should be worried. But as her eyes met his, he quickly dismissed the idea.

She loved him. The realization hit him like a bolt out of the blue. It was written all over her face. He stalked over to her. "Wanna take a ride?"

"Sure." She followed him outside, slipping her hand into his.

"Well, well, now I know why my guys are still in there instead of out here getting some work done." They turned as tall attractive woman strutted towards them. Happy gave her a tiny smile. "Hi Gemma."

"Hap." Gemma barely acknowledged him. All her attention was on Nikki "And who are you darling?"

"Gemma, this is Nikki." He slipped his arm round her waist. "Nik babe, this is Gemma. She's the queen around here. Anything you need to know, she'll put you right."

"Hi Gemma." Nikki suppressed the urge to curtsey. "Me an' Hap were just going for a ride, maybe I'll see you later."

"Oh you will, I guarantee it."

"Should I be scared?" she hissed as Happy marched them to his bike.

"Probably."

"Good, cos I'm shitting myself."

They had only been riding for a short while when Happy pulled over at a picnic area overlooking a children's play area. They dismounted and he led her to a bench in the shade of a redwood.

"Any particular reason why you brought me here?"

"Not really." He fell silent, watching the children playing on the swings.

"Hap?" Nikki could feel her self starting to freak out. Had she done something wrong? Was he pissed? "Hap, say something. Please."

"You love me?"

"What?"

"Aint planning on repeating myself."

"Yes."

He fell silent again. "Hap?"

"There's a tattooist in Oakland. Got a lot of my work done there. We'll sort out a design and get you inked on the way back to Tacoma."

"Inked?"

"Wanna put my mark on you. Make you my old lady."

Nikki took a deep breath. "I love you Happy." She turned and looked him in the eyes. "No."


	17. Chapter 17

I don't own sons of anarchy

NO

"Oh shit! Hap." Nikki ran after him as he stalked to his bike without a backwards glance. He grabbed her helmet and thrust it into her hands.

"Get on." As soon as she was seated he pulled off, without even checking whether she was ready or not. Happy sped back to the clubhouse, throwing the bike around corners and jumping red lights. Nikki tucked her head into his back and closed her eyes, terrified that he was going to kill them both.

He pulled into the Teller Morrow lot but made no attempt to dismount. "Get your shit together. Be ready to leave as soon as I get back."

"Happy, I…" Ignoring her, he revved the engine and pulled off the lot, leaving her standing in a cloud of dust.

Tig and Gemma stood in the office doorway, his arm slung around her shoulders. "Well looks like the honeymoon's over." Tig started to walk towards Nikki.

"No Tiggy. This is me." Gemma pushed past him. "This needs a woman's touch."

Nikki turned as Gemma touched her arm. "Hey Honey, you an' Hap have a fight?"

"Not exactly."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No."

Gemma took her hand and led her to a picnic table. "Sit." Nikki sat. What was it with these people ordering her about. Fuck she wasn't a dog.

Gemma pulled a joint from her pocket and lighting it, she passed it to Nikki.

"If you haven't had a fight, why's Hap so pissed off with you?"

"He wants me to be his old lady."

"And you said no."

Nikki nodded.

"Gonna tell me why?"

"I don't want to be an old lady."

"Honey, I don't wanna interfere. But Happy aint the type to beg."

"I don't want him to beg." Nikki was getting pissed. "Gemma, please. This is between me and Hap. Right now he's pissed with me, but he'll get over it. I want to be with him, but I wont wear his mark."

Gemma frowned and took the joint from her. "So what, you one of those 'women's rights' bitches. All that 'I aint nobody's property' bullshit?"

"No, although we are in the twenty first century now. I just don't want to be an old lady because I don't want to be a part of the club."

"If you want to be with Happy you have to be a part of the club."

"No Gemma, I don't. I have no problem with Happy being a patch as long as it doesn't involve me." She looked at the women sitting next to her. "Your old man is the president, right?" Gemma nodded proudly. "He and my first husband were founding members and my son is vice president."

"And you work here in the garage."

"That's right."

"I guess you're a pretty big fish then."

"I guess I am."

"Pity it's such a tiny pond." Nikki was in full flow now. How dare Gemma interfere in her and Happy's business. "What life do you have outside of the club? Don't tell me it's none isn't it. Well guess what Gemma, there's a big wide world out there."

Gemma stood up, pointing her finger in Nikki's face. "You know nothing about me."

"And you know nothing about me. Unlike you, I don't define myself by what my man does. I love Happy. More than any man I've known and I would love to think that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together."

"Oh I doubt that's gonna happen. Cant see him putting up with a stuck up little piece like you." Gemma interrupted. She was furious now.

"If Hap doesn't want to be with me any more, I will be devastated but I will survive. I managed without him for over thirty years. I want him, I don't need him. And I certainly don't need you sticking your nose into my business." She turned on her heel and stormed into the clubhouse leaving Gemma standing open mouthed behind her.

"Well Gem, obviously the woman's touch went down well."

"Stuck up bitch is lucky I didn't slap her face off."

Tig chuckled. "Reckon you might've met your match. Did you really think Hap would take up with some timid little thing?"

Nikki stormed into the dorm, slamming the door behind her. She sat on the bed taking deep breaths and trying not to cry.

"Well doll, it aint even midday and you've already pissed off Happy and Gemma, wanna have a go at me as well?" Tig walked in without bothering to knock.

"Not now Tig." Nikki sniffed, furiously wiping away her tears.

"Hey, hey. C'mon doll, why don't ya tell Tigger all about it." He plonked himself down on the bed next to her and took her hand.

"I think I've just thrown the best thing that ever happened to me away. Hap wants to make me his old lady and I turned him down."

"Oh doll, why would you do that?" Tig wrapped his arms around her.

"I dunno, I freaked out. Oh shit Tig, what if he doesn't want me any more."

Tig patted her awkwardly on the back as she snivelled into his chest. "So you do want to be his old lady?"

"No, yes, I don't know."

"Well that was concise. You love him, right?"

"Yes."

"So what's the problem?"

"The club."

"Ah. Look, for what it's worth I don't think Hap will give you up. A blind man can see how much he cares about you. Fuck, the last time I saw him smile like he does at you, he was attaching electrodes to some assholes nipples."

"But.."

"Nah, nah. You listen to ol' Tigger. There are plenty of patches who's wives and girlfriends have nothing to do with the club. If you don't wanna wear his ink that's fine, although I actually think you'd make a great old lady." Tig kissed the top of her head. Hap'll calm down, you'll see."

Happy climbed off his bike and walked up his ma's garden path and let himself into her tiny, cluttered house.

"Happy!" Sofia hugged him warmly. "Where's Nikki."

Happy sank down onto the sofa. "I think we're done. Shit ma, reckon I read her all wrong."

"Oh no, what happened?"

"I asked her to be my old lady. She said no."

"Oh, why would she do that? From what I could see, the girl is completely besotted with you."

"Dunno, she said no. I got on my bike an' wound up here."

"Then I suggest, Happy Lowman, you get back on your bike and get your dumb ass back to Charming. You need to talk to her, the poor girl's probably in pieces."

"You're actually taking her side? Fuck ma, She turned me down. Ow!"

Sofia slapped him round the head. "Watch your language! Now you listen to me. If that girl turned you down she probably had a good reason. But I'm sure it's not because she doesn't love you." She bent and kissed the top of his head. "Do not throw this away."

Nikki opened her eyes as she felt the bed dip. She must've cried herself to sleep. "Hap?"

Happy laid down next to her and pulled her into his arms. "So no ink then." He kissed her gently on the temple. "What about a ring?"

Nikki raised herself onto her elbows and looked into his eyes. "Happy, I love you. Yes."


	18. Chapter 18

I don't own sons of anarchy

THE L WORD

Tig leaned on the bar, a skinny brunette hanging round his neck. He squeezed her ass. "Go get me a beer." He turned as Gemma and Clay walked in. "Gem, Clay." He took the offered beer and sauntered over to a table with his president and queen.

Gemma sniffed. "I see Happy's bike's in the lot. So I'm guessing he's making up with that snotty tart." Clay raised a questioning eyebrow and Tig laughed. "Hap's finally gone an' got himself a woman."

Gemma frowned. "Oh trust me he wont put up with her for long. Bitch thinks she's too good for the likes of us."

"Gem, you know I adore you, but you are totally wrong. Nikki has a good reason for being wary of the club."

"And are you gonna share that 'good reason?' Cos I for one would love to hear it."

"No Gem, I'm not. This has nothing to do with you, and with the greatest respect. You really need to butt out of her an' Hap's business."

Clay listened with interest to their exchange. "How 'bout you share it with your president."

"Sure, behind the chapel doors."

Gemma scowled and Tig smirked. Sometimes the queen needed reminding of her place.

Clay nodded but made no attempt to move. If his sergeant at arms was okay with Happy's girl, then so was he. "Gemma my love." He kissed his wife. "If Happy doesn't mind his girl not involving herself in the club then neither should you. I'm sure you have enough on your plate running mine and jax's lives to be getting involved in theirs."

"Are you implying that I'm controlling or something."

"I wouldn't dream of it, my sweet." He stood and took her hand. "How about I take you home and you can take control there." Gemma rolled her eyes and allowed him to pull her to her feet. "Later Tiggy."

"Later Gem. Love ya."

He took a swig of his beer and grinned as the sounds of Happy and Nikki making up permeated the empty clubhouse.

Nikki laid wrapped in Happy's arms. "I love you, Lowman."

"Good."

Nikki rolled her eyes. Happy loved her, she knew, but she doubted very much that he'd ever say it out loud. She didn't mind. He was committed to her and he was okay with her keeping her distance from the club. She didn't need words, they meant nothing. It was actions that counted.

Her stomach growled, the only thing she'd eaten all day was a muffin. "Hap, I'm starving."

"Okay Shorty, move that fine ass an' we'll go get some food." Happy pushed her off him and started to get dressed.

"We don't have to tell anyone do we?"

"Not if you don't want to." Happy touched her cheek. "This is about you an' me. Nobody else."

"Hap. I love you."

"Yeah, you said. You ready to roll?"

Nikki nodded and with her hand in his, they made their way through the clubhouse and out to his bike.

"Hey where you two going?" Tig was on his bike, about to head off home when they came outside.

"Gonna get some food. Wanna come?" Hap turned quickly to his girl. "You don't mind. Do ya?"

"Of course not." She grinned at Tig. "Come, please."

"Sure, where to?"

"Louie's" Nikki grinned. She didn't miss much about Charming. But she did miss Louie's tortellini.

"Louie's it is then." Tig waited for them to climb on Happy's bike then pulled away towards the finest Italian restaurant in California.

Louie greeted them all like old friends and ushered them to a table at the back where they wouldn't upset the other patrons.

Nikki rested her hand lightly on Happy's knee and he turned and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"Oh no. Don't start all that sloppy shit. I know you two have just made up, but please. I'm trying to eat here." He grinned. "So doll, ink or no ink?"

"No ink."

Happy scowled and Tig chuckled. "Chill, man. I aint getting into your shit. But after your little girl got into it with Gemma, she needed a shoulder. An' you know me, man. Broad shoulders."

"You an' Gemma?"

"No biggie, Hap. She just rubbed me up the wrong way, is all."

"You want me to have a word with Clay. Get her to back off?"

Nikki shook her head. "No need. We'll be gone soon, I'll just stay out of her crosshairs till then." Out of the corner of her eye she caught Happy and Tig exchange a glance, and again got the impression she had passed another test.

"It's a shame you decided against the ink, doll. You'd make helluva old lady."

Happy grinned. "She might not wear my ink, but at least she'll take my name."

"Hap! We agreed not to tell anyone." Nikki slapped his arm.

"Nah, 's all good Shorty. Tig wont say anything."

Tig grinned and put his hand over his heart. "I swear I wont say a word." His grin got wider. "As long as I get to be best man." Moving round the able he stood between them, and bending over he kissed both of them on the cheek. "Congratulations. Oh an' Hap. Do not fuck this up." He sat back down. "So when's the big day?"

"Shit Tigger. I only asked her an hour ago. As soon as we know, you'll know."

Nikki couldn't stop grinning. When her ex had proposed, it had been after a meal in an expensive restaurant on Valentine's day. He had actually got down on one knee and produced a platinum solitaire with a huge diamond. But Happy's casual offer of a ring was a million times more meaningful. Her ex told her he loved her every day, right until they split up, but actually knew nothing about her and the more he found out, the more disapproving he became.

Happy however never told her he loved her, but he knew everything. He didn't laugh at her when she cried while watching soppy movies or when he caught her dancing to cheesy pop songs. He knew that bourbon made her throw up but she drank it anyway. He knew she was scared of moths and that she didn't like kids. He didn't care when he came home unexpectedly and caught her cutting her toenails. Her grin got wider. That was love.

"I love you." She kissed him on the cheek.

"I know."

Tig roared with laughter. "How fucking romantic."


	19. Chapter 19

I don't own sons of anarchy

EXPLANATIONS

"Waiting for Happy?"

Nikki turned and came face to face with a huge grey haired man with piercing blue eyes. "Yeah he went off somewhere with Tig and Bobby." She noted his patch. "It's Clay, right?"

"That's right. Obviously my reputation precedes me." He sat next to her on the picnic tabled and looked out over to the office where his wife was currently working. "It seems you've made quite an impression in the short time you've been here."

Nikki blushed. "Yeah sorry about that. I didn't set out to disrespect Gemma, she just caught me at a bad time."

Clay chuckled. "Well I can't imagine Gemma was subtle. She tells me you don't want to be involved in the club."

"Is that going to be a problem? For Happy I mean."

"Not necessarily. Happy's okay with it. And you got Tig in your corner as well." He grinned. "If two of the most paranoid sons trust you, that's good enough for me. I am curious though. Tig said you had good reason to want to distance yourself from the club."

Nikki looked at the ground. "Maybe you should talk to him. Lets just say I'm under no illusion about what the sons do." She sighed. "And I'm under no illusion what Happy does. I love him, and everyone in the club has been really kind."

"There's a but coming, isn't there."

"I just don't think I'm cut out to be an old lady."

Clay pushed himself off the table. "For what it's worth, from what I've been told. I think you've got what it takes to make a great old lady." He patted her shoulder. "Take care, sweetheart."

Nikki watched as he walked back towards the office where she was sure Gemma would be bouncing up and down itching to know what had been said.

She wished it was easier to explain why she was so reluctant to get involved in the club when she was okay being with Happy. They killed people. He killed people. But it wasn't only that. Her mouth had a tendency to run away with her when she lost her temper and while this was okay when her and Happy were alone, she knew it would be unacceptable in a clubhouse. Maybe if they were in Charming. Despite her run in with Gemma, the guys here seemed more welcoming and a little less threatening than the Tacoma patches. Although in Tacoma they had all been polite whenever she'd seen them, she felt this was in deference to Happy and with the exception of Kozic they all made her feel like a second class citizen.

She slid off the table and headed inside to their dorm, and laying on the bed, she closed her eyes.

"I think you and me need to have a little chat."

Nikki opened her eyes as Gemma sat down on the bed. "I'm sure you do."

"I haven't come here to fight." Gemma held up her hand. "I just think that maybe we got off on the wrong foot."

"Clay sent you, didn't he?"

Gemma gave a rueful grin. "Let's just say he suggested that I may have misjudged you. I think you impressed him. So I was thinking maybe we could go for lunch. Hap and the guys wont be back till this afternoon, and I'm sure you don't really want to be hiding yourself away in here."

"Okay. One condition though. We don't discuss why I don't want to be an old lady."

"You got a deal. I've got a few bits of paperwork to sort out, so I'll meet you outside in half an hour."

With a sigh, Nikki dragged herself off the bed and started to search through her rucksack for something that was clean and not too creased. One had to make the effort when dining with royalty. Satisfied that her flannel shirt over one of Happy's wife beaters would have to do, she made her way out side, repeating the mantra. 'I will not run my mouth at Gemma' over and over in her head.

Clay watched as Gemma grabbed her bag ready to join Nikki outside. "Play nice."

"I will, I promise." She kissed him briefly on the lips and stepped outside into the California sunshine.

"So how long have you and Happy been together."

Nikki suppressed a sigh. And so it begins. They were sat on a bench overlooking a small duckpond, the same bench that she'd shared with Tig after that fateful day over eight months ago. "About six months."

"You live together."

"No."

Gemma gritted her teeth, this was like getting blood from a stone. "But he's serious about you, right?"

"Yeah."

"Jesus you talk even less than he does."

"I'm just not comfortable talking about me and Hap. I love him. He loves me. That's all you need to know."

Gemma nodded. "Look I know I promised, but I really don't get it. Why don't you want him to get you inked. Most women would give their right arm to be Happy's old lady."

Nikki felt jaw tighten and she took a huge breath, trying to keep a lid on her temper. "You really wanna know?"

"Wouldn't have asked if I didn't."

"You never asked me how we met. Maybe I should start with that." She took another deep breath. She had never discussed this with anyone other than Happy and Tig. "I was working in a diner just outside Charming when some guy being chased by Hap came in and held me at gunpoint." Nikki stared into the distance, her eyes glassy with unshed tears as she recalled that day. "I have never been so scared in my life, I really thought I was going to die."

"What happened."

"Happy shot him. It was horrible, his head just…" She closed her eyes. "He shot Happy. He always plays it down but, judging by the scar, it was pretty bad. I think that's what I have the biggest problem with. Hap, Tig. They were so blasé about it, like it was nothing. They're prepared to kill and die for the club." She sniffed and wiped away a stray tear. "Without question. Whenever I walk into a clubhouse and I see the guys in their cuts, I'm reminded that the man I love is a son, and that being a son will probably be the death of him."

Gemma smiled and took her hand. "The bullet he put in the guy in the diner wasn't for the club and neither was the bullet he took. They were for you. There's more to it than that though isn't there?"

"What if I fuck it up? I don't know the rules, how I'm supposed know how to behave? Every time I ask, Hap just tells me I'll be fine."

Gemma laughed. "I guess that was why he was so keen for you to visit Charming. Not a lot of family men in Tacoma, not a lot of old ladies to ask. It aint rocket science sweetheart, just support your man and support the club. It don't have to be your whole life." She looked at Nikki pointedly. "But Happy loves you and he needs to know that you'll be taken care of, should anything happen to him."

"I don't need taking care of."

"I know that sweetheart. But this isn't about you, it's about Happy. If he's gonna put his life on the line, he needs to be focussed, not worrying about the little Mrs back home."

"I never really looked at it like that. Shit Gemma, It must seem like I'm being a selfish bitch."

"It's not too late to change your mind. I don't think you appreciate what a big deal for Happy this is."

"He said he didn't mind."

"That's cos he loves you, sweetheart." Gemma stood and threw her coffee cup in the bin. "Just think about it."

They drove back to TM in silence. "Looks like the boys are back." Gemma backed her caddy into its spot. "We're having a barbeque at our place tomorrow afternoon. You an' Hap should come."

Happy and Tig were playing pool when Gemma and Nikki walked into the clubhouse. Nikki slipped her arms under Happy's cut and he kissed her forcefully, his teeth grazing her lips.

"Hey Shorty. Do I need to check for wounds."

"Funny. Hap. Actually it was very civilised. Gemma explained a few things to me."

"When you say explained…"

"I mean just that." She pulled away from him so she could look him in the eyes. "How much does it mean to you, for me to wear your mark?"

"A lot. Everything."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

Happy treated her to one of those rare grins. "You sure?"

"Yes Happy, I'm sure." She reached up and kissed him. "You will tell me though? If I'm fucking things up."

"You aint gonna fuck things up. Trust me, I'll be the one doing that." He ran his fingers through her hair. "You really want to do this? You can take a ring off. Ink's forever."

She nodded. "It's a good job I plan on loving you forever, then."

They looked over to where Tig and Gemma were leaning on the pool table, Tig's arm slung casually round Gemma shoulders. Both were grinning like a pair of Cheshire cats. She was gonna make a great old lady.


	20. Chapter 20

I don't own sons of anarchy

FAMILY

Happy laid on the bed and watched as Nikki readied herself for the upcoming Friday night bash. "I gonna head to church." He stood and pulled her away from the mirror. "Stop worrying, you look fine." He kissed her briefly and headed out of the dorm.

Nikki sighed and slumped on the bed. She didn't look fine, despite what he said. The only clean clothes she had were a couple of tank tops and a pair of ripped skinny jeans. She wondered briefly whether she should call Gemma, maybe she'd have something she could borrow. Shaking her head she quickly dismissed the idea. Plunging necklines and killer heels would never be her thing. It didn't really matter what she wore. Compared to the women that hung around the clubhouse, she'd always feel frumpy. Sometimes, when she was feeling slightly insecure, she wondered why Happy had chosen her. When she'd asked, though, he'd just laughed, but offered no explanation.

Bored with waiting, she decided to head into the clubhouse in search of something to eat. Steeling herself, she walked towards the kitchen, doing her best to avoid eye contact with the hangarounds that were waiting for the patches to emerge. There were a couple of women in the kitchen preparing a huge chilli. They both turned as she entered and looked her up and down. The oldest of the two, a brassy blonde squeezed into a pair of daisy dukes and a sequinned halter top that were at least two sizes too small, curled up her lip. "Haven't seen you before. You new?" Without waiting for an answer, she sneered. "Hope you're good at cooking or serving drinks cos none of the guys will be interested in you looking like that."

Nikki ignored her and cut herself a thick slice of bread and smothered it with cream cheese.

"Hey that's for the guys and their old ladies." The younger skinnier girl grabbed her arm. "You can't just help yourself, you know."

Nikki turned and smiled sweetly. "Good job I'm an old lady then."

"I don't see no ink darling. Getting fucked by a son don't make you an old lady."

"And yet you keep on trying."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Nikki turned and looked at the girl standing next to her. "How old are you? Twenty six, twenty seven?"

"Twenty one."

"Twenty one. So young." Nikki shook her head. "And you don't wanna be an old lady?"

"Maybe, one day." Her head swung round at the sound of the chapel doors opening. "Look we better get this food ready for the guys, they're gonna be hungry." She returned to the chilli pot and Nikki walked out into the clubhouse to greet her man.

The two women stood and watched as she approached Happy and waited for that scowl as he pushed her aside, Happy hated croweaters pushing up on him, if he wanted one he would let her know. Their jaws dropped as his face broke into a huge grin as she slipped her arms inside his cut and kissed him chastely on the lips.

"Hey Shorty." Happy put his arm around her and led her to the bar to join his brothers.

To her surprise, Nikki found herself having fun. Unlike in Tacoma where she was mostly ignored, the Redwood guys included her in their conversations. Actually asked her opinion on things and laughed at her jokes.

Happy was delighted. His girl was enjoying herself. His instinct that she would find things easier in Charming had proved correct.

He grinned as Tig slung his arm around his shoulder. "Looks like your girl's having fun."

"Yeah."

They stood in silence and watched as she joked around with Jax and Chibs. Tig glanced at his brother and shook his head. Happy really had it bad.

She might have been having fun, but as soon as Happy suggested they went to bed, Nikki readily agreed. Nothing was more fun than a roll in the sack with Happy.

The next morning, Nikki was up with the birds and nagging Happy to give her a ride into town. She really wanted something decent to wear to Gemma's barbeque.

"C'mon Hap, please." She straddled him and wrapped her arms round his neck. "I'll be quick, I promise."

"Fuck Nik, is this how it's gonna be? You nagging and me pussy whipped?"

She grinned and kissed his neck. "Yup."

He grabbed her hips and flipped her over, positioning himself between her legs. "Reckon I'm gonna have to put you in your place, bitch."

She giggled. "You can try, big man."

Happy sat on his bike outside the only half decent boutique in Charming smoking a cigarette, while Nikki picked out something suitable for the upcoming barbeque. He didn't mind really, she was a good girl and made few demands of him. Plus of course he wanted her to look good.

"Hey, I'm all done." She kissed him on the cheek and taking the helmet from him, climbed on the back of his Dyna.

He took the long way back to TM. They had a while till they had to be at the Morrow residence and Happy loved to ride with his girl's arms around his waist. He allowed himself a small smile as he twisted the throttle and felt her tighten her hold on him, her tits pressed against his back. It really didn't get better than this.

Eventually though, they pulled onto the TM lot and headed back to the dorm. Nikki needed to get changed and Happy. Well Happy needed what he always needed.

It was no surprise that they were a little late arriving, but Gemma made no comment and welcoming them warmly, she led them round the back to join the others.

Nikki leaned on the wall and watched as Clay cooked the steaks while the rest of the guys stood around, clutching beers, fire watching and the women and kids gathered, gossiping under the gazebo.

"You okay doll? Tig leaned on the wall next to her and handed her a beer.

"Sure." She smiled. "I think I'm starting to get it now. I thought that the sons were all about guns and bikes."

"And pussy doll, don't forget the pussy."

"And pussy." She chuckled. "Hap told me that it wasn't all the sons were. He said it was a family."

Tig looked over to where Bobby was arguing with Clay and juice was giving Hap a lecture on some geeky shit. He nodded. "Hap's right. It's the biggest, craziest most dysfunctional family you could ever wish for." He kissed her on the temple. "Welcome to the family doll."


	21. Chapter 21

I don't own sons of anarchy

FUTURE

"Do you think you'll ever have kids?"

Nikki shifted as the waistband of her low rise jeans caught the edge of her new tattoo. "Don't think so. I keep waiting for the biological clock to start ticking. But truthfully, I can't see it happening."

Sofia smiled. "Maybe you'll change your mind."

They were sitting on the front steps of her house watching Happy trying, and failing to intimidate the neighbourhood kids. No matter how hard he scowled or how often he growled at them, they just kept on begging for just one more ride round the block.

Nikki took a sip of her coffee and watched as he sat a tiny little girl in front of him and slowly rode his bike to the end of the street and back. "Do you think we should rescue him?"

"No he's enjoying himself. Lets go in, lunch is nearly ready and I want to make sure you kids have some food inside you before you leave." Sofia slowly pulled herself to her feet. Wincing slightly as she straightened up.

"Are you okay?" Nikki touched her arm.

"I'm fine dear, just old age catching up with me." She slipped her arm through Nikki's. "Come on, those potatoes wont mash themselves."

Sofia smiled as Nikki pulled the chicken out of the oven and put it on the counter. "I'm so glad you and Happy made up. He loves you very much, I can tell."

"I love him too."

"Oh of that, I had no doubt." She frowned slightly. "I worry about him. I know he does bad things for that club of his and I always thought that he would never meet a woman strong enough to stand by him."

"I'm not that strong."

"Happy must think you are."

"Are you talking about me?"

They both turned as he walked into the kitchen and washed his hands before sitting at the table.

Nikki smiled and kissed the snake on the top of his head. "Of course we were."

"Care to share?"

"Nope."

They ate their lunch in relative silence, both Happy and Nikki enjoying the novelty of home cooked food. Nikki had many skills but cooking wasn't one of them. She wondered whether, maybe she should get Sofia to give her some tips.

Sofia sank gratefully onto the sofa and closed her eyes as her son and his girl washed up, flicking bubbles at each other and generally acting like a couple of kids. She smiled to herself. Nikki had brought out a side of Happy that she hadn't seen since he was in his teens. A lighter side. There had always been a darkness in him, ever since he was a kid. Maybe he got it from his father, but there was definitely a predisposition for violence in him and since joining the sons it had got worse and worse. She winced as she shifted to get more comfortable and the pain in her back flared briefly. She wasn't going to be around for ever and it was comforting to know Nikki was going to be there for him.

"Hey ma, we're gonna head out." Hap leant down and kissed her on the cheek. "I'll call you when we get home." Sofia moved to stand up but Happy laid his hand on her shoulder. "You don't have to see us out, just relax. We know the way."

It took two days to get back to Tacoma. If he had been alone, Happy would have done it in less than half that time, stopping only for gas, coffee and to pee. There was no way however that he'd ask that of his girl. She got cranky without regular meals and plenty of sleep. And when she was cranky, she wouldn't fuck.

They were going to have to talk about the future but as they collapsed onto her bed, wrapped in each others arms, he knew it wouldn't be today. He kissed her, and pulled her on top of him. "Welcome home, Shorty."

"So how was your vacation?" Honey took a bite of her burger. "I want all the gory details."

Nikki rolled her eyes. They would always be friends but she felt her and Honey were drifting apart. Her friend was spending more and more time at the clubhouse, usually with Kozic. Nikki felt slightly hypocritical warning Honey about hanging with the sons but the life was hard on women, and judging by her appearance, Honey was using crank to help her along.

"It was fun. I got to meet Hap's mom, got into a fight with Gemma Morrow. Oh and I got a tattoo."

Honey squealed with delight. "Hap's?"

Nikki grinned. "Wanna look?"

"God yeah."

Nikki stood and pulled up her tank top to reveal the ink on her hip. Honey gasped and clapped her hands. The ink was simple. The word 'happy' in ornate script. The tail of the 'y' was looped into an almost complete circle, inside which was a smiley.

"Oh my god, he made you his old lady."

"Yup."

"Are you gonna move in together?"

"To be honest, Honey, I don't know. We'd have to get a bigger place." She laughed. "Of course there is a possibility he could end up killing me if we live under the same roof. I'm way too messy, it sends his ocd into overdrive."

"Happy does not have ocd."

"Honey, he sulked all day because I left a dirty bowl in the sink before I went to work."

"That doesn't mean he had ocd."

"It was in my fucking apartment!"

"Ah, you may have a point."

They crossed the road to Charlie's and Honey kissed Nikki goodbye. "Don't work too hard, sweetheart. Later."

Nikki waved to her friend and went inside to start her shift. As she organized the bar in preparation for the evening rush, she thought about her and Honey's conversation. Her and Happy really needed to sort out their living arrangements. It wasn't like they didn't spend nearly every night together at her place anyway and paying for two places was stupid.

Neither her or Happy were good at talking about the future. They both lived in the present and had a tendency to take things as they come. She sighed. As soon as she got home from work, they were going to have to have a talk.


	22. Chapter 22

I don't own sons of anarchy

DECISIONS

Nikki took a deep breath and rubbed at the niggling pain between her eyes. She was tired. Dog tired. Seven days straight, that's how long it had been since she'd had a day off. The last four of those days had been double shifts. Charlie and two other bartenders were off with flu and she had stepped in to cover for them. She glanced at the clock, another hour to go before the club closed and she could sleep and maybe see Happy for a short while.

It felt like she never saw him these days. They were always working, trying desperately to raise enough money to put down on a house. Nikki sighed, she had been officially an old lady for three months and, to her, it felt like they were treading water. They still weren't living together, and although Happy hadn't slept in his own bed for weeks, he was reluctant to give up his apartment. She guessed he still needed the calm of his own space to escape to sometimes.

There were times, usually after he'd been away for a while doing whatever it was the club asked of him, that he was distant, closed in. He scared her a little when he was like that. The sex was rougher, still good, but when she looked into his eyes it was like he didn't see her at all. It was these times that he would disappear to his own place for a day or so, and when he came back he was her Happy again.

Happy's bike was parked outside her place when she eventually got home. She gave a small smile, all she wanted to do was fall asleep in his arms. Her smile, however disappeared when she noticed the saddle bags. He hadn't mentioned a run. Shit, she hoped that whatever he was going to do could wait until the morning.

"Hap?" He wasn't in the lounge when she entered her apartment.

"In here." He was in the kitchen drinking coffee and cooking bacon and eggs. "I gotta head out. It's ma." He swallowed as he tried to keep a lid on his emotions. "My aunt called, said she collapsed. She's at hospital having tests."

"Shit Hap." Nikki wrapped her arms round his waist. "I'll just get some stuff together."

"No, there's no need for you to come." Happy pushed her away and held her at arms length. "I can travel quicker without you, and you need to sleep."

Nikki didn't argue, she knew he was right. She grabbed a plate and piling the food on to it passed it to Happy.

He ate in silence, just shovelling the food in as quickly as possible. As soon as the last mouthful was swallowed, he stood and kissing her briefly he headed for the door. "I'll call you."

Nikki nodded, her hand resting on his chest. "Stay safe." She watched as he climbed on his bike and headed down the road.

It came as no surprise that she got no sleep that night. Nikki climbed out of bed and padded into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of milk. Of course she was worried about Sofia, but she was worried about Happy too. She knew that he would ride all night without stopping, and tiredness and worry was a dangerous combination. She wouldn't be able to relax until she heard from him.

* * *

No matter how hard she tried, Nikki couldn't concentrate. Happy had called just before she had started work. His mom was being taken in for surgery as soon as possible to remove a tumour from her spine. She had been ill for some time apparently, but in typical Lowman fashion had kept it to herself.

"Hey sweetheart, you heard from Hap?"

Nikki handed Kozic a beer. "Yeah. His mom should be in surgery now." She frowned. "I should be there with him."

"Hey, hey. Don't go beating yourself up. There's nothing you can do there." He reached out and took her hand. "You want me to escort you to Oakland tomorrow?"

"It's kind of you to offer Koz, but I don't need an escort."

"Sweetheart, If I let you drive to Oakland alone, Hap'll skin me alive."

Nikki rolled her eyes. "There's no point me arguing, is there?"

"Nope." Kozic treated her to one of his killer smiles. "You're an old lady now. You gotta do as your told."

Nikki checked her rear view mirror as they pulled into the hospital parking lot. She was exhausted but Kozic must have felt a hundred times worse. He hadn't complained though, not once. Whenever they pulled over for gas and to grab a coffee she'd ask him if he wanted to take a longer break and each time he just grinned and climbed back on his bike, telling her he was fine. He could rest in Oakland.

Happy was outside, leaning on the wall smoking a cigarette, waiting for her to park her jeep. He pushed himself away from the wall and wrapped his arms round her and buried his face in her hair.

Kozic hung back, giving Happy and his girl some privacy. He waited until Happy looked over and gave the tiniest of nods. "Hey brother, how's Sofia?"

"According to the surgeon the op went well." Happy shrugged. "She's gonna have to have Chemo and maybe more surgery at a later date. The cancer's pretty advanced." He sighed and handed Kozic the keys to Sofia's house. "Go get some sleep, use my old room. We'll see you later."

Nikki was shocked at Sofia's appearance. She'd expected her to look pale and sick after major surgery, but wasn't prepared for how old and thin she looked. "Hey, Sofia." He pulled up a chair and took her hand.

Sofia opened her eyes and smiled weakly. "Hi darling." She gave Nikki's hand a tiny squeeze. "Don't look so worried, I'll be fine."

"I know, but, God Sofia, you scared us. Why didn't you tell anyone you were ill?"

"I didn't want to worry you."

"Well that went well." Nikki turned to where Happy was standing, leaning on the door frame, concern written all over his face. "I guess we're gonna have to keep a close eye on you in future."

Sofia smiled and closed her eyes. "You sound just like Happy."

* * *

Later as they lay, wrapped in each others arms in Sofia's narrow bed, they both knew that they couldn't put off discussing the future any longer. Happy ran his fingers through her hair. "Ma's gonna need a lot of care in the next few months. One of the nurses at the hospital said there's a really good place in Bakersfield."

"A hospice? Oh no Hap you can't send her there."

"What choice do I have?"

"I'll look after her."

"No you wont. Ma wouldn't let you." He sighed. "Bakersfield wont be so bad. We lived there when I was a kid so she's got friends and family around her."

"Sounds like you got it all figured out."

Happy scowled. "Don't start with the attitude. This is the best option. Ma will get the best care there."

"Have you discussed it with her?"

"Of course I have. She agrees with me." Happy closed his eyes. "Please Nikki, don't fight me over this."

"I'm not, it's just.." Nikki swallowed, unable to continue.

"I don't like it either." Happy pulled her closer. "Kinda always thought she'd live for ever. Stupid, I know."

They fell silent, lost in their own thoughts for a while. Happy shifted. "There's something else."

Nikki said nothing waiting for him to speak.

"This place is expensive and Ma's insurance aint gonna cover it. Even if I give up my apartment, what I earn aint gonna cover it."

"What about what we've got saved up?"

"It would help, are you sure?"

"Of course. Sofia's wellbeing is more important than a house."

Happy kissed her on the forehead. "Thankyou so much."

Nikki frowned. "Tacoma is such a long way away. Don't you think we should move closer, maybe stay here."

"We'll see." Happy had planned on talking to Lee about releasing him from the charter and going nomad for a while. It would increase his earning potential and he could be around for his ma more. He wasn't sure how Nikki would feel about his plans. As a nomad he would be away from her a lot and travelling alone was always risky. With his hand under her chin, he gently lifted her face to his and kissed her softly. "Get some sleep Shorty, we'll talk some more in the morning."

* * *

"Nomad? What exactly does that mean?"

Happy ran his hand over his head. His mom had been in the hospice for a couple of weeks and it was clear that they were going to struggle to pay the fees on top of the cost of her meds. "It means I'm not tied to a specific charter. Nomads go where they're needed, I'll be able to earn more than I can now."

"You earn more because it's more dangerous?"

"Yeah."

"And you'll be away from home more?"

"Yeah."

"What if I could pick up extra shifts? Maybe take a second job?"

"You're already working yourself into the ground."

"I could find a cheaper apartment."

"Nikki, please." Happy grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look into his eyes. "Just shut up and listen." He took a deep breath. She really wasn't going to like this. "I going to go nomad and I want you to move to Charming."

"Why Charming?"

" It's the nearest charter to Bakersfield and I need to know you're safe when I'm away." Nikki opened her mouth to speak and he held up his hand. "I know, I know. You're a big girl and can look after yourself." He gave her a smile. "It's not forever. Please Nikki do this for me."

Nikki slipped her arms around his waist. "Okay."


	23. Chapter 23

I don't own sons of anarchy

REALITY CHECK

Nikki parked her jeep next to Gemma's caddy and climbing out, headed for the office. She looked over to where the bikes were parked and a grin spread over her face as her eyes fell on the familiar blue reaper on the tank of Happy's bike. She felt her heart beat quicken. Happy hadn't told her he was coming home. She changed direction and hurried towards the clubhouse. She hadn't seen him for over a month and just wanted to feel his arms around her.

Life hadn't been easy since moving to Charming. Nikki loved her new house, but Happy was never there and if it wasn't for Tig and Gemma she would have lost her mind. If she wasn't working, she was in Bakersfield, trying to spend as much time with Sofia as she could. Happy had said it wasn't going to be for ever, but it had been over five months and he was still a nomad and there were times when Nikki was seriously beginning to regret ever agreeing to be his old lady.

Tig looked up from under the hood of the car he was working on, as Nikki ran towards the clubhouse. "Oh shit."

Nikki pulled open the door and walked into the clubhouse, her eyes adjusting to the dim light as they scanned the room, finally falling on Happy reclining on a sofa in the corner of the room, a bottle of jack in his hand and a croweater on her knees between his legs.

Nikki backed out of the clubhouse unable to drag her eyes from the scene in front of her. Once outside, she turned, ran to her jeep and, tires spinning, pulled off the lot.

Tig threw down his tools, ran to his bike and sped to Nikki's house. He didn't need to see what she had witnessed, it was written all over her face. He just had to get to her before she did anything stupid.

He let himself into her house and ran up the stairs. There in the bedroom, Nikki was pulling her clothes out of drawers and stuffing them into bags.

"Nik, doll." He touched her arm and she spun round.

"Did you know what he was doing in there?"

Tig looked at the floor. "I'm sorry doll. I didn't know, for sure."

"But you guessed?"

"Yeah." Nikki turned and carried on stuffing her clothes into bags, tears coursing down her cheeks, unchecked.

"Nik, please. Just stop." Tig grabbed the bag from her. "You can't leave him. He's hurting real bad. He needs you."

"He needs me? Then why isn't he here? Why did he go to that skank when he could have come to me?" She tried to grab the bag back but Tig tightened his grip. "I can't stay Tig. Please don't make me."

Tig sighed and let go of the bag. "Okay, but you need to calm down. You're in no fit state to drive." He turned and headed down stairs, returning moments later with a glass of wine. "Here drink this and sit down for a second."

Nikki took the glass and threw the wine down her throat in a single swallow. As she bent to pick up her bag again, she felt the room sway and her vision blurred. "You drugged me? You fucking drugged me."

Tig grinned and caught her as her knees started to buckle. "It was that or handcuffs doll. Did you really think I'd let you go?" He lifted her, bridal style and carried her to the bed.

Nikki buried her face into his shoulder as she struggled to remain conscious. "I fucking hate you Trager."

Tig gently laid her on the bed and kissed her on the forehead. "But you love Hap, and you aint going anywhere until you've talked to him." He sat on the edge of her bed stroking her hair until he was sure she was asleep, then climbed on his bike and rode back to TM.

Happy was asleep on the sofa, the croweater laying across his chest, when Tig marched into the clubhouse. He grabbed her roughly and pulled her to her feet. "Leave now." One look at the expression on his face told her not to argue and the hurried outside without a backwards glance.

Happy was rudely woken by someone slapping him hard across the face. "Wha' the fuck you doing?" He prised open his eyes and peered at Tig standing over him with a disgusted look on his face.

"Real smart move Hap, getting your dick sucked here."

"The fuck you talking about?"

"Nikki. Your old lady. Remember her? She saw you."

"Shit! She was here?"

"Yes, she was here. That's what happens when you encourage your girl to get involved in the club." Tig shook his head. "You really are a dumb motherfucker."

Groaning, Happy pulled himself to his feet, swallowing as a wave of nausea hit him. "I gotta see her, gotta stop her leaving my ass."

Tig grinned and pushed him back onto the sofa. "You aint going anywhere till you sober up, my friend." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a bag of pills. "Don't worry Nikki aint going anywhere for at least eight hours."

"You drugged her?"

"Well it was that or let her leave your sorry ass."

"Thanks bro."

Tig shook his head. "I didn't do it for you."

* * *

Nikki opened her eyes, trying to piece together what had happened the night before. Suddenly she remembered and with her hand over her mouth, she ran into the bathroom and threw up.

He'd cheated on her. She sank to her knees, her head resting on the bathtub and sobbed.

Happy stood and slowly climbed the stairs. He couldn't put this off any longer, he was going to have to face the music. "Nik?" He reached down and touched her shoulder.

"Don't touch me."

"Please Nik, I'm so sorry. Please let me explain."

"Not interested." Nikki slowly got to her feet and walked back into the bedroom.

"Nik. You gotta listen to me."

"No I don't Hap. What part of you thought it was okay for you to let that skank give you a blowjob right under my fucking nose?"

"It didn't mean nothing. I was drunk."

"Oh well, that makes it alright then."

"Don't be like that."

"Like what? Pissed? Hurt? Do you have any idea what this feels like?" She pushed him hard in the chest. "You think so little of me that you're prepared to risk what we have. For nothing?" She took a deep, shuddering breath. "I've done every thing you've asked of me. I moved house, I get up at five every morning to do a crappy cleaning job. I spend half my life in Bakersfield and give up every weekend to flip burgers in Lodi. And do you know what Hap? I was okay with all that." She gave a short humourless laugh. "I thought we were a team. Well stupid fucking me. All the time I was doing that, you were out there getting your dick wet. You really think I'm gonna stick around and let you keep on humiliating me?"

"It aint like that."

Nikki sank onto the bed. "Aint it? I thought you loved me."

"I do, you know that." Happy sat next to her. "It all turned to shit in Tacoma. Bully bought it. I didn't want to come home till I'd calmed down. Please Nik, you have to believe me. I never wanted to hurt you."

"And yet here we are."

"Don't leave me. I know I fucked up. But I need you."

Nikki sighed. "I'm sorry about Bully, and I get that sometimes you need space to process stuff that's gone down. But you crossed the line Hap. And right now I'm the one that needs space."

"Okay, I can stay at the clubhouse for a while."

"No Hap, I can't stay in Charming." She stood. "I need to get away from you, from the club. Please don't fight me over this."

"I don't wanna lose you."

Nikki shook her head, all the fight had gone from her. "I can't promise that."

Tig looked up as Happy walked into the club. One look at his face told him things hadn't gone well. "She still at home?"

"For now."

Tig nodded and stalked out to his bike. Ten minutes later he was outside her house, watching as she threw her bags into the back of her jeep. "Tell me this aint forever doll."

Nikki shrugged and slipped her arms round his waist. "Take care of him."

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the top of her head. "It's what I do doll. Call me when you get to where you're going."

Tig rode behind her until she reached the freeway then turned his bike around and headed back to Charming and his broken hearted brother.


	24. Chapter 24

I don't own sons of anarchy

TRUST

Nikki sat on the dunes smoking a joint and watching the surfers. She sniffed and roughly wiped away a tear. It had been a week since she left Charming and all she seemed to do was cry. Her cell chirped. It was him, she didn't even need to check. He must've rang at least five times this morning alone. Nikki reached into her bag and switched the phone off.

Happy growled and hurled his cell across the lot. Tig looked over and shook his head. He was going to have to start banging heads together if this carried on. He left the bike he was working on and sauntered over to the office. "Gem. I need you to call Nik again."

"She wont answer Tigger, you know that."

"Then leave her a message, tell her it's an emergency. Fuck I don't know. Use your imagination." He ran his hand across his forehead. "She needs to get her ass back here before Hap really loses his shit."

Nikki turned on her cell and checked her messages. She sighed, it was the same bullshit that she'd been listening to for the last six days. Maybe it was time to get in touch. She took a deep breath and pressed call.

Tig was getting a blow job when his cell rang, he checked the caller ID and pushed the redhead off him. "About fucking time. Shit Nik, did I or did I not tell you to call me?"

"I'm sorry Tig." She took a deep breath. "Is Happy okay?"

"No doll, he's not. I told you, he needs you."

"No Tig, I don't think he does."

Tig sighed. "You coming home?"

"No."

"Well at least tell me where you are."

"Oh sure, I'm going to do that."

"So why did you call, huh?" Tig was getting pissed now. "Fuck Nik, it was just a blowjob. Maybe you should stop being such a drama queen and get your stubborn ass back home."

"Just a blowjob? Oh well that's okay then. Cos if the boot was on the other foot and Hap had come home and found some guy between my legs, he'd be just fine with that."

"Not the same thing. Look he was drunk, she came on to him."

"It is the same thing. Fuck Tig, I thought you were my friend. But this isn't about me is it? It's Happy who you care about. My feelings don't come into it."

"I am your friend doll. I'm worried how you're gonna feel when Hap does something stupid. The way things are going, he's gonna get hurt cos of your stupid pride."

"That's a low blow Tigger. Happy is responsible for his own actions. I'm not the villain here. Do you know what, I not gonna have this conversation with you. Goodbye."

"No Nik! Wait! Do not hang up on me." Tig sighed. "I'm sorry. Just call him, please. At least listen to what he has to say."

"I will, just not yet."

"Well don't leave it too long doll."

Nikki blinked away her tears. "I really miss you Tigger."

"I miss you too doll. We all do."

Happy sat on his bike waiting for his brothers to ready themselves for the run to Tacoma. Bully's funeral was in two days time, something he was dreading. He had sat and held his brother as he'd bled out from a stomach wound, unable to do anything but be there as he took his final breath. Despite his reputation, Happy wasn't a heartless man and watching his brother of ten years die had ripped him apart. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell. As usual it went to answerphone, but this time instead of hanging up, he left a message. "Nikki, baby. I need to talk to you. Just call me please."

Nikki parked her jeep in the driveway and let herself into her house. She sighed, she never thought of it as their house, Happy wasn't there enough for that.

Tig had told her that they were going to be in Tacoma for Bully's funeral which was why she chose now to come home. She still wasn't sure what the future held for her and Happy. They had to talk, she knew that. But she truly didn't know if she'd ever be able to trust him again, and without trust, they had no future. She searched through the kitchen cupboards finding nothing. A quick glance at her watch told her she had an hour until the supermarket closed. She would have to be quick if she wanted to eat. Hopefully she would be able to fly under Gemma's radar. The last think she needed was the queen sticking her nose in.

Nikki bought enough food to last her a few days and made a grovelling phone call to her boss, promising to be in on Monday morning and never to let her down like that again. She contemplated calling Happy but decided against it. Whatever talking they were going to do would have to be face to face when he got back in four days time.

* * *

Words could not describe the relief Happy felt when he saw her jeep in the driveway. He dismounted and ran into the house. "Nikki?"

"Hey."

Happy resisted the urge to sweep her into his arms. "Hey, you okay?"

Nikki shrugged and shook her head. "Not really Hap."

He reached out to touch her but she took a step back, her arms folded in front of her. "Nikki, please."

With a sigh, she walked into the kitchen and sat at the table. "I need you to listen to what I have to say."

"Okay."

"What you did tore me apart and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to move on from this. We're apart so much and I have to be able to trust you for this to work. You made me feel like a fool. I thought you were different and I was wrong." She was crying again and made no attempt to stem her tears. "You broke my heart Hap."

Happy reached out and touched her hand. "I'm sorry. I don't know what else I can say. If I could undo what I did, I would. But you gotta believe me. This was the only time."

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because I have never lied to you." He took a deep breath. "I was drunk. Bully had died in my arms and there was nothing I could do to save him. I should've come to you, but I was freaking out and I did what I always do when I get like that. I drank myself into oblivion. That girl. She just…I didn't go looking, she just did it and I didn't stop her. It's no excuse, I know that."

"No it isn't." She looked up and her eyes met his. "But it is a reason."

"Does that mean you'll forgive me?"

"Maybe, just not yet. I think it's best you stay at the clubhouse for now." She gave him a tiny smile. "Let's just take things one day at a time.


	25. Chapter 25

I don't own Sons of anarchy

HEALING

Sofia sighed and leaning back on the pillows she closed her eyes. "Nikki, you can stop pretending. I know something is going on between you and my dumb son." She opened her eyes again and gave Nikki the same look that Happy gave her when he was pissed. "What did he do this time?"

"Why are you assuming it's Hap's fault?"

"You telling me it's yours?"

"No. Please Sofia. Can we just change the subject."

"He cheated didn't he?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Ha! I knew it. Just you wait till I get my hands on him."

Nikki shook her head. "Sofia!"

"What? You think I'm too old and sick to kick his ass, is that it?"

"God no." She laughed. "I swear you're the only person on the planet that he's scared of."

"You going to forgive him?"

"I don't know."

"You love him."

"Yeah, I'm just not sure that's enough."

"You don't trust him."

"How can I?"

Sofia took her hand. "Please don't give up on him. You are the best thing to ever happen to him."

Nikki looked at the floor. She didn't want to give Sofia false hope, but she was beginning to doubt that things were going to work out between her and Happy. When things got tough she bailed and it was taking all of her willpower to stay in Charming. It would be so easy just to pack up and go. If only she didn't love him so much.

Happy sat on the picnic table, trying to stay out of Tig and Gemma's crosshairs. They had taken it on themselves to fix his and Nikki's relationship and they were driving him to distraction. It wasn't him they should have been focusing their attention on. It was Nikki who was holding back. He sighed, he was beginning to think that they were done.

Tig pulled out of the lot, and rode towards Nikki's place. He knew she had been to see Hap's mom and that she would be back now. She was avoiding TM and Gemma like the plague and not picking up her phone so he had no choice but to go round there himself and shake things up a bit.

Nikki was just about to sit and eat her sandwich when the doorbell rang. Sighing she walked slowly to the door praying it wasn't Gemma. She felt like Sofia had already cracked her defenses and Gemma would bring the rest crashing down.

"C'mon doll, open the door."

Oh shit she'd reckoned without Tig. "Coming Tigger."

She opened the door and was swept up into his arms. "Hey doll, give your old uncle Tig a hug."

Nikki wrapped her arms tightly round his neck. "Oh Tig, I've missed you so much."

He followed her into the kitchen. "So, you gonna tell me what's going on with you an' Hap."

"I don't know. To tell the truth Tig, all I want to do is run as far away as possible."

Tig gently touched her cheek. "This has really shaken your faith in him hasn't it?" Nikki nodded and swallowed the lump that had lodged in her throat, and he pulled her into his arms. "Hey, hey. C'mon doll, you can work this out. You know he loves you, right?"

"I know. But what if he does this again? I know that you think I'm overreacting, but this is important to me."

"Doll, no one knows the consequences of cheating better than me. It cost me my family. But Hap, he doesn't cheat." Nikki opened her mouth to speak and he held up his hand. "No hear me out. In all the time he's been with you, he's stayed away from other women, and that aint easy when they're so available. Please Nik I know you're hurting. But you gotta understand, Hap was drunk, really drunk. I don't even think he registered that skank was there." Tig held her by her shoulders. "Can't you forgive him, just this once?"

Nikki slumped. "I want to. But I scared he's gonna keep on hurting me?"

"He wont. He's dumb, but he aint that dumb. Give him a chance Nik."

Tig stroked her hair. "Have you any idea what a miserable fucker he's been? This is killing him Nik. And by the looks of you, it aint exactly been a picnic for you either. The way I see it doll, is that you're both hurting, but only you can make things better."

She shook her head. "I can't."

He grabbed her hand. "C'mon, you are gonna sort this out right now."

"Tig…"

"Nah doll if you aint gonna listen to reason, then we'll have to go with plan B." He led her to his bike and plonked the helmet on her head. "Get on."

She did as she was told. Tig had got his 'don't fuck with me' face on.

Happy laid on the bed trying to block out the sounds of the party. Tig was right, he was a miserable fucker these days. He looked up as the door opened and Tig pushed Nikki inside, grabbing the key from the dresser. "Right, here's the deal. I'm not unlocking this door until after I hear you fucking." He turned on his heel, strutted out and locked the door behind them.

Bobby rolled his eyes as he joined him at the bar. "Shit Tig, never had you down as a relationship councillor."

Tig grinned. "I'm a man of many talents Bobby."

Nikki stood in the middle of the dorm, her eyes downcast as Happy swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood in front of her so close that she could feel the heat radiating from him. She swallowed. God she wanted to touch him so much.

Happy ran his fingers along her jaw. "Fuck Nik, I want you so bad."

Nikki closed her eyes. "I want you too. But I'm scared you're gonna hurt me."

"I wish I could promise that I'll never hurt you again." He bent and kissed her so softly that his lips barely touched hers. "Give me a chance, and I swear to you I will try my hardest to treat you right." He kissed her again, harder this time.

Nikki's hands pressed against his chest. "I love you happy, but if you ever cheat on me again, I promise you, I will walk away from you forever."

He nodded and pulled her closer, burying his face in her hair. "I'm never gonna risk losing you again."

Nikki slipped her arms round his waist. "The ball's in your court Hap."

Tig didn't bother to unlock the door until the morning. He guessed correctly that they didn't even notice.


	26. Chapter 26

I don't own sons of anarchy

MOVING ON

Nikki flinched at the sound of the front door slamming as Happy stormed out after yet another fight. She laid back on the bed and closed her eyes. She didn't even have the energy to cry. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't trust him any more. Whenever he went away she would convince herself that he was out fucking any whore that looked his way.

She was trying, she really was. But their life had fallen into a pattern of fucking and fighting. It was exhausting and she didn't think she could carry on like this for much longer. She dragged herself out of bed with a sigh, she needed to get to TM before he left for Canada. No matter how bad the fights or how harsh the words, she couldn't bear the thought of him leaving with bad feelings hanging over them.

Happy stormed through the clubhouse, his face like thunder. He was seriously beginning to wonder if it was worth it. No matter what he said, Nikki couldn't trust him. She was trying, he knew. But he had sown that seed of doubt and over the last couple of months it had grown like a weed. It would be easier if he patched into the Redwood charter but then he'd never be able to afford his ma's hospice fees. He slumped against the bar. He loved Nikki but he was losing her. All because of one stupid mistake.

He turned as the door opened and Quinn, the nomad president, and fellow nomads, Dog and Greg walked in. Happy swallowed his disappointment, he had hoped it was going to be his girl. "Brothers." He hugged the nomads and joined them at a table to discuss the upcoming run across the border.

Quinn frowned. "You okay, bro? You seem a little distracted."

"I'm fine." Happy looked over to the door for what felt like the hundredth time. He couldn't leave till he'd made things right with his girl. "I just need a minute." He stood and walked outside, giving a huge sigh of relief as he spotted her Jeep pull onto the lot. She climbed out and ran over to him and he pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry."

Nikki threw her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry too."

They stood in silence for a while, their arms around each other, neither wanting to say anything for fear that it would descend into another argument. Finally, summoning her courage, Nikki spoke. "Are we okay?" She felt him stiffen. "Please Hap, tell me we're okay."

"You gonna be here when I get back?"

"Of course."

"Then we're okay."

Gemma stood in the office doorway and watched as Hap and his girl clung to each other as if their lives depended on it. It was clear they'd had another fight. She frowned, despite their rocky start, she liked Nikki and although she wasn't as close to Happy as she was to the Redwood sons, she could see how much he needed her.

She stepped forward as they pulled apart and Happy walked towards his bike. Putting her arm round Nikki's shoulder, she kissed her on the cheek. "You okay sweetheart?"

"Not really Gem."

"So what was it about this time?"

Nikki shrugged. "Same old, same old. I have to get past this Gem, I know. It's just so hard."

"Do you really believe he's cheating on you?"

"I don't know. He says he isn't."

"You don't believe him?"

"Yes.. No.. I don't know. I want to."

"Have you tried just talking to him?"

"Fuck Gemma, how do you think these fights start?" She looked over to where Happy was sitting on his bike, fastening his helmet. "I just want things to go back to the way they were."

She left Gemma's side and walked over to him. "Hap?"

He smiled and touched her cheek. "I s'pose I'd be wasting my time if I told you not to worry?"

She nodded and kissed him softly. "Stay safe. Call me when you can."

He returned the kiss, a little more forcefully. "You know the routine. You need anything go to Gemma or Tig. Don't leave town without telling someone where you're going."

"Yes Hap, I know the routine." She rolled her eyes. "You've told me enough times."

"You plan on letting him go anytime soon?" Quinn barked.

She smiled and turned to the big nomad. "He's all yours. Bring him back whole."

He grinned and gave her a salute. "You got it darling. Okay brothers, lets roll."

Nikki stood back and watched them ride away before walking slowly to her jeep and making her way home.

Gemma was just locking up the office when Tig pulled onto the lot and killing the engine, stalked over to her and kissed her on the cheek. "Nomads gone?"

"Yeah about an hour ago." She sighed. "Nik and Hap have been fighting again. I'm worried about them Tig. They're gonna tear each other apart."

Tig shook his head and gave her another kiss. "Stop worrying so much. They'll be fine. Just promise me you'll stay out of their business."

"But."

"Gemma I'm serious. Happy will not appreciate you getting into his shit. Just leave them alone to figure it out. Trust me, all they need is a little time and space to work shit out."

Although he had told Gemma to butt out, Tig had no intention of following his own advice. He got off his bike, marched up her garden path and knocked loudly on the door.

Nikki sighed. Only Tig would knock that loudly. "Tigger."

"Think you an' me need to have a little chat doll." He pushed past her and threw himself onto the sofa. "You got any beer?"

Rolling her eyes she went to the fridge and pulled out two bottles, she removed the caps, passed one to Tig and sat next to him. "Why are you here?"

"Gem says you an' Hap have been fighting again."

"Gem needs to stay out of my business."

"She's worried about you." He gave her one of his best glares. "Does she have good reason to be?"

Nikki shrugged. "I don't know."

"C'mon doll, you can do better than that."

"I don't trust him."

"Hap don't cheat."

"How can I be sure. I want to believe him, but there's this little voice that's telling me he's gonna do it again."

"You could try ignoring it."

"Shit Tig, don't you think I've tried that?"

"Try harder. How long do you think Hap's gonna put up with your shit huh?"

"My shit? How is this my fault Tigger?"

"That's not what I meant." Tig ran his hand through his hair. This wasn't going according to plan. "Nik doll, you know I love you an' I want you to be happy."

"And the only way I can be happy is by keeping my mouth shut is it?"

"No but you an' Hap are going round in circles. He fucked up and you freaked out. But you gotta move on."

"What if I can't?"

"Then it's time to move out." Tig put his arm round her and she rested her head on his shoulder. He was right, she knew.

"Do you really think he hasn't cheated on me?"

Tig turned so he could look her in the eye. "I know he hasn't cheated on you." He grinned. "You really don't get it do you? Happy doesn't lie. Ever."

"But.."

"He's a violent, sadistic killer, but he aint a liar. If he says he aint cheating, he aint cheating." He brushed the hair away from her face and kissed her on the forehead. "He loves you and Hap don't love easily. Don't let one stupid drunken moment ruin your lives."

"I'll try."

"Good girl. Now I'm gonna head back to TM and get shitfaced. Wanna come?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"Okay. You sure you aint gonna be brooding?"

"I'm sure." She really was. Tig was right. She couldn't let what happened destroy what she and Happy had. It wouldn't be easy but it was time to move on.


	27. Chapter 27

I don't own Sons of anarchy

PERFECTION

It was past midnight when Happy passed the 'Welcome to Charming' sign. He was exhausted, his muscles ached and his head was pounding. He hadn't slept for two days, but he couldn't wait. He had to get home to his girl, had to make things right.

The Canadian run had been a straight forward protection job and had gone without a hitch. The purse had been good, well worth the days away. But now all he wanted to do spend some quality time with Nikki.

Nikki stirred at the familiar sound of his bike pulling onto the driveway. She always slept lightly when Happy was away. She climbed out of bed and, rubbing her eyes, made her way down the stairs. "Hap!"

Happy walked through the front door and pulled her into his arms. "Hey Shorty." He lifted her off the ground and she wrapped her legs round his waist as he carried her up the stairs.

"I wasn't expecting you till tomorrow."

"Missed you. Wanted to get home." He carefully placed his cut on the back of the chair and threw his clothes into the laundry basket before falling into bed next to her. "You smell so good."

"Wish I could say the same."

Happy bit her neck. "You love it when I smell like a real man."

"You know it Baby." Nikki giggled. She could see how tired he was. It wouldn't stop him though. He needed to show her he loved her, needed to reconnect.

He was still sleeping deeply when Nikki got up for work the following morning, actually sleeping through her alarm. She quietly got ready and left the house not wanting to disturb his, obviously, much needed sleep.

She didn't get home until late afternoon and happy was already getting angsty. "Where you been? You're supposed to finish at twelve."

"Working. Where else would I be?"

"Thought you might wanna get back to your man."

"I did Hap, but we're short staffed. It's a care home, I can't just leave if there's no one to cover the next shift."

"Aint your problem."

"Look, I'm here now. I'm not getting into a fight with you over this. How would you feel if the staff at your mom's home just went home and left her uncared for?"

"Not the same thing. You aint a nurse you're a cleaner."

"Well today I was helping with lunch." She ran her fingers through her hair. "I don't like this any more than you. If I could find a different job I would. But with this one I finish early enough to be able to drive up to Bakersfield when you're away."

Happy frowned. No wonder she was so tired all the time. It was a three hour drive to Bakersfield. He knew she spent as much time as she could with his ma when he was away, but had assumed she only went on her days off.

"Quit."

"How can I?"

"Easy. Go in, tell 'em you're quitting."

"And what do I do for money?"

"Find something else."

"Like what?"

"Shit, I don't know. Look, you hate that job right?"

"Yeah."

"And you're tired all the time?"

"Yeah."

"So quit."

"But.."

Happy reached out and touched her cheek. "You are working yourself into the ground and running backwards and forwards to see ma all the time. If you aint careful you'll make yourself ill. This aint your responsibility, it's mine. How 'bout you let me take care of you for a while?"

"Hap, I cant afford to quit. All your money goes on your mom's fees. How am I supposed to pay the rent and bills?"

"I give you money."

"I know and it helps, but it isn't nearly enough."

She was right, Happy knew. But it killed him seeing her doing a job she hated because he couldn't provide for her. "This wasn't how it was supposed to be."

Nikki wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. "Life rarely is."

He kissed the top of her head. "Wanna go for a ride?"

"Okay."

As his bike ate up the miles, Happy could feel the tension leaving his body. No matter how tired he was, or how much shit was going on in his life, this was what he lived for. He wished they could ride and ride forever. No money worries, no sick mother, no club commitments, no shitty jobs. Just him, his Harley and his girl chasing the horizon and never looking back. He frowned as he felt Nikki tighten her grip and tuck her face deeper into his back, a sure sign she was getting tired. There was diner up ahead he could pull in there.

They sat in a booth by the window drinking coffee, both lost in their own thoughts. Nikki looked up and with a small smile reached out and touched his hand. "We'll be okay."

"Will we? Seems to me that you got the shitty end of the stick." He gripped her hand and stared into her eyes. "Why d'ya stick around?"

"Because I love you. And despite all this shit, I think you're worth sticking around for." She sighed. "All my life, I've been a quitter, never saw the point in flogging a dead horse. And I've never once regretted it. But you and me." She grinned. "Shit Hap. I couldn't give you up if I tried."

Happy treated her to one of those rare smiles. "If you can't quit your job, can you at least take some time off?"

"I guess. What did you have in mind?"

Happy's grin got broader. "Road trip?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely."

It was two weeks before they were ready to leave. Whatever happened to spontaneity? But finally they were ready to go.

"C'mon Hap, please tell me where we're going."

"Nope."

"Well at least tell me what I need to pack. Hot or cold."

"Hot."

"How many days on the road."

"Was planning on two." He grinned. "Thought we'd take the scenic route." He kissed her gently on the lips. "Wait there, just need to have a word with Tig." Nikki leaned on his bike and sighed. They would never leave at this rate.

Once on the road, they made good progress. The roads Happy had chosen were quiet and relatively traffic free and they traveled at a steady ninety most of the way through the desert. After four hours though, Nikki was sick of sand and the searing heat, and she couldn't hide the huge sigh of relief when he pulled onto the lot of a motel that appeared to be in the middle of nowhere. "Somewhat reluctantly, she followed him towards the reception."

Impatiently he turned and scowled. "C'mon, what is your problem?"

"You sure the owner isn't called Bates?"

"Think you're safe enough, the only psychopathic killer round here is me."

"Oh yeah, I was forgetting."

Inside the motel was the reason you should never book by its cover, (although Happy was a mean looking son of a bitch, so there was obviously exceptions.) The room was clean and cosy and the smells emanating from the pristine diner next door were delicious. Happy smirked at the expression on her face. "You really think I'd have you stay in some shitty dive?"

"I guess not." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "So what's it to be, Fuck or food?"

"Fuck, then food, then fuck."

"Mmm Hap." Nikki pushed her hands inside his tee shirt as he nibbled at her neck. "Greedy fucker."

"You know it Shorty."

It actually turned out to be fuck, then food, then fuck, then fuck, then fuck some more. So much so that Nikki was amazed she could actually walk to his bike the next morning much less sit on it! Fortunately they had covered most of the journey and were only three hours away from Vegas, which she'd already figured was where they were heading. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. She knew there was a big charter there and guessed they would be visiting. She may have been okay around the redwood patches but she was still nervous about going to a strange clubhouse. She sighed and gave herself a mental kick up the ass. Hap would take care of her, like he always did.

All too soon they were pulling up outside the clubhouse and steeling herself, with her hand in his, Nikki followed him inside.

As Nikki looked around her, she felt all those old insecurities come bubbling back to the surface. Why would Happy want her when he could have women like the ones that were hanging around here.

Happy frowned at the expression on her face. "I know what you're thinking. Stop it now."

"But."

"Look at me Nikki." With a sigh, she did as she was told. "I aint with those bitches, I'm with you."

"I know, but they're all so stunning. I can't compete with that."

"Are they? Look at them Nik, really look and tell me what you see."

" Beautiful women with perfect bodies."

"And when you look in the mirror what do you see?"

She shrugged. "I dunno, I'm just ordinary, I guess."

"Do you know what I see when I look at you?"

Nikki shook her head.

"I see perfection." She opened her mouth to speak, but he silenced her with a kiss before continuing. "Everything about you is perfect. The way your hair turns gold in sunlight. How your eyes sparkle when you're happy, without the help of tons of makeup, the way your nose wrinkles when you're concentrating. Your tits. Shit Nik, you have the best tits, and as for that fine ass." Happy grinned. "Well it don't get more perfect than that. And then of course we get to your pussy. You gotta believe me when I tell you that you have the sweetest most beautiful pussy in the world. And it's all mine." He turned and looked across the room. "Do you know what I see when I look at those bitches over there?" His lip curled. "Fakes. Fake hair, fake eyelashes, fake tits, fake everything." He shook his head. "Why would I want used up whores like them when I can have you?"

"Wow brother, that's the longest speech I've ever heard you make."

They both turned and Nikki gave a cry of surprise. "Tig! What are you doing here." Tig grinned and pulled her into a bear hug, lifting her off her feet. "Gonna need a best man aint ya."


	28. Chapter 28

I don't own sons of anarchy

WEDDING

Nikki's mouth fell open and she turned back to Happy. "He's not kidding is he?"

Happy smirked. "Nope." His face became serious and he ran his finger along her cheek. "We don't have to if you don't want to."

"I want to."

"I can feel a 'but' coming." Happy smiled. "It's all cool Shorty, I aint gonna railroad ya into doing something you don't wanna. If you want a big wedding, that's fine. I can wait. If you wanna carry on as we are, that's fine too."

"No buts Hap. This way is perfect." She stood on tiptoes and kissed him softly. "There is one thing though." She pulled away from him and turned to Tig. "I don't want you to be the best man."

Tig's face fell. "Oh."

"I want you to walk me up the aisle." She squealed as Tig swept her into his arms. "I take it that's a yes." She threw her arms around his neck. "If it wasn't for you sticking your nose into mine an' Hap's shit, I doubt we'd be here at all."

"Nah, you'd have figured it out. I just hurried things along a bit. I got fed up seeing his miserable face at the clubhouse all the time."

Happy grinned, he knew it was a gamble, organizing this without her. It was important to him that she understood just how committed he was this relationship. Things might not have been perfect for them at the moment, but he did love her and this seemed the best way to let her know.

Nikki was still grinning as they walked back to his bike after sorting out the wedding license. This was typical of Happy and indicative of the way their relationship worked. He rarely discussed things with her, just made up his mind and went ahead and did what he thought needed doing. She knew that, to outsiders, this may seem as archaic, letting the man make all the decisions. It wasn't like that though. She always had the power of veto and he would never try to force her into doing things she didn't want to do, and the facts were, nine times out of ten, his instincts were right. She slipped her hand into his and gave it a tiny squeeze. "Haaap."

"I know that tone of voice. This is gonna cost me money, isn't it?"

She grinned. "Well I would like something nice to wear."

"I suppose me telling you that you look perfect just the way you are isn't gonna work?"

"Not this time Hap."

"I don't have to come do I?"

"No, but I will need a ride."

"Okay, we'll go back to the clubhouse an' I'll get Tig on it."

"Oh he's gonna just love you."

Nikki was right. Tig was less than impressed with Happy's plans for him. The chapel wasn't booked until the following day, and he had planned on spending his time up until then sampling the finest pussy Vegas had to offer. "Shopping? For dresses? No absolutely not, no way. It's no good looking at me like that doll…. Hap. Tell her to stop looking at me like that."

"You don't have to come in with me, I just need a ride."

"Why cant Happy do it?"

Happy grinned. "I'm paying. You can provide the transport."

"I'll find you a prospect."

"Don't want a prospect." Nikki stuck out her bottom lip and looked up at Tig through her lashes.

"Fine. Jesus, just stop looking at me like that. Shit Hap, how do you stand it?"

Happy laughed as he handed her a wad of cash. "I don't man, she's got me completely whipped."

"Hey." Tig pointed his finger at her as she handed him her helmet before heading towards the vintage dress shop. "Do not spend all fucking day in there."

Nikki grinned and kissed him on the cheek. "You sure you don't want to come in with me?"

"I'd rather gouge out my eyes. Just get your ass in there and hurry the fuck up." Tig lit a cigarette and settled in for a long wait. When were chicks ever quick when it came to shopping? After just fifteen minutes though, his cell rang. "Whassup doll?"

"Can you come in for a minute, I need your opinion."

"You're kidding."

"No. C'mon Tig, pleeeease."

"Okay, okay, don't go all fucking whiny on me."

Tig stormed into the shop. "You are seriously trying my patience… Shit."

"So what do you think?" Nikki twirled around. She had picked out a blue, fifties style, cocktail dress with a full skirt and a halter neck.

"Shit doll, you look… Shit." It suddenly occurred to Tig that he'd never seen her in anything other than jeans. "You look like a girl."

"That's good right?"

"Better than good. Hap's gonna cum in his pants."

"You've really got a way with words, Tigger."

Tig grinned as the shop assistant handed her a pair of blue court shoes that matched the dress exactly. "You got matching underwear as well?"

"You'll never know Tigger." She patted him on the chest. "You can go back outside if you like, I wont be long." He watched as she sashayed back to the dressing room, then turned to a jewelry display next to the counter. The assistant smiled and pulled out a silver necklace with a blue stone pendant. "This will match the dress and bring out the blue of her eyes."

Tig nodded. "Thanks doll. You got great taste." He gave her his best Tigger smile and watched as she melted under his gaze. "How 'bout I pick you up after work, take you for a spin on my Harley?"

"Tig!" Nikki barked. "I'm so sorry, he just can't help himself."

The assistant blushed. "It's okay, I don't mind."

"See doll, no one can resist old Tigger."

Nikki rolled her eyes and paid for her purchases. "I'll be outside."

Fifteen minutes later, he joined her, with a shit eating grin on his face.

"Oh Tig, you didn't?" She shook her head. "Fuck! You did, didn't you."

"A gentleman never tells. Where to now?"

"Victoria's secret, apparently it's just round the next corner."

Tig pulled up outside the store and Nikki dismounted. "Stay."

"You sure doll. I could help you pick something out if you want to model some stuff for me."

"I think I can manage."

Happy was playing pool with Quinn when Nikki and Tig returned. Quinn chuckled as they walked through the door, Tig's arm slung casually around her shoulder. "You really trust that sick fuck to be alone with your old lady?"

Happy shrugged. "Tig knows not to touch what aint his, an' Nik is all mine."

Nikki left Tig's side and slipped her arms under his cut. "Hey."

"Hey, you get everything you need?"

She nodded and looked over to Quinn who was watching them intently. "You okay?"

"I'm fine sweetheart. You really gonna marry that ugly son of a bitch."

"Yup." She smiled. "You coming to the wedding?"

"You want me there?"

She nodded. "Hap needs a best man. It should be you."

"What about Tig?"

"I kinda stole him."

"What as? A bridesmaid?"

Nikki giggled. "It's tempting. But no, I want him to give me away."

"Ah that explains why Hap's been plying me with drink all day." He bent and kissed her cheek. "Yep, I'll be there."

* * *

Happy stifled a gasp as he turned and watched as Nikki walked slowly up the aisle on Tig's arm, giggling as he whispered something inappropriate in her ear. She looked so beautiful. The dress she was wearing accentuated her curves and her hair cascaded around her shoulders in a mass of golden waves. He had always known she was beautiful, but as she walked slowly towards him, he regretted not having a big wedding. He would love his brothers to see what he was looking at right now.

Nikki walked slowly up the aisle, her arm through Tig's. She touched the necklace around her neck. "Thanks for this Tig. It's perfect."

Tig shrugged. "You're worth it doll. C'mon let's get you married." He gave her a little nudge. "Can't believe your marrying that fucker, before having a taste of Tig. You do know you'll never know what you're missing."

Nikki giggled and her eyes met Happy's. "I'll survive."

As she reached his side, Happy reached out and took her hand. "Hey Shorty. You look so beautiful." He turned to the preacher. "Let's do this."

The ceremony was over in minutes. It hadn't occurred to either of them to write their own vows. Neither of them were big on words. It was actions that counted. As Happy slipped on her ring, he bent and whispered in her ear, so low that only she could hear. "I love you Shorty."

They were man and wife. For ever. Tig and Quinn grinned as they kissed, focusing on only each other.

* * *

She'd expected to go back to the clubhouse after the ceremony but, yet again, Happy had surprised her. The motel he had chosen was just outside town, away from the bright lights. They fell onto the kingsize bed wrapped in each other's arms. Nikki kissed him passionately. "I love you Mr Lowman."

"That's good, Mrs Lowman, cos you're stuck with me now."

Nikki giggled. "There's worse things I could be stuck with." She gave a contented sigh as they started to fall asleep. Happy was giving her every thing she wished for.


	29. Chapter 29

I don't own sons of anarchy

HONEYMOON

Happy woke to the sound of the shower running. Stretching, he climbed out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. "Room for two in there?"

"Sure." Nikki pulled back the curtain. "Good morning husband." Her eyes ran up and down his torso. "You're looking particularly fine this morning."

Happy grinned as he stepped under the water and began nibbling at her neck. "Looking pretty good yourself."

Nikki started to lather the shower gel over his chest, moaning as his lips came crashing down on hers. Her arms found their way round his neck as he grabbed her legs and lifting her off her feet, pressed her against the shower wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he entered her, his fingers digging into the backs of her thighs. He wasn't going to last long he knew. With each thrust she clamped tighter until he could hold back no more. Happy thrust harder and harder as he felt her climax build. "Nikki. Shit." He sank his teeth into her shoulder, tasting blood as he came with a roar and his knees buckled under him.

Nikki slid down the wall and joined him on the shower floor. She cupped his face and kissed him. "Oh Hap, I love you so much. Promise me you'll never leave me."

Happy frowned. "You know I'll never leave you." He got back to his feet, pulling her up with him and switching off the shower, he grabbed a towel and wrapped it round her. "You are the best thing to ever happen to me. I love the club, always will. But now I have you as well." He pulled her closer. "Never thought I wanted an old lady till I met you. Didn't think I had it in me." He looked at the ground, struggling to find the words. "I thought it would make me weak."

Nikki pulled the towel from around her and started to dry him, her eyes never leaving his body. She knew every inch of him, every tiny detail of the ink that covered his body, every contour, every scar. "And now?"

"And now, I know it don't make me weak. Loving you makes me strong. Makes me fucking invincible." He picked her up and carried her to the bed. He laid back and pulled her onto his chest. "This. You an' me. It's forever."

He fell silent as he held her in his arms. Nikki closed her eyes and smiled. Tig had been right when he said that Happy didn't love easily. But when he did he gave it his all.

They had the room for another night and, other than to venture to the diner just down the street, they never left their bed. As usual, Happy's instincts were right. They had needed this time to reconnect. To remind themselves why they had fallen in love in the first place. Both were fully aware that as soon as they returned to Charming, life would start to intrude again. But they were strong, they would survive anything the world threw at them.

All too soon it was time to leave. Nikki rested her cheek against Happy's back, her arms around his waist and her hands pressed flat against his abdomen. She loved to feel his muscles tense and relax as he moved with the bike. He really was the most perfect specimen of manhood. She smiled and thanked whatever it was up there that he chose to love her.

Happy had decided that they would head straight home. With a following wind they would make it back to Charming in under seven hours. He knew it was a big ask of Nikki. But she was a good girl and would grit her teeth and suck it up.

By the time they reached Charming, Nikki's ass had lost all feeling, despite an hour long break in Bakersfield.

Once she stopped calling all the names under the sun for sneaking off and getting married, Sofia had hugged them both and made them promise to have a blessing with a proper priest as soon as she'd finished her chemo. They both felt lighter somehow as they rode away from the hospice, Sofia seemed better than she had for ages and her oncologist was pleased with her progress. Maybe there was light at the end of the tunnel.

Happy took them straight home, much to her relief. She knew he would have loved to have seen his brothers, but chose instead to have just one more night alone with her.

They sank in front of the TV for a night of pizza and beer. Nikki rested her head on his shoulder. "Gemma is going to kill us."

"Probably."

"I think I'm gonna have to let you take the blame."

"Huh, Gemma don't scare me. I'm a badass motherfucker."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that."

Happy chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "I'll be fine as long as you're watching my back."

"Always Hap."

AN.** Short and sweet, this time.**

**I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for their kind words. I really should thank you all personally but I am a bad, bad person. **

**I am so pleased you are enjoying reading this as much as I enjoy writing it. **

**Much love O xxxxx**


	30. Chapter 30

I don't own sons of anarchy

BUSTED

"Tigger! A word please."

Tig stopped in his tracks and braced himself for Gemma's onslaught. Fixing a smile to his face he turned in the direction of the sound of her three inch heels. "Gemma, what can I do for you?"

"How about you tell me all about that little trip of yours to Vegas."

Tig's grin got wider. "Oh you know what Vegas is like. Lost a fortune on the tables, indulged in some top class pussy." He shrugged. "Just what you'd expect really."

"Tigger.."

"Oh and I got to walk Nikki up the aisle."

Gemma scowled. "So the rumours are true. Just wait till I get my hands on that sneaky little bitch."

"Actually Gem, she knew nothing about it. Hap sprung it on her once they got there."

"But you knew?"

"Yep." He chuckled. "It was a close call, but I decided I'd rather piss you off than Hap. You're both scary motherfuckers, but Hap is more likely to kill me."

"Whereas I'll keep you alive."

Tig laughed and kissed her on the cheek. "You wont make me suffer, you love me too much."

Gemma rolled her eyes. "Do you know how long that tattooed bastard is staying in Charming?"

"Probably until after the blood run at the end of the month. You're plotting aint ya?"

"Maybe." She grinned. "Happy aint the only sneaky fucker around here."

"Any excuse for a party, eh? Just bare in mind that Nikki aint much of a party animal." He frowned at Gemma's expression. "Just try and keep whatever you've got in mind low key."

Gemma huffed and turned on her heel. "I'm not completely insensitive you know." She shot over her shoulder as she stalked back to her office. "And you…" The stuck out her finger. "Keep your mouth shut."

Tig rolled his eyes and with a sigh headed back to his bay. Despite Gemma's threat, he would have to give Happy a head's up. Neither he or Nikki would relish being the centre of attention so the least he could do is give them some sort of warning. At the first opportunity, he walked into the cool of the clubhouse and pulled out his cell. "Hap?"

"Wassup man?" Happy was in the process of taking his bike apart, it had done thousands of miles this year and was in desperate need of a service.

"Thought I'd better let you know, Gemma has got wind of your wedding."

"She pissed? Nikki gonna get a hard time?"

"Nah, Gemma's all hot air. She is planning on something though."

"Shit. Nik aint gonna want a big party. Talk to her man."

"I tried, but it looks like your old lady might have to suck this one up. She'll be cool."

Happy sighed. "Yeah she will, but it don't mean she'll like it."

As soon as Nikki got in from work, Happy sat her down. "Tig called. Gemma's planning on throwing us a surprise party. You want me to talk to her?"

She shook her head. "It's just one night. Let Gem have her fun."

Happy kissed her. "You sure?"

"Yeah, trying to stop Gemma is like trying to stop the tide. It's best we act all surprised and shit, or she'll know Tig tipped you off." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "You never know, it might actually be fun."

They didn't have long to wait to find out. Gemma had excelled herself and organized the party in record time. In less than a week they pulled on to the TM lot and gazed around at the huge number of bikes parked there. Nikki took a deep breath. "Shit, I guess she ignored Tig's advice about keeping things low key."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, lets do this." She slipped her hand into his and they walked towards the clubhouse.

Happy kept a tight grip on her hand as he pushed the door open and they were hit with an almighty cheer.

Gemma pushed her way to the front of the crowd and grabbed Nikki by the hand. "Hi sweetheart. Congratulations. Come with me, there's a whole bunch of people just dying to meet the woman that netted the killer." She grinned at Happy. "Don't worry I'll take good care of her. Go and have some fun." The next hour passed in a whirl of kisses and hugs from old ladies and sons alike. Nikki looked across the clubhouse, trying and failing to locate Happy. "Stop looking so worried, Hap will find you." Gemma handed her a large vodka. "How about you try to relax and enjoy yourself."

Nikki sighed. "I'm fine Gem, was just wondering where Hap was."

"He's having fun, which is what you should be doing."

"Okay Gem, I get it." She took a huge swig of her drink. "See I'm getting in the party spirit." Gemma nodded her approval and stalked off to boss someone else around.

As soon as Gemma disappeared, Nikki took the opportunity to escape outside into the fresh air. She found herself a seat on one of the picnic benches away from the clubhouse and the crowds and lit a cigarette. She wasn't anti social but she had never really liked big crowds, especially when they were made up of total strangers. If it had just been the Charming sons, she would have been fine, but right now, surrounded by so many strange faces, she was feeling overwhelmed and all she needed right now was a little peace and quiet.

"You okay darling?"

She turned as Quinn walked over and sat next to her. "Yeah, not much of a party animal." She smiled at the big nomad. "Just need to stay out of Gemma's crosshairs for a while."

Quinn chuckled. "I get that. So how's married life? Do I have to worry about you bitching at Hap to settle in Charming?"

Ah so that was what this was about. Nikki shrugged. "I'm not gonna lie to you Quinn. I hate that Hap is away so much and every time he packs his bags I'm filled with dread that I'm never gonna see him again. But it was his decision to go nomad and if he decides to patch into another charter, here or elsewhere, that will be his decision as well, not mine." She turned to where a crowd was gathering to watch Tig and a Tucson son slug it out in the ring. "Hap might be my husband but he'll always be a son first."

Quinn grinned. "Good to hear. C'mon, Hap's bound to be around somewhere, he wont wanna miss a fight." He slipped his arm around her shoulders and led her to where Happy was giving Tig advice on how to kick his opponent's ass.

Happy turned as his president and his girl approached. She left Quinn's side and slipped her arms under his cut. "Hey."

"Hey Shorty. Gonna cheer Tig on?"

"He don't need my support. Right Tiggy?"

"Got that right doll, I'm gonna kick his ass." Tig kissed her on the cheek. "Always good to know you're in my corner, though."

"Always Tigger."

As she stood with her back against happy watching the fight, his arms wrapped around her, Nikki no longer minded the crowds of strangers. It was easy to be brave when she was loved by Happy.


	31. Chapter 31

I don't own sons of anarchy

NOMAD

Nikki sat on the bench in the back yard taking deep breaths and blinking away the tears that were pricking the back of her eyes. She'd known that it was coming, that he would be leaving again. But when she'd walked in and found him cleaning his guns on the kitchen table, it was like a slap in the face. It had been over a month, the longest they had been together in nearly a year and it was starting to feel, for want of a better word, normal. She had hoped that she'd get some sort of warning, not that it would make it any easier but at least she wouldn't have gone to pieces like this.

"Hey." Happy poked his head round the door. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I just need a minute." She gave in a tiny smile as he sat next to her and lit a cigarette.

"I'm sorry to spring this on you, but I just got the call today. It's all gone to shit in Tacoma, they're gonna need some extra muscle for a while." He brushed a stray hair away from her face. "If there was any other way, you know I'd take it."

"I know Hap. I just got used to having you around." Resting her head lightly on his shoulder, she looked out over the yard. "When you leaving?"

"In the morning, early."

She took one final deep breath and slowly got to her feet, holding out her hand to him. "Time for one more ride?"

"Always." He grinned. "Got anywhere in mind?"

Nikki shook her head. "Don't care, I just need.." She couldn't continue, the lump in her throat was too big. Happy stood and pressed his lips onto the top of her head. "I know Shorty. Me too."

As Happy's Dyna sped along the empty highway, hugging every curve, He allowed himself a small smile. Nikki loved to ride almost as much as him. She understood fully the pull of the open road and the thrill of travelling at high speed. He reached his left hand back and squeezed her leg. "Wanna head back?"

She didn't, not really. "Okay."

Instead of taking her straight home, he headed for TM. Nikki suppressed a sigh. She had hoped that they would get to spend the evening alone. She wasn't surprised, however. Happy would want the chance to say goodbye to his brothers.

"We'll be quick, I promise." He winked and with his girl's hand in his, strutted to the clubhouse.

Tig was just about to sink the eight ball when the door opened and Happy and Nikki walked in. He straightened up and watched as Happy hugged Bobby and Chibs, his girl hanging back gnawing on her bottom lip. It was clear from her expression that she was struggling with him going back on the road. He potted the ball, shooting a look of triumph at a defeated Juice, and marched over to where she was standing and planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek. "You really hate this, dontcha?"

She nodded. "Does that make me a selfish bitch?"

"Don't be stupid. You love him, of course you're gonna fret when he goes on the road." He led her to the bar and grabbed them a couple of beers. "He's good at what he does. You know that don't you?"

"I know. Doesn't mean he can't get hurt though."

Tig nodded, she wasn't stupid and he wasn't going to lie to her. "It's always a possibility. But Hap don't take risks." He chuckled at her sceptical expression. "Okay, he don't take unnecessary risks, and like I said, he's good. The best. Trust me doll, He'll come back to you whole."

"I know. It doesn't stop me missing him though." She sighed. "Doesn't stop me worrying either."

Happy stood a short distance away listening to their exchange. He loved being a nomad. He wasn't big on politics, didn't want to be an officer. He was a soldier, through and through. A man of action. The most important thing to him was family. His club, his ma and his old lady. Happy sighed, he was doing what was best for his ma and his club. Unfortunately by doing that he was hurting Nikki. "It aint for ever." He pulled her into his arms. "I promise."

"I know." Nikki rested her forehead against his chest. Tig patted Happy on the shoulder. "I'll look out for her man."

Happy nodded. "Appreciate it brother." He ran his fingers through her hair. "Wanna go home?" Nikki nodded and followed him to his bike.

Later, as she lay in his arms, she knew she had to ask. "Hap, what you do. It's not just about your mom is it?" She raised herself up on her elbows so she could look at his face. "I can see it in your eyes, when you climb on your bike, and earlier, when you were cleaning your guns. It's like something comes over you." She struggled to find the right words. "A calmness. I don't…. I don't want to be a complication, a distraction."

"You aint." Happy frowned and pulled her onto his chest. "Yeah, I love that I do what I do for the club. An' I love that it means I can take care of my ma. But most of all I love that I have you to come home to." His hand snaked round to the back of her neck and he kissed her fiercely. "You aint a complication and you aint a distraction. You give me focus. Having you motivates me, makes it even more important that I do my job properly."

Nikki ran her fingers across the tattoo that ran along his collar bone. "It's everything to you." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah. You, ma, my brothers. Gotta take care of you all, keep you safe." Her fingers lingered over the word 'die' and he gave a short laugh. "I do that better if I'm alive. I know how tough this is on you, little girl, and it kills me that it's you that's suffering here, but it looks like ma's responding well to treatment and with any luck she'll be able to go home soon and when she does, I promise I'll patch into any charter you want and we can settle down and be a boring old married couple."

Nikki laughed. "Don't think we'll ever be that." She closed her eyes, lulled by the steady thump of his heart. "All I ask is that you come back in one piece."

"You got my word, Shorty."


	32. Chapter 32

I don't own sons of anarchy

STILL IN ONE PIECE

Nikki had taken to going to bed in one of Happy's T shirts, the lingering scent of cigarette smoke, motor oil and deodorant helped to lull her to sleep. She hated herself for being such a pussy. She was an old lady now, and old ladies were tough. They didn't cry themselves to sleep when their old men were away. Nikki wasn't tough, she cried into her pillow and stared at her phone for what seemed like hours on end, willing it to ring. Gemma helped, keeping her occupied with baking lessons or just listening when Nikki needed to vent. But despite all her little coping mechanisms as the days turned into weeks the feeling of emptiness grew.

Gemma frowned as she watched Hap's girl stir her coffee listlessly. "You gonna stay for dinner, sweetheart?"

"You sure you don't mind?"

"Wouldn't ask if I did. Can't have Hap coming home to a bag of bones."

Nikki rolled her eyes. While it was true she may have lost a little weight while he was away -it hardly seemed worth cooking for one- she was hardly skinny. "Okay then, thanks." She looked up as Clay and Jax walked in, hanging their cuts on the pegs by the door and dropping their keys and guns into the basket on the sideboard. "Hey."

Clay smiled. "Hey darling, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He nodded, it was clear to a blind man that she was far from fine. He pulled up a chair. "Got some guys going up to Tacoma on a charity run in a couple of days, there's room in the van for a little one."

Nikki felt her heart quicken. "I'd love to."

"I'm waiting for the famous Nikki 'but.' C'mon darling, you've had a face like a slapped ass for weeks."

"I need to talk to Happy first."

"Yeah cos he aint gonna wanna see ya. Nik, sweetheart. The guy is crazy about you." He chuckled at the expression on her face and pulled out his cell. "Quinn, man. Is Hap with you?" He winked at Nikki. "Thought we might squeeze his old lady into the van on the next run up north." He threw his head back and roared with laughter. "Yeah that's what I thought. See ya at the end of the week." He hung up and turned to Nikki. "Okay we're all set. You need to book a week off work."

"Okay." There seemed no point in arguing.

"Don't look so worried, darling. According to Quinn, Hap's even more miserable than you."

Two days later, Nikki found herself squashed between Juice and the new prospect, Kip, as they waited for the Redwood and Vegas charters to pull out. They were splitting the journey over two days, using a campsite in Oregon as an overnight stop off point before heading to Tacoma and the charity fundraiser in the morning. To her relief she wasn't the only woman on the run. Several old ladies had opted to join their men and there was a light hearted, family feel as they all pulled off the TM lot. Nikki was swinging between excitement and apprehension. She would have liked to have spoken to Happy first, but he had been on his way back from Alaska and his cell had been turned off. She really wanted to see him, but despite Clay's reassurances, she was worried he'd think she was being too clingy. She sighed. This was the problem with spending too much time apart, they started second guessing each other.

The campsite they had chosen was deep in a forest, with a small, shallow river running through it. Nikki climbed out of the van and stretched, trying to ease her aching muscles. She started as she was grabbed from behind. Looking down she saw two large hands, the fingers bedecked with ornate rings, resting on her hips. "Hey Tigger. You gonna help me put up my tent?"

"No need, doll." He turned her round and pointed to his left. There leaning on his bike with a huge grin on his face was Happy.

"Hap!" Nikki started to run towards him and threw herself into his arms. "Oh god, Hap, I missed you so much." She breathed him in, eyes tightly closed, her face pressed against his chest.

"I missed you too." With his hand under her chin, he brought her face up to his and kissed her hard, forcing her lips apart, his tongue plunging into her mouth. Finally they came up for air. "So, Shorty. Wanna go somewhere a bit more private?"

"Sounds like a plan."

She expected him to get back on his bike but instead, he took her hand and they walked deeper into the trees, away from the crowds. As they walked, Nikki surreptitiously studied him. He looked tired, his skin stretched across his face and dark shadows under his eyes. There was something else, something about the way he was holding himself, the way he'd grunted when she'd thrown herself at him. Happy turned and frowned. "You got that look on your face again."

"You're hurting, Hap." She cocked her head. "Gonna deny it?"

He shook his head. "Took a boot to the chest, got a couple of cracked ribs, is all. It's all cool, Shorty, trust me, the fucker aint gonna be kicking anyone soon." He chuckled. "Hard to kick with a shattered kneecap."

Nikki gripped his hand tighter. "Can we not have this conversation."

Happy rolled his eyes. "Pussy." He pushed her up against a tree. "It was just a bit of shit kicking." He grinned wickedly. "To be honest, it was fun."

As his lips came crashing down onto hers, Nikki wondered briefly how it was that their relationship worked. The woman who hadn't hit anyone since she'd had a fight with her brother aged ten, and the hitman who thought that getting in a fight that resulted in broken ribs and shattered kneecaps was fun.

"Nikki, baby. Stop fucking thinking."

"I…Oh okay. How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Know what I'm thinking."

"Let's just say, Shorty. You'd make a lousy poker player. Now shut up and do your wifely duties."

"Here?"

He shrugged and pointed to where he'd pitched a small tent in a clearing, away from everyone else. "Gotta maintain your modesty. You might wanna keep the noise down, though. Don't need to alert the park rangers."

"Asshole." She grabbed his hand and dragged him to the tent. "Get in there and get naked."

Many people would have said that Happy was a cold unfeeling man, but as Nikki laid in his arms on the, surprisingly comfortable, air bed under a cosy quilt, she knew those people were wrong. Not only had he made sure that she would be as comfortable as possible, but when he had made love to her, he left her in no doubt how much he loved her and had missed her. She ran her hand gently across the huge, multi coloured, bruise on his side. "Did you get that looked at?"

"No need. It'll heal just fine." He ran his fingers through her hair. "Don't worry, Shorty, I'm still in one piece."


	33. Chapter 33

I don't own sons of anarchy

QUALITY TIME

Nikki lay, eyes closed, listening to the wind rustling through the trees intersected with the sound of Happy's snores. In the distance she could hear the guys in the main camp waking up. A cacophony of coughs and groans as a bunch of middle aged men stretched their aching muscles and lit their first cigarettes of the day. With a sigh, she rolled over and snuggled into Happy's shoulder. He stirred and pulled her closer. "Mornin' Shorty." Nikki smiled and started to nibble along his jaw line. "Do you think we'll have time for a quickie?"

She soon got her answer as the sound of footsteps pushing through the long grass reached their ears. "Okay, you two, stop whatever it is you're doing. I'm coming in." Tig unzipped the tent and poked his head inside. "You decent?"

Nikki scowled. "I suppose there are rules about killing a fellow son."

Happy smirked. "Yeah, although there are probably exceptions when it comes to Tig."

"Now you know you don't want me dead. What would you do without me?" He opened the tent further and squeezed himself into the small space. "Move your legs, doll." He pulled out a packet of cigarettes and passed one to Happy and moved to light his own. Nikki sat up and pulled it out of his mouth. "Go and smoke that outside. Jesus, Tig. Doesn't personal space mean anything to you?"

"Not really, Nik." Tig laughed, but complied. "The old ladies are cooking breakfast." He gave her a pointed look. "The good old ladies, that is."

Happy grinned. "Oh Nik's doing everyone a favour by staying here. Don't want to give anyone food poisoning."

"I've been having lessons, actually. I'm quite the chef, these days." She pushed Tig further out of the tent and zipped it back up. "I need to pee." She pulled on her jeans then crawled outside, blinking in the bright sunlight. Pushing her feet into her boots, she straightened up. "I'll leave you men to pack up the tent." She kissed Tig on the end of his nose. "You better hurry up, you don't want to miss out on the bacon."

Happy rolled his eyes. "One of these days I'll put that bitch in her place." he crawled out of the tent and pulled on his jeans. "Just not today." Tig laughed then frowned as Happy winced as he put on his cut and pulled a bottle of pills from the inside pocket.

"Oxy? Shit. What you do?"

"Couple of cracked ribs. Aint too bad." Happy shrugged and immediately regretted it as the pain in his side flared.

"Bad enough to take oxy. Shit man you gonna ride with your girl on that stuff? She…."

"Aint your old lady. This aint your business Tigger." He opened the bottle and dry swallowed just one tablet. "I just need to take the edge off is all. You really think I'd risk getting my girl hurt?"

"No, I'm sorry man. I should've known better. C'mon let's get this shit packed away, 'fore they eat everything."

They pulled down the tent and packed it away in silence before walking towards the enticing smells emanating from the main camp. Tig watched his friend as he walked towards his girl. He and Happy had been friends and brothers for a long time and nobody had been more surprised than him when he'd taken an old lady. He wondered briefly if he had become too involved, too invested. He had spent a lot of time with Nikki while Happy was away, and they'd grown close. There was nothing sexual about their relationship - he would never cross that line and Nikki only had eyes for her man - but he did feel responsible for her. As much, if not more, as he did for Gemma. He knew, deep down that Happy would never risk his girl getting hurt and he worried that he might think he'd overstepped the mark. Tig shook his head as they both looked over, grinning like a pair of idiots. He walked over to them and throwing his arms round their shoulders he accompanied them to where one of the old ladies was passing out plates of scrambled eggs and bacon.

The ride to Tacoma was uneventful and they made good time. Nikki was careful not to hold on too tight, Happy's ribs were clearly more painful than he was letting on. She sighed. In the short time she had known him, he had been shot, stabbed and now he had busted ribs. Although she tried to bury it, every so often, the reality of what he was, what he did, come along and bit her on the ass.

They were all meeting up at a large park on the outskirts of town. The place was packed with bikers, mostly sons, but quite a few civilians as well and there was a family atmosphere, with stalls selling food and bike paraphernalia as well as a stage and, of course, a beer tent. Nikki followed Happy, her hand gripping his, as he strolled around greeting old friends and checking out stalls.

"Happy!" They both turned as Quinn strutted towards them, a beer in his hand and a huge grin on his face. Nikki gasped. Quinn's face looked like it had been used as a punch bag. He roared with laughter at the look on her face. "You should see the other guy, sweetheart." He bent and kissed her on the cheek. "Mind it I borrow your man for a minute?"

She shook her head and pointed to a bench. "I'll be over there." As she sat on the bench she wondered, not for the first time, whether Quinn really wanted to talk business or whether this was his way of exerting his authority. There was just something about the man that she couldn't quite put her finger on. He was always friendly enough, but she just had a feeling that he didn't like her.

"Hey doll. Where's Hap?" Tig sat on the bench next to her.

"Talking to Quinn."

Tig nodded but said nothing. He just sat there staring at the crowds, comforting her with his presence. Had they been alone or even at the clubhouse in Charming, he would have put his arm around her. But here, surrounded by sons from other charters, it would be deemed inappropriate. "Don't look so worried doll, Quinn just wants to remind you how big his dick is."

Nikki nodded. "I know. Still stings though."

Tig grinned. "There really aint much that gets past you is there?"

"Meaning?"

"The way you read people." He chuckled. "You an' Hap, you both do it. You sit back and take it all in."

"Do we? I never really thought about it before. I think maybe it comes from travelling alone. You have to trust your instincts."

"Nomad thing." He smiled at her raised eyebrows. "Nomads spend long periods on the road alone, without their brothers to fall back on. They learn to trust their gut." They both looked up as Happy approached and held out his hand to his girl.

"Was thinking, you aint gonna wanna crash in a clubhouse full of stinky old bikers. There's a motel just down the road, how 'bout we book in there?"

If Nikki grinned any wider, she would have split her face in half. She stood and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Now?"

"Now."

They had two days before she would have to head back to Charming. Happy would be staying in Tacoma for a while. The threat from a rival MC hadn't been completely eliminated and until they had removed -in Lee's words- that Mickey Mouse MC, he would be sticking around.

Nikki smiled as she joined her man under the shower. Two days wasn't long, but if they couldn't have quantity, they could always have quality. And she just loved quality time with her man.


	34. Chapter 34

I don't own sons of anarchy

WEDGE

Happy opened his eyes and sat up, gritting his teeth against the pain in his side. It was easing, but still hurt like a bitch, probably not helped by the twentyfour hour marathon sex session they'd indulged in. He grinned as his eyes fell on Nikki, still sleeping, her lips swollen and bite marks covering her neck and tits. Bitch would probably wake up more sore than him. He debated waking her up, then shook his head. No he'd let her sleep for a few minutes more. He swung his legs and shuffled to the shower past the empty pizza boxes and soda cans. The hot water eased his aching muscles and made him feel human again.

Nikki stretched and frowned at the empty space next to her. She sat up and climbed out of bed, wincing slightly. Shit she was sore. She couldn't stop the smile from spreading over her face, it was so worth the pain. "Hap?"

She limped to the bathroom. "Shit Hap, I think you broke me."

"You better get in here then. Let me kiss you better." Happy grinned, she didn't hesitate. It didn't matter how sore she was, she really couldn't get enough of him. Grabbing the shower gel, he slowly began to lather it all over her body. Nikki moaned as his rough hands gently moved all over her body. "Oh god, Hap, that feels so good." She turned and pressed her body up against his.

"Nik, you're gonna have to stop doing that, unless you want me to… Oh." He grinned as she started to grind up against him. "Guess you're feeling better then."

Happy was still grinning as they packed ready to head off to the Samtac clubhouse, both moving a little stiffly, careful not to make any sudden moves. She really was a horny little bitch. "Hey you all done?"

"Nikki cast her eyes quickly around the room and picked up her rucksack. "Yep. Ready to go." She smiled brightly, trying desperately to fight the tears that were threatening to fall.

Happy gently touched her cheek. "You okay?" It was a stupid question, he knew. Each time got a little harder. He wasn't blind. The fear of losing him was written all over her face. Every injury he sustained, reinforced that fear.

Nikki swallowed and nodded. This was the game they had been playing for the last year. She would pretend she was fine and he would pretend to believe her. "I'm good. C'mon the guys will be wanting to head off back to Charming soon."

Most of the charters had already left and the clubhouse was relatively quiet when they arrived. Nikki looked around, even half the Redwood crew had gone, only Kip, Juice, Bobby and Tig remained. She was worried they may have been pissed with having to wait for her but seeing them engrossed in a poker game, barely acknowledging their presence eased her fears.

"Hap, Nik. Over here." Kozic was leaning on the bar, his arm around a busty brunette. He slapped her behind. "Go get three beers then disappear." The woman gave him a dirty look but did as she was told. Despite his easy going demeanour, thet Tacoma sergeant at arms wasn't someone you fucked with. "Hey kids." Kozic treated them to one of his killer grins and grabbed Nikki's left hand. "So it's true. You actually married that mean faced son of a bitch."

"Yep." Nikki's grin matched his. "Jealous?"

"Completely, I wanted to marry him myself."

Happy rolled his eyes. "Funny fucker." He looked over to Lee who was sitting with his VP, Lorca. "Be back in a sec. Stay with Koz." He kissed her briefly and stalked over to join them.

They stood with their backs to the bar watching the discussion taking place. They couldn't hear the words over the loud rock music, but it was clear from their body language that things were getting heated. Nikki frowned. "That don't look good. Lee looks pissed."

Kozic shrugged. "Power struggle. Lorca's making a power play." If she had tried to discuss it with Tig or Happy, she'd have been told in no uncertain terms that it wasn't her business and to butt out. Kozic however was different, while he'd never share details that he thought would compromise the club or her safety, he believed that it was better for old ladies to know a little about what was going on. "Is that going to cause a problem for Happy?"

"Nah, Hap don't involve himself in politics. Just goes where he's sent and does as he's told."

Nikki nodded and Kozic slung his arm around her shoulder and kissed her on the cheek. "Don't you worry about your man, I'll take good care of him." They fell silent and watched as the three men headed off into the chapel to carry on their discussion in private.

"Hey, take you hands off her!" They both looked up as Tig came storming over towards them and, grabbing Nikki's arm, pulled her from Kozic's side. "Tig! He wasn't doing anything."

Tig scowled at her. "Get out side. Now." He turned and pushed Kozic in the chest. "You really think Hap's gonna be okay with you laying your slimey hands on his woman?"

Kozic pushed back. "Well from what I hear you been getting a taste while he's been away."

Nikki was horrified. "Kozic! How could you?"

Tig smirked. "See doll. That piece of shit can't be trusted. Pretending to be all friendly and shit, when all the time he's trying to get inside you."

Kozic lunged at Tig, both men crashing into a table and Nikki was shoved unceremoniously across the room, falling against the rock hard chest of Quinn. He grabbed her by the upper arms and spinning her round, marched her outside. "Might've known this was down to you."

"I haven't done anything."

"So you weren't pushing up on Kozic then? Cos it sure as shit looks like you were."

"No!" Nikki was horrified. "I would never do that."

Quinn turned to the sound of yelling. He pushed Nikki against the van. "Stay here. You've caused enough trouble." He pointed his finger at her. "It's 'bout time Happy reined your shit in."

Nikki opened her mouth then closed it again. Arguing with him wouldn't help her cause at all. She cast her eyes downward as he turned on his heel and marched back into the clubhouse.

Happy rushed out of church as soon as he heard the sounds of a fight. He knew it would be Tig and Kozic and that his girl could easily get caught in the middle of their latest battle. He scanned the room his concern growing. Nikki was nowhere to be seen. "Hey." He grabbed Juice by the shoulder. "Where's Nikki?"

"I dunno man. She was talking to Koz."

"I know, dickhead, I left her with him."

Juice frowned. "I think maybe Quinn might've took her outside. He definitely grabbed her as soon as they kicked off." He shook his head. "Haven't seen her since."

Happy gave a single nod and marched to the front doors, ignoring the chaos around him as Tig and Kozic tried to kill each other.

Nikki was standing, hugging herself with her back pressed against the van. Happy crossed the lot and stood in front of her. "Nik, did those idiots hurt you? Cos if they did…"

"No." Her voice was tiny. And when he reached out and touched her, he could feel her trembling.

"Nik?" He pulled her into his arms. "You gonna tell me what happened?"

She buried her face into his chest. "I don't know. One minute I was talking to Kozic, the next Tig was accusing him of pushing up on me." She took a deep, shuddering breath. "We were just talking. Why would he say that? And then Kozic said…. He said that every one knew that me and Tig." She could feel herself getting hysterical. "We haven't done anything. We wouldn't ever…."

"Hey." Happy held her at arms length and looked deep into her eyes. "Nikki, calm down."

"But."

"No, Nik, listen to me. I trust you. Tig and Koz are just using you as an excuse for their latest fight. This is how they are, it aint got nothing to do with you." He frowned. "There's more aint there?"

Nikki looked away. "I wasn't pushing up on Koz."

"Didn't think, for one minute that you were. Shit this was Quinn wasn't it?" He let go of her and turned to go back in the clubhouse. Nikki grabbed his arm. "Hap wait, please. Just stay with me."

"Sure baby." Happy pulled her back into his arms. She would be leaving soon and he wasn't going to waste a minute of the remaining time they had. Quinn could wait.


	35. Chapter 35

I don't own sons of anarchy

NOT HAPPY

Happy stood with his arms wrapped round his girl fighting the urge to hit someone. Hard. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this angry. Strangely most of his anger was directed at Tig. As usual he was the catalyst, it was his actions that had made girl sad. And when Nikki got sad Happy got mad.

"Hap." Nikki's voice was muffled against his chest. "Please, I don't want you going against your brothers because of this."

"You really think I'm gonna let this go?" He shook his head. "Tig put his beef with Kozic above your wellbeing and Koz and Quinn both practically accused you of cheating. I can't let them get away with that." He ran his fingers through her hair. "This isn't just about you. How do you think it would look if I just stood by and let them disrespect you. What sort of old man would that make me?"

Nikki sighed. "You're right, I guess. But Koz and Quinn. You need them watching your back. Not mad at you."

Happy gave a short bark of a laugh. "Don't matter what our beef is, they'll always have my back. Tig hates Koz but he'd still take a bullet for him and vice versa. We're sons, brothers. It's what we do."

"Family." Nikki got that. She sighed. "I'm sorry I've put you in this position."

"Hey, none of this is your fault."

The sounds of yelling in the clubhouse died down. Someone had obviously split up the warring brothers. Neither of them moved. They needed this, Neither were verbose, they understood each other without words and right now, they both needed to hold each other before they were ripped apart again.

It was only when the clubhouse doors opened that they pulled apart. Bobby walked through followed by a disgruntled Tig holding an ice pack to his swollen eye. "I only need one eye to see. I can ride just fine, there's no way I'm gonna let that retard ride my bike."

Happy turned and marched over to Tig, pulling back his arm he punched him square on the other eye. Tig staggered backwards and landed on his ass. "What the fuck was that for."

"That was for making my girl sad." He grabbed him by the cut and pulled him back onto his feet and punched him again, this time on the nose. "And that one's for pissing me off."

Nikki gasped as Tig's nose exploded under Happy's fist. As she ran forward to intervene she was halted by Bobby. "Woah, woah. Happy needs this." He chuckled. "And Tig deserves it. Looks like he's got no choice now. There's no way he's riding back to Charming in that condition." They watched as Happy led him to one of the picnic benches and sat him down. Someone passed him a wad of paper towels that he pressed against Tig's ruined nose. "Stay." He turned and held out his hand to Nikki. "Don't look so worried Shorty, 's all good, right Tiggy?"

Tig grunted. "Yeah peachy." He scowled as Juice sauntered over and held out his hand. "Keys."

"Fuck you, told ya, there's no way you're taking my bike."

"Look man I aint gonna hurt it. You either let me take it or stay here with Kozic. There aint enough room in the van."

Tig knew when he was beat. "Fine. But one scratch and I swear…"

Juice took the keys with a grin. "Whatever."

Happy smirked and led Nikki to the van. He opened the door for her and gave her one final passionate kiss. "Don't be too rough on Tig. He really does care about you."

Nikki rolled her eyes. "Says the man who just busted his nose."

Happy sniggered. "Ah, that was done with love."

"If you say so." She stood on tiptoes and kissed him softly. "Can I give him a little bit of a hard time?"

"Oh I'm counting on it." He helped her into the van, they could put this off, no longer. "Take care, Baby." He touched her cheek then turned and helped his, slightly concussed, brother to the van.

Tig turned as reached the van. "I'm sorry man, I didn't mean to disrespect your girl."

"I know brother, but it aint me you should be apologising to."

"She's pissed aint she."

"Yep."

Tig nodded and climbed into the van. He opened his mouth to speak then shut it again as she turned and glared at him. Kip climbed into the driver's seat with a sigh. This was going to be a long journey.

Happy stood and watched as the van pulled away then turned and walked back into the clubhouse to where Quinn was leaning on the bar. "Think we need to have a little chat, brother."

"That gash of yours been flapping her mouth."

Happy's hand shot out and grabbed Quinn's throat. "With the greatest respect _pres._" He spat, squeezing his throat a little harder. "I have always been loyal to you, and my old lady." He squeezed some more to emphasize his point. "Has always been respectful."

The big nomad grabbed Happy's wrist. "You need to back off, brother. Remember who you are talking to."

Happy removed his hand. "I would never disrespect your position, you should know that." He sighed. "Just didn't think you'd hold it over me."

"There's always the ring."

"Not this time. This aint about me getting satisfaction."

"So what do you want?"

Happy shrugged. "An explanation would be a start."

"Nomads and old ladies don't mix. The last thing you need is to get bent outta shape over some bitch back home."

"Shit Quinn. You got 'mommy issues' or something. When have I never been able to do my job? I went nomad cos my ma is sick and I need the money to take care of her. You know that. She gets well, I settle in a charter."

"And if you didn't have the Mrs back home?"

Happy shrugged. "Irrelevant."

"Is it? This isn't personal, Hap. I quite like your girl. But we need good men like you."

"Well putting pressure on Nikki aint gonna help your cause. She deserves better, Quinn." He turned and leaning with his back against the bar and looked out across to where a prospect was sweeping up the debris. "None of that shit earlier was her fault. I left her with Kozic and she got caught up with his and Tig's pissing contest. She was not pushing up on him."

"Okay, okay. I get it. I was out of line. I apologize." He gave a half smile. "Aint gonna change my opinion on nomads an' old ladies, but I will back off her."

Happy nodded. "Guess that'll have to do." He looked around. "Where's Kozic?"

"In a dorm licking his wounds, I reckon. He next on your hit list?"

Happy shrugged. "I can wait."

You could cut the atmosphere in the van with a knife. Tig closed his eyes. His nose had stopped bleeding but his head was pounding and he still had double vision. Nikki sighed and reaching into her bag, she pulled out a pack of advil and a bottle of water. "Here."

"Thanks doll." He took the pills. "You gonna stay pissed with me."

"For now."

"But you will forgive me."

"I love your big stupid, impulsive, psychopathic ass. So yeah I will forgive you. Just not today."

They fell silent for a while. Kip kept his eyes on the road, trying to stay out of Tig's crosshairs. Nikki closed her eyes and Tig nudged her. "Was thinking, doll. Maybe you could defer being pissed with me until we get home, we got a long trip ahead of us and I'd really appreciate it if you could be my little buddy for the journey."

Nikki sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. "Fine, you're going to keep on bitching at me till I cave aint ya?"

"Got that right doll." He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her against his chest. "Sorry I was such a douche. But I really don't trust that blonde asshole."

"Gonna tell me why?"

He kissed the top of her head. "Nope."

As she rested her head against his chest, Nikki allowed herself a small smile. "Asshole."

Kip and Nikki split the driving between them, -neither of them trusting Tig in his current state- and got back to Charming in thirteen hours. The first thing she did when she got in was call Happy. "Hey, I'm home."

"Wow you made pretty good time. So how long was it before you forgave Tig."

"Not long. I tried to stay mad at him but he was all pathetic and bleeding and shit."

"And you love him."

"Yeah. Not as much as you though."

"Well that goes without saying. I'm gonna go now, let you get some sleep. Night Shorty."

"Night Hap, I love you."

"Yeah, you too."

Nikki smiled as she got herself ready for bed. They might be apart more than they were together and she'd probably never hear him tell her he loved her again. But she truly wouldn't swap what she had with him for anything. Despite all the shit they went though, she felt lucky, privileged. The man she loved would die for her, as would his friends. She really did love these crazy psycho bikers.


	36. Chapter 36

I don't own sons of anarchy

BOSTON

Tig looked up from under the hood of the car he was working on, he would know the sound of Nikki's jeep anywhere. She was surrounded by mechanics and petrol heads yet still insisted on driving around in that rusty heap of crap. He wiped his hands and walked over to where she was parked, next to Gemma's caddy. He frowned, even from this distance he could see something was wrong.

"Hey doll, you okay?"

She looked up at him, her eyes red rimmed from crying. "No, Tig, I don't think I am." She took a deep, shuddering breath. "I just got a call from back home. My dad's dead."

"Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry." Tig pulled her into a hug. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Actually, that's why I'm here. I'm gonna need a ride to the airport. I've got a flight leaving Oakland at nine this evening."

"Okay, doll. I can do that." He frowned. "Have you called Hap?"

She shook her head. "He's in Canada, got enough to worry about without me bothering him. It's not like there's anything he can do."

Tig nodded and held her a little tighter. "Whatever you think is best doll." He glanced at the clock on the wall. "Why don't you go home and get yourself ready an' I'll pick you up from yours in a couple of hours?"

"Okay, thanks Tig. See you later."

They drove to the airport in silence. Nikki was lost in thought and Tig didn't want to intrude. He couldn't ever remember her talking about her family, but he guessed that didn't mean she didn't love them.

He parked his truck outside the departure lounge. "You want me to wait with you?"

"No I'm okay." She leant over and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for the ride. Please don't say anything to Hap."

"You want me to lie to a brother?"

"Only by omission."

"Technicality, doll." He returned the kiss. "Call me when you get there. Take care, sweetheart."

As the plane climbed into the sky, Nikki closed her eyes. She couldn't quite wrap her head around the fact that her dad wasn't going to be around any more. She guessed she hadn't been much of a daughter, only phoning home once, maybe twice, a month, and when she did, she only spoke to her mom. As far as she knew, he hadn't been ill. He'd just gone to bed and not woken up the following morning. She frowned, maybe they'd been keeping stuff from her.

As she walked slowly through arrivals, her eyes scanning the crowds for her brother who was supposed to be meeting her. It suddenly occurred to Nikki that she hadn't seen them all for over five years. She hadn't meant for it to be that long, time just sort of ran away with her.

"Nicola!"

Nikki turned to the sound of the voice and found herself face to face with her oldest, and least favourite brother, Paul. "Hey." She reached kissed him on the cheek, scowling when she felt him stiffen. She gave a small shake of her head, he always did have a stick up his ass, even after all these years he hadn't managed to shake it loose. Suppressing a sigh she followed him out to his car. Obviously the years apart and the death of their father had done nothing to ease the bad blood between them. Truthfully though she had to take some responsibility as she'd made no attempt to build bridges.

"Nice car." She sat in the passenger seat of his silver Audi and looked around her.

"Thanks. I like it."

They fell silent again, unsure how to proceed with their enforced truce. As he drove, she studied her brother's profile. As the eldest, he had always been the golden boy. He had the best grades, went to the best university and had the most successful career, in investment banking. Although marrying the C.E.O's daughter probably helped. The years however had not been kind. He had gained weight, his hair was thinning and his complexion was slightly florid. It was hard to believe that he was only a couple of years older than Happy.

"How's Cynthia?"

"Well obviously she's devastated over father's death. But apart from that, she's well."

"Was he ill?" She frowned. "It seemed kinda sudden."

"He had angina. Maybe if you'd been around more, you would have known."

"Maybe." Nikki really didn't want to get into an argument with him. "Mom never said anything."

They fell silent again. Nikki stared out of the passenger window and blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall. She really, really wished Happy was there. After what seemed like an eternity, they pulled onto the drive of their childhood home. Her mother opened the front door and, holding out her arms, pulled her into a hug. "It's so good to see you darling. I just wish it was under better circumstances."

"Yeah, me too." Nikki sniffed. "I'm sorry I've been such a terrible daughter."

"Nonsense. If I'd have asked you would have come home. Come on in, I've made tea."

Nikki nodded but said nothing. She honestly didn't know whether she would have. She followed her mother into the kitchen. It still looked the same as when they were kids. She watched as she poured the tea. Astrid Castle had always been a dynamic woman, raising four kids whilst pursuing a teaching career. Nikki had got her looks, if nothing else from her father. She was the only one of the four siblings that had. Her mom had been quite the beauty in her day, but now the thick blonde hair was grey and wispy, the milky complexion was marred with deep lines and instead of moving gracefully around the kitchen how Nikki remembered, she moved slowly as if in pain. "Here mom." She took the cups from her and carried them to the table. "Come and sit down, you look done in." She looked around. "Where is every one."

"Andrew and Joanne have gone home, they spent all day yesterday here. But as soon as I knew you were on your way I sent them away. Thought we should have some time alone together."

"I bet that went down well."

Astrid chuckled. "You have no idea." She sat down with a wince.

"You okay?"

"Nothing that a good night's sleep wont fix." She chuckled again. Nikki had forgotten how much she missed that sound. "And maybe a new skeletal system, these old bones aren't what they used to be." She reached out and took Nikki's hand. "Don't look so worried, it's just a touch of arthritis."

They looked up as Paul walked in, frowning at the intimate mother, daughter moment. "I have to go. I've an appointment with the funeral director at eleven, there's no need for you to come." Astrid raised her hand. "Fine. I guess I'm not capable of organizing my husband's funeral now." She shook her head as her son rolled his eyes, turned on his heel and marched out.

Nikki sighed. Her brother clearly hadn't changed. He was still the self important little shit he always used to be. "Douche."

"Nicola!" Astrid lightly slapped her hand.

"Sorry mom." She took a sip of her tea. "Paul said dad was sick. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Would it have made any difference?"

"I don't know."

"It was the angina that killed him, but, truthfully I started losing him about two years ago. Your brothers and sister refused to believe it, but your father was starting to lose his mind." She gave a ghost of a smile. "In a way it's a relief. It was getting to the point where I daren't leave him alone in the house or let him go out unaccompanied. Sometimes he would even forget who I was." Nikki opened her mouth to speak but Astrid stopped her. "No I shouldn't have told you. You have built a life for yourself, and I know you and your father were never close."

"I did love him."

"I know, but I'm not sure he deserved it."

"Mom!"

"No, hear me out. Both your father and I put so much effort into the other three. But you." She smiled and squeezed her daughter's hand. "Maybe it was because you were the youngest and we were too old for any more kids. To tell the truth I'm not really sure. But I always felt we never really tried with you. Your father in particular was always quick to criticize, but never pointed you onto the right path." She sighed. "I have to take some responsibility as well. I was so focused on my career at that point I barely noticed you."

Nikki smiled. "Don't beat yourself up, mom. My life's been great. Still is. I was never cut out for the career thing. I've always had itchy feet, but since meeting Happy I've been more settled."

"Ah the famous Happy. I wondered if I was going to get to meet him."

"He's in Canada, um, working."

"I thought you said he was a mechanic."

"He is, but what he does is kinda specialized. I guess you could say he's a trouble shooter."

Astrid smiled. "So tell me about him."

"He's like no one I've ever met before. I don't even know where to begin." She laughed. "He doesn't say much, and if he decides that something needs doing, he does it. He's passionate and fierce. Nothing compares to being loved by Happy."

"He treats you well?"

"Like a queen. I don't think he will ever buy me flowers and to him valentines day doesn't exist. But he would lay down his life for me in an instant."

"Wow, he sounds like quite a man."

"He is."

Astrid stood stiffly and limping slightly walked through the lounge. Nikki took her arm as she opened the French doors and stood on the veranda. "We had some fun here."

"Yes we did. I'll miss this place."

"You're selling up?"

"It's too big and, to be honest, the stairs are getting difficult."

"Where will you go?"

"Paul and Cynthia think I should live with them."

"And you?"

Astrid shrugged and looked out over the garden. "It makes sense"

Nikki sighed. She had no right to interfere. She gave that up a long time ago. Her cell buzzed. "I gotta get this." She walked a short distance away. "Hey, Shorty."

Nikki grinned at the sound of that familiar raspy voice. "Hey."

"So how's Boston?"

"Fucking rat bastard, Tig!"

"Don't be too mad at him, he's concerned about you." Nikki could hear the worry in his voice. "I am too. I should be there with you."

"Oh Hap that's the last place you should be. You'd scare the pants off them."

"I do know how to behave in polite society you know."

"No you don't Hap, that's what I love about you. It's okay, I'm fine here. The funeral is in a couple of days. I'll fly back the next day."

"Nik you shouldn't have to do this on your own."

"I'm not on my own, I have my family around me."

"And how's that going."

"So far so good." She looked over to her mother. "I have to go. I'll call you after the funeral. And tell that rat asshole he's a dead man."

Happy hung up and climbed back on his bike. He was meeting Quinn in Tacoma in a couple of days. His girl had spent enough time dealing with shit on her own. It was time to settle into a charter and take proper care of his old lady.


	37. Chapter 37

I don't own sons of anarchy

OUTLAW

As much as Nikki would have liked to have spent more time alone with her mother, she knew it wasn't to be and, sure enough, just minutes after she'd finished talking to Happy the first visitors arrived. She found herself being pushed further and further onto the periphery as friends, neighbors and family filled her childhood home, swamping her mother with condolences and offers of help. It was good, she guessed, that Astrid had so many people who cared about her, but as she looked over to where her mother was sitting surrounded by people, Nikki couldn't help but notice how small and overwhelmed she looked. With a sigh, she suppressed the urge to tell them all to back off and give her some space. It was becoming clear that, in the future, her mother was going to need all the help she could get, and it would be these people who would give it. She wandered into the kitchen, which was a hive of activity, with preparations for the upcoming wake. "Is there anything I can do?"

"You can stay out of the way. It's what you're good at." Joanne, her sister, turned and pointed a buttery knife at her. "We don't need you here."

Nikki shrugged but remained where she was, leaning against the door frame, studying her sister.

Joanne was the beautiful sister. Blonde like their mother, with a smooth, milky complexion. As she'd grown older, though, that pouting mouth had become pinched and deep frown lines marred that, once smooth brow. She had married her boss, a large, boorish lawyer, who's expensive suits did nothing to disguise his bulky frame. They had four kid who, unfortunately had inherited their father's looks, a large house on the outskirts of the city and both drove around in top of the range BMW's. Despite all this Joanne didn't strike Nikki as a happy woman. She wondered if she had sacrificed happiness for status and a comfortable, middle class, life. She gazed out of the window to where her other brother, Andrew was playing with his and Joanne's kids. She contemplated joining him. She was closest to him, both in age and temperament, but they were still both poles apart. She watched as they kicked the ball around the garden. Andrew, like her other siblings was blonde and fair skinned. The years seemed to have been kinder to him than the other two and he appeared relatively unchanged since the last time she saw him. She was just about to go outside and join him when she caught sight of his skinny, sour faced, bitch of a wife and thought better of it. She hated her sister-in-law with a passion. In high school she had made Nikki's life a misery, never missing an opportunity to make cruel jibes about her lack of stature or spots, or whatever it was that she had decided Nikki was deficient in. Wendy Fisher was a true bully and for three years Nikki had been her number one victim. Despite knowing this, her brother had starting dating her and the bond between the siblings had been severed. Wendy was still a bully. Andrew may have been the MD of a successful electronics company employing dozens of people, but at home he was brow beaten and downtrodden. A shadow of the man he should have been.

Nikki turned and headed upstairs to her old bedroom and pulled out her cell. Hap's phone was, as usual switched off, so she pressed number two on her speed dial. "Tig?"

"Hey doll, s'up?"

"Just need to hear a friendly voice." She swallowed the urge to cry. "I'm feeling a bit displaced. This is my family. But other than my mother, I have nothing to say to them. Even if they were interested, how can I tell them about my life, about you guys. They just wouldn't get it."

"That's cos you're outlaw now doll."

"Am I?"

"Yup." He chuckled. "You've gone native."

"Maybe you're right. How am I supposed to explain Happy? What he does?" She sighed. "And Gemma. That she's my new, fierce momma? And that my best friend is a sick deviant with more twists than a slinky? They all have such nice, safe, middle class lives. I just don't fit in any more. If I ever did."

"Am I really your best friend?"

"Yes, god help me, you are."

"Wow! I've never been anyone's best friend before. Hey Bobby." He held the phone away from his mouth. "Nikki says I'm her best friend. How cool is that."

Nikki couldn't hear Bobby's response but she did hear Chibs' raucous laughter. "You are such a goof Tigger."

"Yeah but you love me. You do love me, right?"

"Yes, Tig I love you." She laid back on the narrow bed. "Shit, I just want this over with so I can come back home. Does that make me a terrible person?"

"Of course not. So when you say 'best friend' do you mean 'one of my best friends' or my 'best, best friend'?"

"You, Alex Trager, are my best friend in the whole world."

"More than Happy?"

"Happy is my husband and no one comes close when it comes to loving him." She smiled. "But you are my friend."

"Best friend."

She rolled her eyes. "Best friend. And right now, I really wish you were here."

"Don't think me being there would help, doll."

"No you're probably right. I better go. I'll see you when I get home."

"Take care, doll. Stay outlaw."

She climbed off the bed and headed back downstairs. Talking to Tig had made her feel better. It always did. She lent on him a lot when Happy was away and for someone who was probably certifiably insane he talked a lot of sense.

Astrid looked up as he daughter walked into the lounge. She turned to her friend who was sitting next to her. "Excuse me." Slowly and painfully she got to her feet and gritting her teeth against the pain she shuffled towards her daughter, trying to mask her limp as much as possible. "You look a bit lost. How about we go outside and get some fresh air." She slipped her arm through Nikki's and led her to the front door. She pulled on her coat and grabbed her cane from the porch. "Lets take a little walk. I seize up if I sit too long."

They walked slowly, in silence down the road and through a small park. Astrid let go of her daughter's arm and headed to a park bench and sat down slowly. She smiled as her youngest daughter joined her, concern etched all over her face. "I try to take a walk every day. Usually I can get round without having a rest." She laughed, that light tinkling sound that Nikki loved. "On really good days I don't even need a cane."

"Mom."

"I'm fine, really. I'm old now and my joints are wearing out. I don't want you to worry about me." She patted Nikki's hand. "As soon as the funeral's over, I want you to go home to the life you've built for yourself. It's perfectly clear you're a fish out of water here."

"That's what Tig said."

"Tig?"

"My friend." She grinned. "My best friend."

Astrid smiled. "I always envied you."

"Really? Wow. Why?"

"Your bravery, the way you weren't afraid to admit you were wrong. How you traveled the world. How you have never been prepared to accept second best. You don't compromise. You are the only one in this family that has married for love and nothing else."

"Including you?"

"Including me." Leaning heavily on her cane she stood up. "We better get back before they send out a search party. I would like to meet that man of yours one day."

"I'm sure that can be arranged." Nikki took her mom's arm and they walked slowly back to the house. "Did you love dad? Ever?"

"I learned to." Astrid smiled. "He offered me security, and the chance to escape from the farm and I took it. I don't regret it, really. I have you kids, my grandkids and I loved my job. It's just…" Her voice became wistful. "The look in your eyes when you talk about Happy. I think I would have liked that."

"It aint been all roses, mom. In fact there have been times when it took every ounce of my strength to stay."

"But you did."

"Happy's not the sort of man you walk away from."

As soon as they got back in to the house, Astrid was led back into the lounge by her friends and Nikki found herself face to face with a scowling Paul. "What the Hell do you think you were doing? You can see how mother struggles to walk these days. What if she fell?"

"She was fine. It was her idea. She needs to keep moving."

"What she doesn't need is you putting ideas into her head. She needs taking care of. This house is too much for her."

"I agree."

"Oh."

"I don't know if you are the best person for that job, but if mom's happy then so am I."

Paul visibly deflated. "Okay then. I have to go and pick Felix and Lottie up from school. Cynthia has a yoga lesson." He turned and marched out of the door. Pushing away images of Hippos in leotards, Nikki climbed back up the stairs and laid back on the bed. She would just stay out of everyone's crosshairs until it was time to go home.


	38. Chapter 38

I don't own sons of anarchy

DISCUSSION

The morning of the funeral dawned, grey and drizzly. Nikki gazed out of the window. Perfect funeral weather. Once dressed, she walked slowly down the stairs to where the rest of her family were gathered. They turned as she walked into the kitchen but no one spoke. She smiled. "Good morning." She looked around. "Where's mom?"

"Still getting ready." Paul smirked. "It may have escaped your notice, but she's a little slow these days."

Nikki said nothing, she just turned on her heel and headed back up stairs and knocked on her mother's door. "Mom."

"Come in darling." Astrid was sitting at her dressing table, putting on her lipstick.

Nikki sat on the bed. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. Just putting off going down there until the last minute." She sighed and slowly got to her feet. "They're waiting aren't they?"

"Yeah." She kissed her mother on the cheek. "Ready?"

Astrid nodded and followed her daughter towards the stairs. "Nicola. Wait."

Nikki stopped in her tracks. "We probably wont get much chance to talk today. I just wanted to say, no matter what your brothers and sister might say. I want you to live your life. You should go home. As soon as possible."

"You trying to get rid of me?"

"Darling, I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. But you don't belong here."

"So come back to California with me."

"Oh Nicola. That is the most ridiculous idea, ever."

"Is it?"

"You know it is. I belong here."

Nikki sighed. Of course she did. "Just don't let Paul push you into things you don't want to do."

Astrid kissed her lightly on the cheek. "I'll be fine."

Her mother had been right. They hadn't had a chance to talk again that day. The funeral was as she had expected. The church had been packed with friends and family. A reflection of her family's standing in the community. No one really spoke to her. A few were curious. She was, after all, the black sheep of the family. She allowed herself a small smile. They had no idea.

She had just climbed into bed when her cell buzzed. "Hey."

"Hey. How was the funeral?"

"I dunno, okay I guess."

"Are you okay? You seem…I dunno, distant."

"I'm sorry, Hap. It's not you." She sighed. "I just really need to get out of here."

"You flying out tomorrow?"

"Yeah, first thing, Tig's picking me up from Oakland." She swallowed. "I'd really like to see you, Hap."

"I know baby, I'd like to see you too. I'm working on it. I promise."

"Hap?"

"Yes baby."

"I really love you."

"I know baby."

Nikki rolled her eyes. "Night Hap."

"Night Shorty."

Nikki walked through the airport scanning the crowd. Fucking Tig, he said he'd be here.

"Looking for someone, Shorty?"

"Hap!" Nikki spun round and threw her arms around his neck as his mouth came crashing down on hers, taking her breath away with it's ferocity.

Nikki gasped as they pulled apart. "Oh god Happy. You have no idea how much I needed to see you." She ran her hands along his torso, checking for injuries.

"Reckon I do, Shorty." He chuckled. "And you can stop checking. There's no bullet holes or knife wounds. I'm fine."

"I wasn't checking." He gave her a look. "Okay, I was checking. So sue me for caring."

He kissed her again. "It's all good. I love that you care." He picked up her bag and took her hand. "C'mon lets get you home."

Their progress through the car park took longer than usual. Every so often they needed to stop for another kiss, but eventually they reached Tig's truck. Nikki frowned. "Why didn't you bring my jeep?"

"Because, Shorty, it's a heap of shit. The clutch is burnt out, you have to brake five minutes before you want to stop and the electrics are shot." He kissed her again and they climbed on board. "Nikki darling, your old man and best friend are mechanics. You could at least bring it into the shop now and again."

"Best friend? Oh Tig told you."

Happy grinned. "He hasn't shut up about it. I think you've tapped into his inner eight year old girl."

"You don't mind?"

"Why would I mind? You fucking him?"

"No of course not."

"Then I don't mind." He grinned as he started the engine. "I might have to draw the line at play dates and sleepovers, though."

"Funny fucker."

As soon as they got in the house, Happy pounced. He picked her up threw her over his shoulder. "Woman, I'm gonna fuck you unconscious."

Nikki giggled. "Go for it, big man." He very nearly did. Nikki swore at one point she blacked out.

They didn't surface for two days. They had a lot of catching up to do. It was Friday morning when they finally ventured outside. Tig wanted his truck back and Hap's bike was still at his house. She went with him, she didn't want to let him out of her sight. They hadn't discussed when he'd be going away again but she guessed it would be soon. They left Tig's truck in his driveway and climbed on Happy's bike. She wondered whether he would go to Bakersfield but he surprised her. He took them through the hills and into the desert, stopping at a small diner and ice cream parlour. They sat in a booth next to the window and Nikki started to get angst. He always took her to neutral territory when he was going to spring something on her. Happy reached over the table and took her hand. "Chill Shorty, it's all good."

She smiled, afraid to speak. He was going away again, she knew it.

He looked out of the window. "Went to see ma the other day. Her chemo's finished and it's all looking good. She wants to go home. My aunt is planning on staying with her."

"That's great."

"It is. It also means I can patch back into a charter."

"Oh." Nikki's heart was thumping so hard, she swore she could hear it.

"Is that all you've got to say?"

"Really? In Charming?"

"Happy looked down at the table."

Ah he comes the sting. "Hap?"

"I'm sorry, Nik. I've agreed to patch in Tacoma."

"And it didn't occur to you to discuss it with me first?"

"Nothing to discuss. They need me there."

"And what about what I need?"

"C'mon Nik. It's not like you don't like Tacoma."

The waitress walked over to take their orders and Nikki stood up. "I'm sorry I'm not hungry." She turned on her heel and stormed out. She never got angry with Happy but right now, she was furious.

Happy followed her outside. "Nik. I don't want to fight with you."

"Well maybe you should have thought of that before you decided to go to Tacoma without talking to me first."

"I don't need your permission."

"Just take me home. I really don't want to talk to you right now."

"Fine, be a selfish bitch. Get on."

As soon as they got home Nikki dismounted. Happy pulled off, heading straight for the clubhouse. Maybe she'd calm down in the morning.

Tig looked up as Happy stormed in. "I'm guessing by the look on your face, you told her about Tacoma."

Happy growled. "You need to butt out, brother."

"Hap, man, I love you, but you are a dumb fuck sometimes." Tig grinned. "You cant just go wading in like that. Nikki has made a life here, she likes it. She's made friends. Did I tell you, she said I'm her best friend? Did you explain that this was the only way Quinn would agree to release you?"

"She didn't give me the chance."

"So what you did you say?"

"Told her I was patching Tacoma. Said it wasn't up for discussion."

"Oh I'm sure that went down well. Fuck, Hap, I didn't think anyone was more fucked up at relationships than me." He laughed. "It's a good job you got an understanding old lady."

"You're loving this, aint ya?"

Tig shook his head and slung his arm round Happy's shoulder. "Go home and talk to her."

"She wont listen."

"Yes she will. Trust me bro, I know about these things. It's a best friend thing."

Nikki was cleaning the oven when he walked him. She always cleaned when she was pissed, it occurred to him that maybe he should piss her off more often. "Nik."

"I'm not talking to you."

"Fine, you can just listen. Come and sit down."

"I'm busy."

"Nik!"

Nikki sighed, that tone of voice left no room for argument. She sat down opposite him. "Fine, talk."

Happy swallowed the urge to tell her to drop the attitude. Now wasn't the time. "To patch into a charter, I need to be released by Quinn. The only way he would agree, was if I patched in at Tacoma. They've got internal shit going on as well as outside threats. Quinn thinks if I'm there, I'll back Lee and it'll stabilize the charter."

"And will you?"

He shrugged. "I'll do what's best for the club."

She sighed. "So it's Tacoma or nomad?"

"I'm sorry. I know you're settled here. But Tacoma wont be so bad." He smiled. "And I do get to come home to you every night."

"Hap, you know I love and trust you." She smiled. "But it wouldn't kill you to discuss shit with your old lady now and again."

"Does that mean we're okay?"

"When things are settled in Tacoma can we come back here?"

"I promise."

"Then we're okay."


	39. Chapter 39

I don't own sons of anarchy.

GOODBYE

Happy gritted his teeth, wondering what had happened to his, normally easy going, old lady. This was the fourth apartment they had looked at and he could tell by the expression on her face, she was going to say 'no'.

"C'mon Shorty, what's wrong with this one? It's got every thing we need, it's near to Charlie's and it has a garage."

"It's boring."

"Boring? Are you insane? It's a fucking apartment, how can it be boring?"

Nikki sighed. One of them was going to have to compromise, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be her. "It's got no character, it's soulless. I still prefer the second one."

"It's practical. The second one was too far out."

"I liked the view."

"That view would cost us an extra hundred dollars a month."

"Don't care."

"Why are you being like this?"

"Well excuse me for wanting somewhere nice to live."

"This is nice."

"No it's not!" She actually stamped her foot.

"Nikki."

There it was, that warning tone. Nikki scowled. "Why can't I have what I want for once?"

"Because what you want is impractical and too expensive."

"What I want is somewhere where I feel safe and comfortable when you leave me on my own for days on end."

"I'm not gonna leave you on your own."

"Yes you will." She reached out and touched his hand. "Please Hap."

Happy suppressed a sigh. He was going to have to give in on this. His girl had made so many sacrifices for him. It was the least he could do. "Okay, fine. We'll take the second one. But don't come crying to me cos you have to drive all the way across town to work every day."

"I wont. Thankyou, so much." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "It really does mean a lot to me."

"I know, baby. I forget sometimes, how tough this is on you."

"Price of loving a son, I guess."

"Price of loving this son."

Gemma looked around her kitchen and gave a nod of satisfaction. She had wanted to throw a farewell party for Nikki, but Tig had told her in no uncertain terms that she would hate it. So for once the queen had compromised and settled for a dinner instead.

She had been beyond pissed when she'd heard about Happy's plans. It had taken all of Clay's powers of persuasion to stop her from going and giving that mean faced asshole a piece of her mind. He and Tig had sat her down and explained that this was the only way Hap and Nikki could be together right now. She looked up as her husband entered the room. "All set, my queen?"

"I think so." She sighed. "I'm going to really miss her, you know."

Clay kissed her. "I know."

Nikki pushed the food around her plate, the lump in her throat made it hard to swallow. Happy reached down and squeezed her thigh. "You okay?"

She nodded. Afraid that if she spoke, she would cry.

She was going to miss them all so much. She looked around Gemma's huge table at the people she had grown to love. Her family.

Chibs glanced over, and catching her eye, gave her a wink. "So hen. You gonna make Kozic your new best friend when you get to Tacoma?"

"No she aint fuckwit!" Tig stood abruptly, his chair crashing to the ground, and stormed out into the garden.

Bobby rolled his eyes. "Way to go Chibsy." He started to stand, but Nikki raised her hand. "It's okay Bobby. I got this."

Tig was leaning against the wall, smoking a joint. Nikki took a deep breath and stood next to him. "You'll always be my best friend, Tigger. You know that, don't you?"

He nodded. "I'm looking like a real pussy, aint I?"

She slipped her hand into his and rested her head against his shoulders. "Probably. Doesn't make me love you any less though." She sighed. "What am I going to do without you?"

"You wont need me, you'll have Happy."

"And Kozic." She grinned and took the joint from him.

"Not funny, doll." He kissed the top of her head. "I'm really going to miss you."

Nikki nodded and stared out over Gemma's garden. Nobody knew better than Tig, how much she struggled when Happy was away. It was him she called in the early hours of the morning when the noise in her head got too loud, and she couldn't shake the images of her husband bleeding out at the side of a deserted road somewhere. He never judged her, or told her she was being ridiculous. He'd just come round and hold her until she fell asleep.

Tig gave her a nudge, and retrieved his joint. "C'mon, doll, we better get back there." He took her hand and they walked back into the house.

Happy looked up and gave her a small smile as she sat back down. "He okay?"

"Yeah."

"And you?"

"Yeah." She squeezed his hand. "I'd follow you to the end of the earth, you know that."

Happy fell silent. Sometimes he wondered whether he should have just walked away. Maybe Quinn had a point, he should never have taken an old lady.

Nikki frowned. "Hap?"

"You shouldn't have to follow me any where. You deserve better, someone who can give you a proper home, security. Someone safe."

"Tried that, hated it." She grinned. "I hate that I'm leaving these guys, but if it wasn't for you I'd have never met them in the first place. You gave me a family, Hap. Please don't feel bad. Despite the sleepless nights. You and me. It's worth it."

Happy leaned over and kissed her. "I don't deserve you."

"Well dur."

He rolled his eyes and they continued to eat in silence. He knew she was putting a brave face on it. She would miss them all especially Tig and Gemma. It was those two that got her through those long, lonely nights when he was away.

Later, after the meal. the men all sloped off to the den and Gemma, Luanne and Nikki sat at Gemma's kitchen table, drinking Irish coffee and smoking Gemma's, weed. Their conversation was cut short by Tig barging in. "Nik, you and me need to talk."

"Now?"

"Now." He turned on his heel and marched out side, Nikki trailing behind him. He pointed to a bench. "Sit." Nikki sat. He sat next to her. "Tacoma aint like Charming."

"I know, I…"

"No doll, hear me out." He sighed. "The Samtac guys shouldn't give you any trouble, they have too much respect for Hap. But you need to be careful, especially around Lee. He has very definite ideas how old ladies should behave. You need to be careful around the nomads as well. A lot of them base themselves up north. If you have any trouble and Hap's not around, go to Kozic or Quinn."

"But I thought.."

"Don't think. Listen. I know you think Quinn doesn't like you, but I don't think that's the case, and if any nomad steps out of line, he'll slap them down." He grinned. "And Kozic. It's no secret that I fucking hate that blonde douche, but he will look out for you." He tapped his sergeant at arms patch. "Despite what I might think of him, he deserves his patch and he would lay down his life for you."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"There's a lot of shit going down in Tacoma. It might not always be safe. You need to know when to do as you're told. I know you hate all that shit. But Hap will only lay down the law to keep you safe."

"You think I could be in danger there?"

Tig shook his head. "Probably not. I'm just telling you this to reassure myself really." He chuckled. "Been taking care of you for a long time, it's kinda hard to let go."

Nikki stood and held out her hand to him. "We better get in. it's getting late and I want to say a proper goodbye to everyone."

He took her hand and standing up, he pulled her into his arms. "Can we say our goodbyes here. I don't wanna go all mushy in front of the guys. It might damage my street cred."

She slipped her arms around his waist. "You'll always be my best friend, Tigger."

He swallowed. "I'm only a day away. You need anything, anything at all. You call me." His voice was husky with emotion. "Take care doll."

"See ya Tiggy." She reached up and kissed his cheek then turned and walked back into the house, leaving him standing there alone.

Happy was waiting for her when she got in. "You wanna say goodbye to everyone. We got a long day tomorrow."

She nodded and walked slowly to the den to say goodbye to Clay and the guys. This was more painful than she thought.

Happy looked out to where his brother was standing and Gemma gently touched his arm. "He really loves your girl."

"I know."

She smiled. "He'll be fine, I'll take care of him." Happy nodded. Of course she would. It's what families do.


	40. Chapter 40

I don't own sons of anarchy

MOVING

Happy looked up from the box he was packing. Nikki had wandered out into the garden. She was really struggling with this. With each box that was packed, she became more quiet and withdrawn. Not for the first time, he wondered if what he was doing was selfish. Probably for the first time in her entire adult life, his old lady felt settled, and he was uprooting her. He wandered outside to join her. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, Hap. Really, you don't have to keep checking up on me."

"I know." He pushed her hair away from her face. "I need you to go to TM and pick up some more boxes."

She sighed. "Okay, does Gemma know I'm coming."

"Yeah, apparently she has something for you."

The TM lot was quiet when she arrived, they always tried to finish early on a Friday. Nikki parked up and walked towards Gemma's office. "Gem, Hap said you got some boxes."

"Yeah they're in the clubhouse." she stood, and slipping her arm through Nikki's walked with her to collect her boxes. "You okay sweetheart?"

"Yes, fuck Gemma I'm fine."

"Okay, there's no need to snap."

"I'm sorry. It's just that's all I've heard from Happy all day." She smiled. "I think he feels bad for taking me away from you guys."

"So he should, selfish bastard."

"Gemma!"

"I know. I'm sorry. But I kinda enjoyed having you around." She kissed Nikki's cheek as they walked through the door.

The clubhouse was practically empty, Juice and Chibs were playing pool and Bobby, Clay and Jax were leaning up against the bar drinking coffee and eating what looked like banana bread. Nikki walked over and hugged them all. "Hi guys. You saved any of that for me.?"

Bobby chuckled and disappeared into the kitchen, emerging seconds later with a plastic container. "Made you up a batch for the journey. I know how much you like it. There's muffins in there as well. But save them till you get there. wouldn't want you to wreck your car."

"Talking of which." Clay looked up from his paper and gave her a smile. "Me and the guys were thinking. You really shouldn't be driving all the way to Tacoma in that death trap of yours." He stood and, taking her hand, led her outside. The rest of the guys following close behind. "So, er, we clubbed together and got you this." There in front of her was a Dodge truck. Clay grinned. "It aint the prettiest thing on the road, but everything works and it runs like a dream."

Nikki gasped. "Wow. Thank you all so much. I can't believe you'd do this for me." She threw her arms around Clay's neck. "Shit I'm gonna start crying again."

Clay kissed her and laughed. "If you're gonna blub, you should do it over Gemma and Tig. It was their idea. Where is Tig anyway? I thought he'd be here."

Gemma shrugged. "He took off as soon as his shift ended." She put her arm around Nikki's shoulders. "It was supposed to be your Christmas present, but as you're gonna be away, we thought you'd better have it now. The guys have been working like mad things to get it ready for you." She handed her the keys. "Try and look after this one."

"I will, I promise. Thank you, all so much. This is the nicest thing anyone has done for me." She wiped away her tears and kissed them all in turn and climbed into her new truck.

Tig pulled onto the driveway and parking next to Hap's bike, he let himself into the house. "Hap, you about?"

"In here." Happy was dismantling the bed. "Thought you'd be at TM."

"Nah, when they give her that truck, she's gonna get all emotional and shit."

Happy nodded, but said nothing. Tig wasn't worried about his girl getting emotional. He'd dealt with an emotional Nikki on numerous occasions. He just didn't want his brothers to see him losing his shit.

Tig looked around. "You got any beer?"

"Yeah, I don't think Nik's emptied the fridge yet. Fuck it, I'll join you."

They sat in the yard, drinking their beers and enjoying the afternoon sun. Tig lit a cigarette. "Your girl okay?"

"She's a bit shaky." Happy sighed. "Not sure I'm doing the right thing."

"Course you are. This has to stay between us. If Nik finds out I've told you this, she wont trust me any more."

"Go on."

"She don't sleep when you're away, don't eat either. I've lost count how many times she's called me in the early hours. She tries to be strong, Hap, but she's terrified."

"Terrified? What of?"

"Losing you, you dumb fuck."

Happy ran his hands over his head. "Why didn't she say something?"

"Would it have made any difference?"

Happy shrugged. Of course it wouldn't. He was doing what was best for his ma. And he'd do it again in an instant. "She deserves better."

"She wouldn't agree. She loves you."

They were interrupted by the sound of her new truck. She ran into the yard and threw herself into Tig's arms. "Thank you, Tigger."

Tig laughed. "You might want to thank your old man. It was him who put up most of the cash."

"Really?" She looked over to where Happy stood, a broad grin on his face. "So that's why you talked me out of buying that SUV."

"Well, that and the fact that it was a heap of shit."

"I thought you were just being cheap."

"I aint cheap."

Tig roared with laughter. "Yeah, yeah. We know. You're just mindful of excessive spending."

Tig stayed and helped them pack the rest of their stuff, and although Nikki was sure that they would probably got it done a lot quicker without him insisting on stopping for regular beer and weed breaks, she was glad he had stuck around. The house had been filled with laughter and it seemed fitting for their last night in Charming.

They loaded everything on to the van, then headed to the clubhouse. They would sleep there and leave first thing in the morning. As they laid in each other's arms, Happy ran his fingers though her hair. "Tig said you don't sleep when I'm away."

"Shit, Just once, I'd like that asshole to keep his mouth shut."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"No point. I aint lying, Hap. There have been times when it's been really tough and without Gem and Tig I'm not sure how I would have coped. But I survived, and if I had to, I'd survive again." She kissed him, raising herself up onto her elbows, so she could look into his eyes. "Do you remember when we first got together? You told me what you were, what you did. I've never been under any illusion Hap. My eyes have always been wide open. How many times do I have to say it? I have no regrets, I love you and I know you love me. I don't care where we live. I'm just happy to be with you."

"You are one special girl, you know that, don't you?"

"One of a kind Hap."

* * *

They were up before the sun. They had a long journey ahead of them and Nikki couldn't face any more goodbyes.

Happy woke Kip and Dog. They would be driving the van, and Juice who would ride in the truck with Nikki. As the sun started to peek over the horizon, the little convoy passed the 'you are now leaving Charming' sign. Juice turned and opened his mouth to speak and Nikki scowled. "Do not ask me if I'm okay."

"I wasn't." He gave a goofy grin. "Yeah okay, I was. Are you?"

"I'm a little sad, but I'll be fine." Nikki smiled. She had spent more evenings than she cared to remembered getting thrashed on some video game or other by Juice. "I'm gonna miss your dorky ass though."

He chuckled. "I'm sure you'll find someone to fix your computer in Tacoma."

She was glad Juice had volunteered to drive up with her. He was good company and as Happy disappeared into the distance, they were singing along to the radio and telling each other awful jokes.

It was dark when they pulled up outside their new apartment. Juice looked around. "Wow this place is great."

"It's on the wrong side of town, it's gonna be freezing in the winter and it's too expensive." Happy glared at Juice. "And no, I aint cheap."

Nikki rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Grumpy fucker. You should see the view, Juicy, it's fantastic."

They would be camping out tonight, making do with bed rolls and sleeping bags. They could unload the van in the morning. Nikki and Hap left the guys to bed down in the lounge and headed to their new bedroom. Happy had unloaded the mattress, he didn't want his girl to be uncomfortable, and as they laid down he pulled her into his arms. "Welcome to your new home, Shorty."


	41. Chapter 41

I don't own sons of anarchy

WELCOME TO MY WORLD

Nikki surprised herself how quickly she settled into a comfortable routine. Despite missing Charming, she enjoyed life in Tacoma. Charlie was more than happy to give her old job back and Happy started work in an auto shop nearby.

Unlike the Redwood charter, Tacoma didn't own any businesses, although they did have partnerships in a haulage company and a construction business. These employed some members, but most had jobs away from the club. It was important to have legitimate jobs to keep the IRS and the Feds at bay. Most of their income, however, came from gun running for Redwood and stolen auto parts. Nikki never really asked questions and Happy didn't tell her much. They both felt it was better that way. If she didn't know, she couldn't tell. Nikki didn't care how he earned, she was just happy to have him come home to her every night.

She rarely went to the clubhouse, she would never be relaxed there, but she had made friends with the two young girls that shared the apartment across the hall. They both had huge crushes on Happy and begged her to introduce them to his hot biker friends.

She pulled a casserole from the oven as Happy walked in. "Hey." She grinned as he strutted over and kissed her softly on the neck.

"So what's my little domestic goddess cooked for me tonight?"

"Just a chicken casserole." She put the dish on the table and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Do you really think I'm a domestic goddess?"

"Sure baby. I mean that actually smells edible."

She pouted. "Not fair, Hap."

He laughed. "Nikki darling, you're messy, you can't cook and you use the iron as a door stop. If I wanted someone to cook and clean for me I'd have hired a maid."

"So why did you marry me then?"

"Well now you come to mention it, maybe I made a huge mistake."

"Haaap."

He grinned and bit her lightly on the neck. "Hmm, let me think. You taste nice." He slid his hand inside her shirt. "And your skin's real soft. And when I kiss you, hmm, like this." He brought his mouth crashing down on hers. "You make that funny whimpering sound. I like it when you do that. And if I were to put my hand into your panties, like this, I know you'll be wet for me." He pushed her up against the wall. Dinner forgotten, Happy showed her just why he married her.

"There's a party at the clubhouse tomorrow. I'd really like you to come." They were in the kitchen eating the, reheated, casserole.

Nikki sighed. "Okay."

Happy smiled. "Good girl." He squeezed her hand. "I love showing you off to my brothers."

"I dunno why, they don't see me though rose tinted glasses like you do."

Happy shook his head. He didn't care what she believed. His girl would easily be the most beautiful there.

The clubhouse was packed. Nikki gripped Happy's hand tightly as they weaved their way through the crowd. "You never said what this party was for."

He hadn't and there was good reason for that. "It's Quinn's birthday."

"Fuck, Hap. Really?"

At least he had the decency to look sheepish. "I guess I should've said."

"Would've been nice." Nikki wasn't going to get into it with him in the clubhouse, but she was pissed that he hadn't told her. Quinn was the last person she wanted to see.

It was only a matter of time before they became separated. With an absence of friendly faces to turn to, she slipped outside into the cool evening air, and sitting on a picnic bench, rolled herself a joint.

"Mind if I join you?" Without waiting for an answer, Quinn sat next to her. "Didn't expect to see you here."

Nikki shrugged but said nothing. He gave a short bark of a laugh. "Hap didn't tell you this party was for me did he?"

"No." She didn't see the point in lying.

"Figures. I'm guessing you're still pissed with me."

"Not really." She lit the joint, took a huge drag and passed it to him.

"But I aint your most favourite person."

"No. But I think the feeling's mutual."

"Actually, you're wrong there, girl. I weren't too pleased when Happy took up with you. Thought he would get bent outta shape having the little woman at home."

"And now?"

"And now I think you aint a bad old lady. Not too demanding. You seem to keep him grounded." He passed the joint back to her. "Didn't think for a moment, that you'd agree to move back here."

"Is that why you did it? Made it a condition for his release? You thought I'd want to stay in Charming and he'd stay nomad."

"It crossed my mind. But, honestly no. Right now this charter needs Happy. You didn't really figure. I did what I thought was best for the club." He stood. "You coming in?"

"In a while." She smiled. "Happy birthday, Quinn."

She watched as he strutted back towards the clubhouse. She should have guessed that none of this was to do with her. She wasn't important enough. When it came to the club, she paled into insignificance.

Happy looked around. He hadn't seen his girl for a while and was getting a little concerned. A large hand landed on his shoulder. "Hap. How's Tacoma?"

"Quinn." Happy hugged his former president.

"Your girl's outside. Don't think she's enjoying herself much." Happy frowned and Quinn chuckled. "Don't worry, I was nice."

Happy turned on his heel and marched outside. "Nik."

Nikki flicked the roach across the lot. "Hey. I lost you."

"And I found you. Are you okay? Quinn said.."

"I'm fine. Quinn was actually almost nice." She laughed. "I think."

Happy pulled her into his arms. "I think I want to go home and fuck you."

"Hmm, I'm not sure Hap." She squealed as he threw her over his shoulder and marched over to his bike. "Oh okay then, if you insist."

For three months Happy had been home every night. Three whole months. But now he was going to be away for two nights. It was just a run, it was all good. In fact she was looking forward to a little 'me time'. Sooze and Laura from across the hall, were planning a girlie night, and when Nikki waved him off, she had convinced herself she might not even worry.

The rest of the guys were staying for an extra night, but Happy wanted to get home to his girl. She'd spent enough time alone.

It was gone midnight when he rolled into Tacoma and parked his bike next to her truck. The apartment was in darkness when he got in. Happy frowned, it was unlike Nikki to be in bed before midnight. He walked into the bedroom. "Nik?" Shit, maybe she was with the girls over the hall. He banged on the door, scowling as he got no answer. Already he was pulling his phone out of his pocket. It went straight to answer phone. Shit.

When an hour later, Nikki came in, Happy was pacing up and down. "Where the fuck have you been?"

"Hi Hap, wasn't expecting you till tomorrow."

"Answer the question. Where the fuck were you?"

"Out, with Sooze and Laura."

"Out where?"

"Couple of bars and a club. Shit, hap. What is your problem?"

"What is my problem? What is my fucking problem? I get home and you're no where to be found, your fucking phone's off. I'm imagining all sorts of shit and all the time you're out drinking in some dive somewhere. How many time's do I have to say it. I don't want you going out with out me knowing."

"Oh so I need your permission now?"

"I didn't say that."

"Well what then? You weren't here. I wasn't expecting you home till tomorrow. It was a few drinks, shit Hap. Don't you think you're over reacting?"

"No I fucking don't. You're my woman and if I say you don't go out without my say so, then you don't."

Nikki's jaw dropped open. "Are you for real? Since when did you have a problem with me going out? Do you know what? I'm not having this conversation, I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

"Shit Nikki, wait. I don't have a problem with you going out." He reached out to touch her. "Fine, I panicked, okay. You have no idea the sort of shit that was running through my head. If I lost you." He closed his eyes. "Fuck Nik, you have no idea."

"Oh I think I do, Hap. Welcome to my world."


	42. Chapter 42

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWO FOR TIGGER

Tig rode slowly through the streets of Tacoma, searching for Nikki and Hap's street. He wondered briefly whether he should have contacted them and let them know he was coming, but quickly dismissed the idea. Plus he was under strict instructions from Clay to keep this trip under wraps. Finally with a sigh of relief he spotted their street and turning down it parked in front of an old mansion building. He scowled, Nikki's truck wasn't there. He knew that Happy was on a run but had expected her to be there. He turned as a little red Honda pulled in next to his bike and a little blonde climbed out and gave him a smile. "Hi, are you looking for Happy? He's gone away for a few days."

Tig grinned. Maybe he could keep himself entertained until Nikki got home. "I know, doll. Thought Nikki might be at home."

"She's at work." The girl smiled again. "You can wait in our apartment if you like, we live across the hall. I'm Sooze, by the way." She held out her hand.

Tig looked at it. "Tig." His grin grew broader. "So when you say we.."

"Me and my roomie, Laura."

"She as pretty as you?"

Sooze blushed. "Prettier."

"In that case, I would love to wait in your apartment. Lead the way."

Nikki gritted her teeth as yet another ignorant asshole cut in front of her. Despite hating it, she tended to choose the daytime shift. She liked to spend the evenings with Happy. The drive across town was a pain in her ass too, but she'd never admit it.

She frowned, there was a Dyna parked in her space. The frown however soon turned into a grin when she realized who's bike it was. She ran inside expecting to see him sitting on the stairs waiting for her and was puzzled to find the hall empty. Pulling out her phone, she pressed two. To her surprise it went straight to answer phone. The only time he switched his phone off was when he was… Oh no he wouldn't! Praying she was wrong, she knocked on her neighbour's door. It was a while before anyone answered, although the sound of giggling on the other side told her they were in.

"Nikki, Hi." A flushed Laura peeped round the door, wrapped in a sheet.

"He's here isn't he?"

"Who?"

"Tig. Don't play innocent with me." She pushed the door open. "Tigger, get your horny ass out here."

The bedroom door opened, and a shirtless Tig walked slowly out with a sheepish expression on his face. Behind him, Nikki could see Sooze pull the blankets up to her chin. "Both of them? Tig, you really are…" She searched for the right words.

"Irresistible? drop dead gorgeous?"

"A dog." She grinned as he pulled her into his arms and planted a sloppy kiss on her lips. "Ugh, Tigger, do I really want to know where that mouth has been?"

He laughed. "Probably not."

"You disgust me. And as for you two." She waved her finger at her friends. "I'm lost for words. I hope you're all ashamed of yourselves." She rolled her eyes judging by their grins, none of them gave a shit what she thought. She poked Tig in the chest. "I'm going next door. Are you planning on joining me anytime soon."

He kissed her again, on the cheek this time. "I might be a while. Don't wait up."

"So you'd rather get laid than spend the evening with me?"

"You really have to ask? I'm here for a few days, I'll see you in the morning."

"Well some friend you turned out to be." She patted him on the chest. "This is what happens when your best friend is Tig fucking Trager." She turned to her girlfriends. "Make sure he uses a condom." She grinned. "Have fun."

Dawn was breaking as Happy pulled in and parked next to Nikki's truck. He gave a small smile when he saw Tig's bike. Nikki had really been missing him. He was surprised he hadn't told them he was coming though. He opened the apartment door quietly, expecting Tig to be asleep on the sofa. His stomach lurched as he walked in and found it empty. If that bastard was in his bed with his girl he would slit both their throats. He was almost too afraid to open the bedroom door, scared of what he would find. He switched on the light and Nikki sat up rubbing her eyes and yawning, the quilt falling down, exposing her perfect tits. "Hap?" She reached out her arms to him. "What time is it?"

"Early." He sat on the bed and kissed her. "Tig's bike's outside."

"I know. He's next door sampling the delights that Sooze and Laura have to offer."

"Both of them? Way to go Tigger." Happy laughed, but secretly berated himself for doubting, not only his old lady, but his brother as well. Neither had ever given him any reason not to trust them. "He say why he's here?"

"No although, I haven't really talked to him. I was at work when he got here and the girls got to him first."

They were both fast asleep when Tig knocked on their door. Happy slowly climbed out of bed. "It's okay I'll get it." Clad in only his boxers he opened the door. "Tigger." He hugged his brother and led him inside.

Tig looked around. "Nice place."

"Nikki likes it."

"And you?"

Happy shrugged. "What you doing here? I'm guessing this aint just a social call."

"Officially, that's exactly what this is."

"And unofficially?"

"Clay's worried. Two trucks have been hijacked in less than a month and then we hear that Spider's place got shot up. He want's to know if it's down to this new MC and what Lee's doing to contain it."

Happy looked towards the bedroom. "Keep it down, Man."

Tig hissed. "Shit, you haven't told her what's going on?"

"She don't need to know."

"Spider's got a wife and a couple of kids right? And they shot up his house. I don't wanna get in your shit, man, but if these assholes are targeting women and kids, she needs to know."

"They aint. At least we don't think they are. They had set up a cookhouse close to where Spider lives and we took it down. They must've seen him around and put two and two together. It looks like a straightforward retaliation. His old lady and kids weren't in at the time and Spider only got clipped."

"So what happens now?"

Happy shrugged. "Lee doesn't see them as much of a threat. If they set up a cookhouse, we take it down. If they move in on our territory we hit them, otherwise we leave them alone. Lorca thinks we should take them more seriously. We should hit them hard, while they're still small. He thinks if we let them get a foothold, they could be a problem in the future."

"And what do you think?"

"I think we should take the fuckers down."

"What about the rest of the club?"

"The rest of the club is split. So nothing is being done about this, and all the time this little bullshit MC is getting stronger and stronger. He shrugged again. Unless Lee and Lorca sort their differences that's the way it's gonna stay."

"So you're backing Lorca."

"Lee's getting old and he's complacent. He's had it his own way for a long time. He doesn't see the threat from this MC or from Lorca. That sort of complacency is dangerous. I've got a lot of respect for him but if he's gonna put the club, and those associated with it at risk, we gotta look to someone else. I aint sure if Lorca's the man for the job, aint my decision to make, but he has always done what is best for the club an' he don't let his ego get in the way of shit."

Tig nodded. He had known that Happy was the person to ask. He didn't involve himself in politics and power plays. But that didn't mean he wasn't aware of what was going on. "Are the gun runs under threat?"

"Could be. One of the guys that set up this MC is Stevie. Remember him?"

"The guy you excommunicated for skimming club funds?"

"That's right. He must know the routes we take. We can only alter them so much. Lee thinks he's too chicken shit to try and take the guns. That would bring the whole club down on him, not just the charter."

They both looked up as the bedroom door opened. Tig patted Happy on the shoulder. "We'll talk later. Go get dressed."

Happy nodded. As he walked into the bedroom, he kissed his girl. "Hey Shorty. How 'bout you go and burn us some breakfast."

"How about you men take your favourite girl out instead."

Happy laughed and turned to Tig. "What do you say, bro, shall we take her out for breakfast."

"If we don't is she gonna cook it?"

"Yep."

"Get your coat. We're going out for breakfast."


	43. Chapter 43

I don't own sons of anarchy

OUTBURST

Nikki sat at the table staring fixedly at the door. They would be bringing Happy in soon and she was going to hold it together. She was a strong old lady. She wasn't going to lose her shit and turn into a sobbing mess as soon as she saw him. If she told herself that enough times, maybe it would be true.

He had been arrested two weeks before for arson and had been refused bail. Both Kozic and Lorca had tried to reassure her that the charges wouldn't stick and they'd be getting him out soon. But as time went on, it seemed unlikely and Nikki knew she had to prepare herself for the possibility of him doing a long stretch. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't been in there alone, with no protection. She knew that the reason he hadn't agreed to see her up until now was because he'd already taken a beating from those white hate assholes. However, she cried so much every time he called her that he'd finally caved in.

She gasped as the door opened. One side of his face was a mass of bruises and he was limping badly, clearly in a lot of pain. She looked over to the guard who gave her a small nod, and slowly approached him. "Oh my god, Hap." She wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms, but was afraid to touch him.

He reached out and touched her face. "Hey shorty." He gently lifted her chin and kissed her, ignoring the pain in his split lip.

The guard stepped forward. They both pulled apart and sat down at the table. Nikki took his hand and brought it to her lips. "I can't stand this."

Happy ran his thumb along her cheek, wiping away the tears that were falling unchecked. "I'm okay, it looks worse than it is." A lie, they both knew. "They got nothing on me. I'll be home soon. You just gotta be strong okay."

"I'm trying, Hap." She took a deep juddering breath. And gave him a shaky smile. "This is tougher than when you were nomad."

He nodded. "I know baby. I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to put up with this." He sighed. "If you want to walk away, I wont stop you. You're free to go."

"I'm not going anywhere, Hap."

He nodded and his lips turned up in a tiny smile. "You need anything, you go to Kozic or Lorca. And remember, Charming's only a day away. Gemma and Tig will always be there for you if you just need to talk."

Nikki nodded and sniffed. "I was so determined not cry."

"That went well, Shorty."

She shrugged and tried to blink away her tears. "Didn't expect to see you so beat up."

"Fuckers jumped me. Weren't nothing I could do. They will pay though. Trust me."

"Please, Hap, try and stay out of trouble. I just want you home in one piece."

"You got it Shorty. I promise."

A bell rang and the guard stepped forward. "Time's up."

They stood, Happy limped towards her and pulled her into his arms. "Take care baby. I'll be home soon."

She was sitting on the sofa, hugging her knees, staring at the TV, when there was a knock at the door. Dragging herself to her feet, Nikki went to open it. "Quinn? Hi come in." She couldn't hide her surprise, he was the last person she expected to see. Not that she got many visitors. If she'd been in Charming, Gemma would have made sure she was never left alone for too long, but here she felt like she'd been forgotten. All she did was work and sleep.

Quinn stood in the middle of her lounge, filling the small space with his large frame. "Nice place."

"Thanks. Please sit down. Can I get you anything?"

"Beer."

She opened two bottles of beer and joined him on the couch. He looked her up and down. "You okay?"

Nikki shrugged. "I guess."

"Went to see your old man yesterday, he said you were having a rough time."

"Hap asked you to come?"

"Nah. This is me just looking out for a brother's old lady." He frowned. "You look like shit."

"Thanks. I see you've been taking lessons at the outlaw charm school."

He chuckled. "I try." He brushed the hair away from her face. "You sleeping?"

Nikki looked away. "I'm okay."

"No you aint." Taking her hand he stood and pulled her to her feet. "Right, here's the deal. You are gonna tell me what's going on in that head of yours, no holding back."

"I can't."

"Yes you can. This is your one time opportunity. Whatever you tell me doesn't leave these four walls. C'mon darling, you need to get this off your chest."

"Why do you care?"

"Because Hap doesn't need to be stuck inside, worrying about you falling apart. He needs you to be strong, to support him."

"Ha." She gave a short humourless laugh. "And there was me thinking you might actually give a shit about what I was feeling. But no. Stupid me, this is about Hap and your precious, fucking club. Why would you care that I'm so knotted up inside that I cant eat for fear of throwing up. Or that I haven't slept for weeks. Why would you give a shit? No one else does. I thought this was a family. Ha! What a fucking joke. Kozic is supposed to be looking out for me. I haven't set eyes on him since Hap got put down. And Tig, my so called best friend, can't spare the time to be with me cos he's got club shit to do. Obviously that has to come first. Fuck, I'm so low down on everyone's list of priorities, I'm surprised you even notice I exist. Even Happy puts the club before me. I've never complained and always tried to be a good old lady, and look where it gets me." She was pacing up and down now, in full flow. Quinn stood silently waiting for her to continue. "I told him, when we first met, that I didn't want to get involved with a son. But he took no notice. The selfish fuck, had to have what he wanted." She was saying too much. She knew she should stop, but she couldn't. It was like someone had turned on a tap and all the anger and resentment came pouring out. "I sick of it. Sick of feeling stressed. Sick of worrying that I might say the wrong thing to one of his brothers." She slumped back down onto the sofa. "I'm sick of crying myself to sleep every night."

Quinn sat next to her and pulled her, sobbing, into his arms. "Well I did ask, didn't I." He gently stroked her hair. "Hap said he told you that you could walk away."

"I can't. I love him too much." She roughly wiped away her tears. "But right now, I really wish I didn't."

He ran his finger across her wrists. "Too skinny. You weren't lying when you said you couldn't eat were you?" Standing up and strutting to the kitchen, he started hunting through her cupboards. "You got no food. Looks like I need to go shopping. Where's the nearest deli?"

"Just down the road. Why?"

"You gotta eat." He marched to the door. "Wont be long."

True to his word, in less that half an hour he was back. He carried the bags into the kitchen and started to cook. "Hope you like omelette." He passed her a lettuce. "Here, chop that and slice those tomatoes." Nikki did as she was told and in a short while they were sitting down to Spanish omelette and salad.

"This is good." She smiled. You're a great cook.

He shrugged. "I enjoy it. Don't get the chance much."

They finished their meal in silence then, grabbing a couple of beers settled on the sofa in front of the TV. It wasn't long before Nikki's eyes started to close, Quinn pulled her down so that her head was resting on his lap and stroked her hair until her breathing evened out and he was sure she was asleep, then lifting her carefully, carried her to bed.

He was gone when she awoke, the next morning. On the kitchen table he had left a note written in, surprisingly, neat hand writing. 'My number. Call me if you ever need to vent. There's food in the cupboard. Eat."

She dialled the number he left. "Quinn?"

"Hey darling. What can I do for you?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to thank you for last night, and to apologize for my outburst. I didn't mean it."

Quinn laughed. "Yes you did, every fucking word."


	44. Chapter 44

I don't own sons of anarchy

REUNITED

As the days turned into weeks, with still no news of either a court date or a release, Nikki became more and more withdrawn. She functioned -what choice did she have- but she stopped feeling. Even when Tig turned up out of the blue for a few days, she couldn't summon up any enthusiasm.

He had been furious when he found out that she was working double shifts in order to pay her rent and had gone steaming into the clubhouse, demanding to know why Happy's old lady was struggling on her own with no support. This was not how the sons operated. He refused to accept Lee's explanation that they thought she was okay, after all she hadn't asked for help. He had even tried to put his hatred of kozic aside and discuss his concerns for Nikki with the Tacoma SAA, only to discover that he hadn't actually been round to see her.

Later, when he had handed her an envelope containing enough cash to cover the next months rent, he had tried to explain to her that, unlike Charming, Tacoma had no queen. Help wouldn't be offered, she'd have to ask. She nodded, then turned back to stare at the tv.

He had tried every thing to try and drag her out of the depression she had sunk into. He suggested a road trip to Charming for a few days. She was too busy. Going out and getting shitfaced. She wasn't in the mood. Nothing worked. It was like she was dead inside. The only time he saw any emotion from her was when he'd driven with her to visit Happy and she'd cried all the way home. At least that was something he could deal with. He could comfort her when she cried. It was cold, emotionless Nikki that was freaking him out.

Nikki had watched when he had rode away. She knew he was freaked out by how detached she had become, but it was the only way she could cope. In Charming she had him or Gemma, or any of the guys for that matter, to turn to when she felt herself falling apart. Here she didn't have that luxury so she put a lid on her emotions and screwed it down, tight. She could only hope that when Happy came home, she remembered how to unscrew it again.

Kozic had started coming round for an hour or so in the evenings sometimes. She wasn't sure whether it was due to the black eye Tig had given him or something Quinn had said, but she was sure it wasn't because of her scintillating company. Truthfully, she didn't care whether he came round or not.

She hadn't seen Quinn again, he was tied up with the gun runs across the border. As far as she knew he hadn't told anyone about her meltdown, something she was extremely grateful for.

It was three weeks after Tig had returned to Charming that Nikki finally got the news she was waiting for. Happy was coming home! The case against him had collapsed when the only witness had disappeared. Nikki didn't care about the details. All she cared about that he was coming back to her and they would be together again.

Nikki was sitting at her kitchen table, unsure what to do with herself, when her phone rang. Checking the caller ID she answered. "Hi Quinn."

"Hey sweetheart, where are you?"

"At home."

"You should be here at Hap's party."

"I don't do parties."

"Nikki. Happy is gonna want you to be here. I'm coming to get you."

"No, wait. Quinn. Hello… Hello? Fuck."

In less than ten minutes, Quinn was banging on her door. "C'mon sweetheart. Open up. Happy will be back soon."

She opened the door and ran her fingers through her hair. "Don't make me do this. Please."

He touched her cheek, shocked at her haggard appearance. "I thought I told you to eat."

She shrugged. "I will now Happy's coming home."

He rolled his eyes. "Shit, I hope he never has to do a long bid. You'll implode." He slapped her ass. "Now go and make yourself beautiful for your man."

Knowing there was no point in arguing, Nikki went and changed into Happy's favourite skinny jeans and a new corset style top, that until now, she hadn't been brave enough to wear. It was rare for her to wear make up, but given how tired and pale she looked, she opted for a little blusher and eyeliner, hoping it would improve things.

"Wow. I gotta hand it to you, sweetheart. You do scrub up well." He grinned. "Reckon Hap's gonna jump you as soon as he sets eyes on you." grabbing her leather jacket and helmet, she followed him outside and climbed onto the back of his bike. He turned and grinned. "Hang on tight. If we hurry, we should make it to the clubhouse before him."

In the event, they got there over half an hour before Happy arrived. The place was packed to the rafters with bikers, hangarounds and whores. Quinn kept her close, he knew she would be hating this. Suddenly the shout went out. Happy was on his way! Everyone piled outside. Quinn put both his hands on her shoulders and propelled her to the front of the crowd as the van pulled in.

Happy was out of the van as soon as it stopped. His eyes locked on his girl's he stalked towards her. Quinn gave her a little shove and she ran towards him, throwing herself into his arms. Happy picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. "Hey."

"Hey, Shorty."

As his mouth came crashing down on hers, Nikki couldn't stop the tears from falling. "Oh god, Hap. I thought you were never going to come home."

"Told you everything would be okay, didn't I?"

She buried her face into his neck and sobbed. All of those pent up emotions poured from her at his touch. He pulled her tighter to him. "Hey come on baby, I'm home now. It's all good."

He looked up at his brothers all standing around with huge grins on their faces and sighed. The sons never needed much excuse for a party. As much as he'd love to have had time alone with his girl, 'getting out of jail' parties were a long standing tradition and he would have to play ball. For a little while at least. Reluctantly, he set her onto the ground and walked towards his brothers. Nikki frowned, his bruises were long gone but he still limped slightly. Reaching out her hand, she moved towards him. A hand gently held her arm. She turned. "C'mon let's go and get a beer, sweetheart. Hap needs to spend some time with his brothers. He'll find you soon enough." With a sigh Nikki followed Quinn back into the clubhouse. He laughed. "Don't worry, sweetheart, I'll stick to you like glue."

"That's reassuring. I think."

He slung his arm around her shoulder. "Course it is sweetheart. You know I'll take good care of you."

Nobody could've been more surprised than Happy to see Nikki and Quinn sitting on one of the beat up couches in the corner, drinking beer and chatting like old friends. They both looked up as he approached and Quinn stood and hugged his brother. "Good to have you back, man." He reached out his hand to Nikki and pulled her to her feet. "There you go, bro, she's all yours."

Happy pulled her into his arms. "So, wanna take a ride?"

Nikki grinned. "Always."


	45. Chapter 45

I don't own sons of anarchy

WALK AWAY

Happy leaned on the bar of the clubhouse, staring into a large Jack. All around him, the party raged, but he ignored it. He knew he should go home, but he couldn't bring himself to face her.

When he had first been released, he had assumed that things would quickly go back to normal between him and his girl. After all they had been apart before. He thought he knew the routine. She would be a little clingy for a day or so, but after a few sessions of serious fucking, she would settle down and be back to her old self again. This time, however had been different. The sex of course had been great, as usual. But instead of falling asleep in his arms as she usually did. Nikki had rolled over and turned her back to him. Maybe he should have talked to her then, asked her what was wrong. But Happy wasn't big on talking, so he'd let it slide. And now, a month later, he had no idea how to broach the subject. She was cold and distant with him. She was going through the motions, but her eyes didn't sparkle when she smiled anymore. He missed the way her arms would slip under his cut, she didn't seem to want to touch him and they no longer made love. It was just sex. He may as well have been using his right hand, for all the reaction he was getting.

"Hey, bro." Quinn stood next to him, his back leaning against the bar. "Good party."

Happy shrugged and swallowed the last of the jack and held out the glass to a prospect for a refill.

Quinn raised an eyebrow. His brother enjoyed a drink as much as the next man, but it was unlike him to drown his sorrows. Something he was clearly doing right now. He looked around. "Your girl not here?"

"Nah."

"She okay?"

"I guess."

Quinn turned and took a beer from the prospect. "I had an old lady once." He grinned at Happy's look of surprise. "Was a long time ago, 'fore you patched in."

"So what happened to her?"

"Same as what happens to most of the old ladies. Look around you, man. How many sons have long successful marriages?" He barked a short humourless laugh. "You remember when I said nomads and old ladies don't mix? Well maybe I should've said 'sons and old ladies don't mix'. This life is tough on women."

"So what happened to yours?" Happy was genuinely curious. Quinn had never mentioned an old lady before.

"Came home from a run and she was gone."

"Shit. You go after her?"

"If Nikki took off, would you go after her?"

"No man. I don't want her to be with me if she don't want to." Happy shifted his weight off his right leg with a wince. "Why'd she take off?"

"Why'd you think? I could give any number of reasons. The women, the drugs, the violence. But you know as well as me, the reason she went, was the reason they all go. The club." He shrugged. "Didn't help that I refused to see what was in front of me."

"Why you telling me this?"

"Don't wanna see you make the same mistakes as me. Your girl. She's a rare breed." He grinned. "Aint many women that have got what it takes to survive in this life. She's tough, your old lady. But she aint unbreakable."

"What's this about Quinn? Nikki's fine. We're fine."

"So fine that you're here drowning in bourbon, while she's sitting at home, staring at the TV."

"You need to stay outta my shit man."

Quinn shrugged. "Whatever. You carry on pretending everything's dandy. But don't come crying to me when she runs back home to mommy."

Happy sneered and pushed himself away from the bar. "I don't need to hear this shit." He stormed outside to his bike. What did Quinn know. This was just a glitch, they were strong. She just needed a little time.

He was limping slightly as he entered the apartment. One of those fuckers that jumped him had stamped repeatedly on his knee, determined to leave a permanent reminder of their encounter. It was looking like he had succeeded. Happy was sure some thing had busted and although it was much improved, it hadn't knitted together right. Nikki had begged him to get it looked at, but he had refused. He could walk, run and more importantly ride. It was all good. Vaguely, he wondered if, maybe he should've conceded. He doubted there was much could be done, but it might have reassured her that he really was okay.

"Nik, you awake." He sat on the edge of the bed and touched her shoulder, frowning when he felt her stiffen. He laid next to her and pulled her into his arms. "Been thinking. We should take a road trip down south, go see ma. Stay at Charming for a few days. What d'ya say?"

"I need to work."

"Nikki, don't give me that bullshit. I'll talk to Charlie, if you want. I think you an' me could do with some time away."

She sighed. "Okay." There didn't seem any point in arguing. He wouldn't listen anyway.

A week later found them pulling up outside Sofia's house. Neither could hide their relief. Nikki had been so tense that it was actually making it hard for him to ride and what would normally be a fun road trip had left them both fractious and irritable. Sofia, of course had picked up on it immediately. The chasm between them was wider than the grand canyon and impossible to ignore. She frowned as she watched Nikki despondently, push her food around her plate. She had guessed that the girl had struggled when he was in jail, but had expected her to bounce back. With a sigh she collected the plates and carried them to the kitchen sink. "Nikki, why don't you go and sit in the lounge, Happy will help me with the dishes."

Nikki knew when she was being dismissed. She dragged herself into the lounge and slumped onto the sofa. She guessed she should be grateful that it was Happy getting the interrogation.

Sofia handed her son a tea towel. "Have you two had a fight?"

"No."

"So why is that little girl wound up tighter than a spring?"

"I dunno, ma."

"I don't suppose it occurred to you to ask her?"

He shrugged. "Not sure I wanna hear the answer."

"Happy, you're my son and I love you. But you really are dumb sometimes. You have to talk to her. You cannot ignore this and hope it goes away."

"We'll be fine. Just leave it ma. Please."

"Would you like me to talk to her."

"No fucking way. Ow! sorry ma."

* * *

Tig was in the ring, sparring with Chibs when he was interrupted by the sound of Happy's bike pulling on to the lot. He climbed out and unwrapping his hands, stalked over to them. He hugged Happy then turned his attention to Nikki. "Hey doll." He kissed her cheek. "How you doing?"

Her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "I'm okay."

They all walked into the clubhouse. Tip put his hand onto Happy's shoulder as she wandered over to say hi to |Juice and Bobby. "She aint okay, is she?"

Happy shook his head. "I'm losing her man, and I got no idea what to do about it."

"You want me to talk to her?"

"Yeah, no. Shit, I dunno." Happy sighed. "Nah, man. I gotta man up. It's gotta be me."

"Shit you're actually scared to do this aint ya."

"What if she tells me we're done?"

"Then you gotta let her walk away."


	46. Chapter 46

I don't own sons of anarchy

AFRAID

Happy sat propped up on the pillows, smoking a cigarette and watching her sleep. He couldn't put this off any longer. They were going to have to talk. He reached down and stroked her hair. Nikki stirred and murmured in her sleep. "Hap."

"Ssh baby." Truthfully, Happy didn't want her to wake up. While she laid there next to him, her arm slung across his stomach, he could pretend everything was fine. That things were like they always had been.

Nikki slowly opened her eyes and stretched. "Hey."

He leaned down and kissed her. "Hey. I'm gonna take a shower. Wanna join me?"

She followed him to the bathroom without any real enthusiasm. It was just easier to agree to his request than explain why she didn't want to. Happy suppressed a sigh. Another day of pretending everything was okay. This had to end. Today.

Gemma watched from her office window as Happy and his girl walked towards his bike. She turned to Tig who was also watching them intently. "Are they okay?"

"I don't know, Gem." He sighed "I hope so."

Gemma kissed him on the cheek. "Me too."

Happy took them out of town and along little used road, through a forested area, eventually stopping at a picnic area next to a river. They dismounted and he led her to the rivers edge. Nikki pulled off her boots and paddled in the shallow water. He sat on a large flat rock and watched her.

Happy swallowed. His girl, his brave, beautiful girl. The thought of losing her truly terrified him. He took a huge breath. "Nik?" She looked up, but stayed where she was. "Nik." More forceful this time.

With a sigh she left the water and sat next to him on the rock, her legs crossed, Indian style. He reached out and tucked a wayward curl behind her ear. "Talk to me."

"What do you want me to say, Hap?"

"How 'bout you start with telling me why you've been shutting me out all the time. And don't say you aint, cos me and you both, know that you are."

Nikki stared at her hands. "I'm sorry."

"Aint looking for an apology. I'm looking for an explanation. I need to know. Are we done?"

"Done? Oh God, No. Please Hap. I'm sorry, I don't even know how to begin to explain all this to you."

"Try."

"When you went into jail. I didn't have anyone. I was all on my own. If I'd been here in Charming it would've been okay. If I'd had Tig and Gemma, they would've been there to stop me from freaking out. But in Tacoma, there wasn't anyone."

"What about Kozic? Lorca?"

She shrugged. "The only person that showed any concern was Quinn. It's not their fault Hap. I should've asked, but instead I shut down. It just seemed easier that way." She blinked as a solitary tear rolled down her cheek. "The problem was that I got so good at burying my emotions, that I'm not sure I know how to get them back. Maybe it's better this way. If I can't feel, I can't get hurt."

"I aint gonna hurt you." He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her hair. "I know it aint always easy for you, and if I had a scrap of decency I'd have walked away from you when you told me you didn't want to get involved with a son." He grinned. "But I'm a selfish bastard. And you know what? I aint sorry. I love you, Shorty, and I aint giving you up without a fight."

Nikki's arms found their way around his waist. "I'm scared, Hap." Her voice was so tiny, he barely heard her.

"Scared? what of?"

"Losing you."

"I aint planning on going anywhere. You aint gonna lose me."

"Yes I am Hap. One way or another you are gonna be taken from me."

Suddenly it all made sense. "Nik, I can't promise that I aint gonna get hurt or arrested or some shit. This is the life I lead. But shutting me out aint gonna stop you from getting hurt." He laid his palm against her cheek. "If I didn't think you could handle it, I would never taken you as my old lady. Kozic and the Tacoma guys let you down. Reckon I should talk to Clay. See if there's a place for me in Charming."

"Really?"

"It might take a couple of months, maybe a bit longer. Got a few loose ends need tying up. But with any luck we could be back in Charming for Christmas."

Nikki reached up and kissed him. "I love you, Happy Lowman."

Happy's hand found it's way round to the back of her neck, and he pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. "Did it ever occur to you that I might be scared too?"

She pulled away. "Scared? You? Hap, you're not scared of anything."

"Ah well that's where you're wrong, Shorty." He laughed. "I aint scared of getting hurt, aint scared of dying. But losing you? Shit, little girl. The thought of losing you terrifies me."

"I had no idea." She looked out over the river. "Maybe we should try talking more."

Happy shrugged. "Maybe."

Nikki took his hand, their fingers intertwined, and rested her head on his shoulder. "Maybe I need something else."

Happy closed his eyes. Praying silently that she wasn't going to tell him that she wanted a kid and already trying out the 'lets get a dog' argument in his head.

"When I was a kid, I loved to draw and paint. I always wanted to go to art school, but my dad was dead against it. He said it wasn't a proper subject to study, so I took an English course instead. I think I'd like to go back to school."

Happy gave a mental sigh of relief and silently thanked whatever was up there.

Nikki continued. "I know that money could be an issue, but I could still work part time…"

He silenced her with a kiss. "We'll manage. If you want to go back to school, then you will."

"Really?"

"Nikki, the last thing I want, is for you to be sitting at home being miserable and shit. You deserve better." He took her hand and brought it to his lips. "I never want you to regret taking up with me. I would rather you walked away."

"Hap." Nikki ran her hand along his cheek. Her fingers rested on his latest scar, a faint half inch line, under his right eye. "I'm sorry that I've been shutting you out. It's not because I don't love you, quite the opposite in fact. I'm always going to worry about you, but I will never, ever, regret a moment spent with you." She brought her lips up to his and kissed him softly. "I think what we need is some time away together. Just you and me, away from the club."

"That, Shorty, is a brilliant idea."

Cursing and swearing, Tig wrestled with the fuel line on some jock's crotch rocket. He looked up as Happy's bike pulled onto the lot and a grin spread across his face. Any excuse to stop working. Throwing his tools down, he wandered over to them and slung his arms over their shoulders. "You two look like you could use a beer. Gemma's left some meatloaf in the kitchen." He grinned. "A perfect lunch, I think I'll join you." He and Happy watched as Nikki headed into the kitchen to get the meatloaf. "Everything okay?"

Happy gave a one shouldered shrug. "Getting there. I didn't know that my brothers left her hanging when I was inside."

Tig nodded. "Yeah, I had to shake things up a bit when I found out. Poor bitch never said a word. If I'd known I'd have gone round sooner."

"Aint your fault, man. She said Quinn had helped her out, some. I gotta admit, that was a surprise. Didn't think he liked her."

"Didn't surprise me. He likes her well enough. He was just looking out for you, was all. Guess he thought she'd bail and leave you all broken hearted and shit."

They fell silent as Nikki walked back in with the food. She grinned. "I forgot how much I love Gemma's meatloaf."

Tig took a huge mouthful. "Almost as good as pussy."

Happy chuckled. "Wouldn't say that, bro. Mind you, I do get to taste the sweetest pussy there is."

Nikki rolled her eyes. "Wow you are so romantic."

He grinned and kissed the top of her head. "You know it Shorty."

The conversation turned to their plans for a few days away. Money was tight at the moment but Tig grinned and kissed them both on the cheeks, before pulling out his phone and disappearing round the corner, only to emerge minutes later with a smug expression on his face. "How does a beach house just outside LA sound?"

Nikki wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. "Perfect."

"That's good, cos I told Dixie you'd be there tomorrow."

"Who's Dixie?"

Happy roared with laughter. Tig, you're a fucking genius. "Baby girl you are going to love Dixie."


	47. Chapter 47

I don't own sons of anarchy

GETAWAY

Despite loving riding with Happy, there was a limit to how much time Nikki wanted to be on the back of his bike, and she had reached it. It had taken six hours to reach the beach house and she was beginning to doubt whether she would ever feel her ass again.

She was curious about who this Dixie was but Happy was being deliberately obtuse. All she could get from him was that she was 'one of Tig's.'

They rounded a bend and the house came into view. Nikki gasped. "Wow."

She hadn't been sure what she expected, but it wasn't this. The house stood alone, there appeared to be no neighbours for miles, and it was huge. The front door opened and Nikki gasped again. True she hadn't been given much to go on, and 'one of Tig's' could literally mean anything, but she hadn't expected what was standing in front of her right now. Dixie was tall and slim, with jet black hair pulled tightly into a high pony tail. She was immaculate, dressed in head to toe Gucci and as she approached, the distinct scent of Channel no 5 assailed their nostrils. With her perfectly applied makeup and attire, Dixie was one hundred percent class. She was also one hundred percent male.

"Happy, daaaarling." Dixie ran down the path towards them.

Happy took a step back, his hands raised. "Don't even think about it, Dix."

Dixie stuck out her bottom lip. "Aw Happy, just one little kiss wouldn't kill you." She turned her attention to Nikki. "And you must be Nikki, Tiggy's told me so much about you." She kissed her on both cheeks. "Come on in, you must be exhausted after having to ride on that miserable bastard's bike for hours." Taking her arm, Dixie led her inside. Happy grabbed the saddle bags and followed behind, rolling his eyes.

The house was even more impressive inside. "This place is fantastic. Thank you so much for letting us borrow it."

Dixie shrugged. "It's my pleasure, darling. We hardly ever use it. And I'm always happy to help out a friend of Tiggy's." She chuckled. "Even when it's for Mr Macho, over there."

Happy grinned. "Yeah cos you don't want a piece of this fine macho ass."

"One day, Happy. One day."

Happy shook his head. "In your dreams, Dix. I'm gonna grab a beer, why don't you show Nik around. I know your dying to show this place off. And Nik's itching to hear all about you and Tiggy."

Dixie frowned as they watched Happy head into the kitchen. "Is he limping?"

Nikki nodded. "He got jumped by a bunch of Nazi assholes in jail."

"And I suppose he's being all tough and manly about it?" Dixie shook her head. "Men."

Nikki giggled. "So, you and Tig? What's the story?"

"C'mon let's go out on the deck and I'll tell you all about it."

They sat on the hardwood chairs and looked out over the sea. Dixie smiled. "Tig told me, he was your best friend."

"Yeah, which shows just how fucked up my life is."

"Oh no darling. I know people think Tiggy's a crazy psycho, and he does nothing to dispel that myth. But we know different, don't we? He has a big heart and is more sensitive than he lets on."

Nikki smiled. "He has been a good friend to me."

"And to me." Dixie looked at her hands. "He and Happy saved my life. It was in Vegas. I was walking home one night and got attacked. They saw it happen and chased them off." She shuddered at the memory. "My life was a mess back then, I was turning tricks to pay for a drug habit, I had huge debts and was on the brink of losing my home. For reasons I still don't understand, Tig took me under his wing. He lent me the money to pay off my debts and persuaded me to go into rehab. It wasn't sexual. Tig isn't… I know what people think. But he's actually quite conventional." She turned to Nikki. "I think sometimes he just needs to take care of someone. It feeds a need in him."

Nikki nodded. Tig was always the one to take in waifs and strays. He may have been a cold blooded killer. But he was also the one that saved part of his lunch for the one eyed ginger tom that frequented the TM lot and it was him that the croweaters were most likely to turn to if they were in trouble.

"Once I got clean I moved here, and got a job in a club." She smiled. "That was over five years ago, but me and Tig stayed in touch, he even came to my wedding. I don't think I can ever repay him for all he's done for me."

"Wow, Tig at a gay wedding."

"Not just Tig, Happy came too. Under sufferance, I might add. Your old man might be uptight, but he's not homophobic."

Nikki laughed. "Ha, much. I bet he hated every minute of it."

"You have no idea, baby girl. I don't think he took his hand off the hilt of his knife all night." She took Nikki's hand. "C'mon lets go back in to that gorgeous man of yours."

Happy looked up as they walked in and smiled as Nikki sat on his lap and slipped her arms around his neck. Dixie grinned and laid a set of keys on the table with a slip of paper. "My number if you need anything. The fridge is full and there's a freezer in the garage. Help yourselves to anything you want, and if you do decide to venture out, there's a great little bistro a short walk down the beach."

Nikki stood and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you again. This is just what we need."

"Anytime. Have fun. Byeee Happy."

Happy scowled, but raised his hand. "See ya, Dix. Thanks."

Suddenly they were alone. Nikki looked around her. "So what do you want to do?"

Happy grinned.

"Oh okay."

For seven days they didn't see another soul. A whole week of weed, beer and lots and lots of sex. They had made love all over the house as well as in the pool and on the beach. But as they laid wrapped in each other arms, listening to the waves as they hit the beach, Nikki knew that there was one thing they really needed to do, one thing they had both been avoiding. They had to talk. She raised herself onto her forearms. "Hap, can we talk?"

"Sure baby. What d'ya wanna talk about?"

"I'm not sure. Us, the future, everything."

"Shit. Okay. I thought we were okay now. Am I missing something?"

"No we're good, Hap. But I want us to stay that way. We cant go lurching from crisis to crisis all the time. I think I need to know what's going on in your life a little more. I'm not asking for full disclosure, but if I had some idea about what is going on, it might be easier to cope when you're away."

"I don't want you to worry."

"Well that isn't working too well, is it? I worry all the time, Hap. Every time you walk out the door." She gently touched the scar under his ribs. "At least if you told me what was going on, I'd know what I was worrying about."

"We'll see."

"Haap."

"Okay, fine. I'm not gonna go into details with you. I can't risk compromising the security of the club."

"I'm not a rat, Happy."

"I know baby. I trust you."

"But the rest of the club might not?"

"Exactly." He sighed. "The reason I can't transfer to Charming straight away, is because there's a threat from a new MC in Tacoma and we got internal shit going on."

"Between Lorca and Lee?"

"Yeah, how did…."

"Something Kozic said."

"That fucker's got a big mouth. Any ways, until this is under control. I gotta stick around."

"Okay." She frowned. "This new MC. Do they pose a real threat?"

Happy shrugged. "Truthfully, I don't know." He kissed her on the top of her head. "You can be sure I'm gonna keep you safe though. That will always be my top priority."

"I know, Hap." She kissed him softly, her lips lightly brushing his. "I've always trusted you to keep me safe." Her kiss became more forceful. She didn't want to talk anymore. Happy flipped her over and positioned himself between her legs. As far as he was concerned, talking was way overrated.


	48. Chapter 48

I don't own sons of anarchy

PERFECT SPECIMEN

Nikki finished packing the saddle bags and sat back on the bed with a sigh. They would be leaving tomorrow, they couldn't put it off any longer. She looked up as Dixie's Mercedes pulled up outside. With a smile she opened the front door. "Hey."

Dixie kissed her cheek. "Hi sweetie." She looked around. "Where's your man?"

"Working out."

"Oooh that's something I have to see." Grabbing her hand, Dixie hurried to the gym. "Oh wow. He really is a magnificent specimen." They both stood in the doorway and watched as Happy pumped iron, both marvelling at the way his muscles rippled as he worked. Nikki grinned. "He is pretty damn hot."

"Don't you worry about all those whores throwing themselves at him? I swear if he were mine, I'd never let him out of my sight."

"Sometimes." Nikki conceded. "When I'm not worrying about him getting shot, or stabbed, or getting crushed by an eighteen wheeler, or getting arrested."

"Oh my god. How do you cope?"

Nikki's smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "What makes you think I do?"

"You poor girl. Does he know?"

"Why do you think we're here? Sometimes, it all gets a bit much and I need to remember why I fell in love with him in the first place."

Dixie slipped her arm though hers and led her into the kitchen. "Tiggy said you were having a rough time." They sat down and Dixie poured them both a glass of wine. "Story time. How did you two meet?"

Nikki shook her head. "Long story."

"And one you're not going to share, right?"

"Right."

"Okay then, next question. When did you realise you were in love with him?"

"I don't know. I think it was the first time we made love."

"Wow. He's that good?"

Nikki grinned.

"And I thought Tig was impressive." Dixie laughed at Nikki's expression. "I said Tiggy had conventional tastes. I didn't say he wasn't curious." She shrugged. "And a blow job was the least I could do. Of course Happy turned me down."

Nikki shook her head. She doubted there was much that Tig hadn't tried. Her old man, however was different. He knew what he liked, and stuck to it. She was pretty broad minded, but she had to admit, it was reassuring.

They both looked up as Happy came in, bare chested and dripping with sweat, his jeans hanging low on his hips. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and rolled his eyes as he noticed the look of lust on both their faces. "I'm gonna take a shower."

Nikki stood and gave Dixie an apologetic grin. Dixie chuckled. "You go girl. That is too good an opportunity to miss."

Happy grinned as he heard her step under the shower and felt her soft hands run up his back. He turned and with his hand under her chin, brought her face up to his. Shower sex was his favourite thing, after beach sex, up a wall sex, kitchen sex, bike sex. Sex anywhere with his girl was his favourite thing. Nikki laid her hands, flat, against his chest. "You are so hot, Lowman."

"I'm beginning to think you only want me for my body." Happy growled and slammed her against the shower wall. "Shallow bitch."

She grinned, and sank her teeth into his shoulder. "Yep. Now shut up and fuck me."

Dixie had left when they re-emerged. Nikki felt slightly guilty about leaving her like that and immediately called her to apologize. Dixie of course would hear nothing of it, she fully approved of jumping your man at every opportunity, especially when your man was as hot as Happy. After giving Nikki instructions on where to leave the key, she wished her well for the journey home and made her promise to call as soon as she got home safe. She smiled to herself. She was starting to like Dixie a lot. There was always room in her life for new friends and Nikki felt like she'd found another one.

She wandered out onto the deck, to where Happy was firing up the barbeque, and slipped her arms around his waist, resting her cheek against his back. He turned and wrapped his arms around her. "We good, Shorty?"

"Never better, Hap."

All to soon it was time to leave. They would be spending the night in Charming and calling in on Happy's mom before making the long haul north. Happy had wanted to do the final leg in one hit, but Nikki had put her foot down. There was no way she was spending at least twelve hours on the back of his bike. He took a little persuading, but once he realized she would be too tired and stiff for sex, he gave in. Nikki wrapped her arms around his waist as they set off for the long ride home. He turned and grinned. "All set Shorty?"

She nodded and gave him a small smile as he gunned the engine and they set off back to the real world.

It was raining hard as they approached Tacoma. Even with her hands tucked into Happy's pockets, Nikki had lost all feeling in her fingers. She tucked her head down into his back and closed her eyes. Why the fuck did she have to marry a biker.

By the time she got home, she was cold, wet and miserable. Happy led her into the bedroom and helped her out of her wet clothes and into those hateful pj's, ignoring his own discomfort, he wrapped a blanket around her, led her back into the lounge and lit the fire, before kissing her on her forehead, taking off his own sodden clothes and joining her on the sofa clutching two steaming mugs of tea. Nikki rested her head on his shoulder. "I really love you, Happy Lowman."

They didn't realize, as they sat there, thawing out in front of the fire, that this was the calm before the storm, and what a particularly nasty little shitstorm it was going to be.


	49. Chapter 49

I don't own sons of anarchy

THREAT

Happy sat opposite his president, trying to keep a lid on his temper. "I told you, Lee, I needed some time away with my girl. I've given this club over ten years loyal service. And you're giving me shit cos I took a few days out?"

He shook his head. "Maybe if you'd have given her the support she needed when I was in the slammer, she wouldn't have lost her shit and we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Lee leaned back, with a sneer. "I got bigger things to worry about, than baby sitting some gash."

Happy felt himself getting to his feet. "That gash is my old lady."

"Hap, sit down."

Happy complied. He might have been pissed, but you do not disrespect your president. Ever. His lip curled. "Dunno why you need me around anyway. According to you, you got everything sown up tight. Gun runs are running smooth, the car parts are earning us big. What's your fucking problem?"

"My problem, Happy, is you running off playing happy families when we got this jumped up MC snapping at our heels."

Happy slammed his hand on the table. "The same MC that I said we should've taken down a year ago. It was you that said they were too chicken shit to hit us."

"They weren't a threat then. Things have changed. Somebody's arming them They're getting bold, Hap, another truck was hit last week, took the car parts due for export, and they've set up another cookhouse, somewhere close."

"How close?" Suddenly, Happy's beef with Lee was forgotten. There was no point in going over old ground. The club was under threat and it was his job to protect it.

Lee smirked. Happy would never put his personal life ahead of the club. "Got Koz and Lorca looking into it and Spider's trying to find out who's backing them." He ran his hand across his forehead, suddenly looking like the old man he had become. "Reckon you an' Lorca were right. I underestimated these shitheads."

Happy shrugged and stood up. "I'm going to talk to Kozic." He patted Lee on the shoulder. "We gotta shut these fuckers down."

When he wasn't carrying out club duties, Kozic worked as an electrician for the construction company the club was partnered with. Working for a company with such close links to the MC meant that he had pretty much free rein to come an go as he pleased. Although even those, like Happy, that were employed by companies with no direct link to the club, tended to have the same privileges. After all, it always paid to be a friend of the club.

"Kozic?" Happy walked through the empty building, ignoring the foreman's warning that he needed to be wearing a hard hat. "Where you at?"

Kozic put down his tools and headed towards his brother. "Hap, how was your vacation?"

With a shrug, Happy turned and walked outside, Kozic close on his heels. As soon as he was sure they couldn't be overheard, he stopped. "What do we know about this new cookhouse."

Kozic sighed, his brother was never big on small talk. "Not much. They're definitely up and running again, and judging by the amount of activity recently they're practically right under our noses." He leaned on a wall and lit a cigarette. "They seem to be recruiting as well."

"From where?"

"Not sure. By the look of some of the ink, could be white hate."

"You think that's where the guns are coming from?"

"I dunno, Hap. It's like they've gone from two bit nobodies to a real threat, overnight."

"Aint been overnight. They've had over a year to organize themselves." He scowled. "This is what happens when you get complacent."

"Says the man who just spent the last two weeks laying in the sun in California."

As quick as a rattle snake, Happy's hand shot forward and grabbed Kozic by the throat. "Was taking care of my old lady." He started to squeeze. "I will tell you what I told Lee. My girl was freaking out cos you left her hanging when I was in the joint."

"I'm sorry man." Kozic croaked. "We let you down."

Happy let him go. "No. You let her down."

Suddenly he didn't want to talk anymore. "We'll talk tonight, see if we can't come up with some sort of strategy to finally put a stop to this bullshit. Get the guys together. I'll see you later."

He climbed on his bike and rode out of town, he needed to clear his head. If he was honest with himself, he was hurt by how much they had disrespected both Nikki and himself. He always had, and always would put the club above every thing else, but for the first time in more than ten years, he wondered whether it was the right thing to do. Even an hour on his bike did nothing to quell the noise in his head so it came as no surprise that he found himself pulling up outside Charlie's.

Nikki smiled as her man walked into the nearly empty bar. "Hey."

Happy managed a small smile. "Hey, Shorty." He looked over to Charlie. "Can you spare her for a few minutes."

Charlie, shrugged. "Yeah, aint exactly rushed off our feet here."

They went outside to the tiny yard out back. Happy leaned with his back against the wall and lit a cigarette. Nikki touched his arm. "Hap?"

He sighed. "Got a lotta noise in my head. Never questioned my role in the club before."

Nikki took his hand in hers. "Why are you questioning it now?"

"Never asked for anything. In all the years I've been a member, I've gone where I was sent, did what I was told." He shook his head. "All I asked was that they looked out for you, and they let you down."

"Happy. I told you, I should've asked for help. Maybe you're right and Kozic should've looked out for me like you asked. But just because he fucked up, doesn't mean you should question your place in the club, or his love for you."

"You think I'm overreacting?"

"I think your feelings are hurt."

"You make me sound like a pussy."

"I don't think you're a pussy. I think you feel that all that loyalty has been thrown back in your face." She reached up and kissed him. "Families fall out, they hurt each other. It's what they do, Hap. Doesn't mean they don't love each other."

"They disrespected you."

Nikki shrugged. "I got a thick skin, Hap. You respect me. That's all I care about. I never want to be the one who comes between you and your family."

Happy ran his fingers through her hair. "You are the most amazing woman."

"No I'm not, I just happen to be in love with the most amazing man."

Later as he sat in church with his brothers, Happy realized Nikki was right. They were a family, they had petty fallings out, power struggles and rivalries. But at times like this when they were under threat they all pulled together. Even as they squabbled over details, the love they had for one another was plain to see.

As usual, in situations like this, Happy sat back and let others take the lead. He still felt Lee was being overly cautious, but he had been president of the charter for over a decade and a patched member for nearly thirty years, so he guessed the wily old fox knew a thing or two, and it would be good to be able to box clever and take this MC down without things breaking out into a full scale war. Happy leaned back, ignoring the little voice in his head that was telling him it was too late for that and war was inevitable. If anyone asked his opinion, he would give it. But until then he would keep his fears to himself.


	50. Chapter 50

I don't own sons of anarchy

MONSTER

It was bitterly cold outside, the clouds hung heavy in the sky, threatening rain. Inside the empty warehouse, however, Happy had stripped down to his wife beater and sweat ran down his back and chest in rivulets, the result of both exertion and adrenalin.

After a week of pussy footing around, trying to gather intel on Spawn MC, the club had agreed to take the 'Happy approach.'

He had to admit that the broken man in front of him was showing some balls and had so far resisted all his efforts go get him to give up the whereabouts of either the cookhouse or the car parts. There was a small, perverse part of him that was oddly proud of him. Stevie had been his brother until an increasingly nasty drug habit had led him to make some very foolish decisions. And despite being instrumental in setting up this rival MC, he still clearly understood the meaning of honour and loyalty. Didn't mean Happy would go any easier on him though. If the man didn't fear death, he would make him beg for it. It was getting close, he could feel it. His knowledge of anatomy, that ironically made him such an accomplished lover, meant that he knew just how much pain a body could withstand without blacking out. He could keep this up for hours, days if he had to, something the man in front of him was well aware of. "Please Happy." It was barely a whisper. "End this now."

Happy smiled. "Tell me what I want to know."

"I.. I can't. Please, brother."

"I am not your brother." Happy brought the blowtorch closer, and the smell of burning flesh again filled the warehouse.

Kozic turned away as Stevie screamed, begging for mercy. He had been the one to sponsor Stevie and as an ex-junkie himself, he understood better than most, the hold that drugs could have. He should have stayed away, but he knew that this would be tough on Happy too. Despite his willingness to do this for his club, it must have been painful for him to hurt his former brother in such a terrible way.

Happy leaned forward. "Tell me, and this stops." Stevie nodded. "Okay." Happy nodded to Lorca who was standing by the door, looking slightly green. "He's all yours."

Once he had got all the information he needed Lorca turned to Happy. "Put the poor fucker out of his misery." Stevie looked up as Happy pressed the muzzle against his temple. "I'm sorry."

Happy squeezed the trigger. "Yeah me too."

The clubhouse fell silent as he walked towards the bar and grabbed a bottle of vodka. They may have got the information they needed, and more, but it felt like a hollow victory and the look on Happy's face was enough for everyone to give him a wide berth.

He pulled out his phone. "Hey baby girl. I'm gonna stay at the clubhouse tonight."

Nikki took a deep breath. "Okay. Hap, I…."

"No don't say that." He hung up, he didn't deserve her love. Not tonight. He took a huge swig from the bottle and turned to Kozic. "Go watch my girl."

Kozic nodded and walked slowly to the door, his eyes meeting those of Quinn who was watching Happy closely. The big nomad nodded and he smiled. Happy would be taken care of.

Kozic knocked on Nikki's door and treated her to one of his killer smiles. "Hey babe. Thought I'd keep you company for the evening."

Nikki smiled. "Happy sent you, didn't he. Is he okay?"

"Yeah. He just needs… I dunno, space I guess." He squeezed her shoulder. "He'll be fine, Quinn's watching him."

Nikki nodded and led him inside. "So movie and Pizza night?"

Kozic kissed her forehead. "Perfect."

Quinn leaned on the bar drinking a beer and watched silently as his brother polished off the bottle of vodka. Happy turned and squinting, peered at his brother. "Quinn, wassup?"

"You tell me, bro."

"Had to do it man. Din wanna. For the club. Had to do it." He slurred. Sliding off the stool, he staggered towards the dorms. He leered at a sweetbutt leaning on the pool table. "Wanna piece o' dis, bitch?"

She moved towards him, only to be grabbed roughly by Quinn. "Oh no you don't darling." He pushed her back against the table. "I want you and all your skanky little friends to stay well away from Happy. If I hear of any of you even as much as looking in his direction, I will kick your ass all the way to Seattle." She dropped her eyes and skulked off into the corner. Raine Quinn was one man you didn't want to cross. He followed Happy as he staggered into one of the dorms and collapsed, face first onto the bed, before returning to the bar to finish his beer. He looked up as Lorca pulled up a stool next to him. "Is he gonna be okay? That was some sick shit back there."

Quinn nodded. "Yeah. He gets like this sometimes. He just has a night or two of self loathing, drinks himself unconscious, maybe gets in a fight. He'll be fine. Just need to keep him away from Nikki while he's like this. wouldn't like to see her caught in the crossfire."

"Is someone with her?"

"Yeah. Koz will stay with her."

Lorca swallowed. "I dunno how he does it, man. I got a pretty strong stomach. But fuck."

Quinn shrugged. "He's a tough motherfucker. But don't ever think that he takes what he does lightly. And don't think it comes without a price. What he did today, killed him." He downed the last of his beer. "He's good at burying this shit. But one of these days I reckon it'll come back and bite him. And when it does… God help us all."

The next morning, after talking to Lee and promising to stick around for a while longer, Quinn found himself propping up the bar with a large mug of coffee and a donut. The sound of groaning caused him to look up and he gave a broad grin. "How you feeling brother?"

Happy slumped against the bar and pulling his glock from it's holster handed it to Quinn and pointed to his temple. "Kill me."

Quinn laughed loudly, causing Happy to wince with pain. "Feeling a bit under the weather?"

"Oh you are just loving this, aint ya." He swallowed as the bile rose in his throat. "See how funny you find it when I puke over your cut." He pushed himself away from the bar and almost made it to the john before throwing up all over the floor.

Quinn rolled his eyes. Thank god for prospects. "Better out than in, man,"

"Fuck you." Deciding that getting out of bed was clearly overambitious, Happy staggered back to the dorm and onto the bed.

Quinn shook his head and pulled out his phone. "Hey darling."

Nikki frowned. "Hey, what's up. Is Hap okay?"

"Yeah. Just giving you the heads up. Can't see him coming home anytime soon. He's got the hangover from hell, needs to sleep it off."

"He is okay though?"

"He will be, darling. He just got some shit he needs to work out."

"Quinn, you will stay with him, wont you?"

"Always, darling. Don't worry, I got your boy's back."

It was another day before Happy came home. Sneaking in while she was at work, he was showered and shaved by the time she got home. At first glance, he looked like his old self. It was only when she looked into his eyes that she could see he was still hurting. She sat next to him on the sofa and picking up the remote control, switched off the tv.

"Hey, I was watching that."

Nikki wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. "You can watch it later."

He deepened the kiss, his hands finding their way up her tee shirt and roughly squeezing her tits. "Turn over."

She gently pushed him away. "Not this time, Hap. I want you to know it's me your fucking."

"I do baby, I just can't stand for you to look at me right now."

Nikki cupped his face in her hands and looked deeply into his eyes. "What do you think I can see?"

"A monster."

She kissed him, her hands never leaving his face. "A monster wouldn't care."

He had been afraid he'd hurt her and that was the last thing he wanted to do. But as usual, he'd underestimated her. As she gently took the lead he realized that despite those unspeakable acts, she didn't see a monster to be afraid of, but a man who needed to be loved. He lay, with his head on her breast as she stroked his brow. "I am a monster. If you knew what I've done…"

"You did what needed to be done, what your brothers couldn't do." She gently kissed the top of his head. "Do I strike you as the type of woman that loves a monster?"

"I guess not."

"Then make love to me like a man."

There wasn't really time for them to reconnect. They needed to destroy the cookhouse and steal back the car parts before Stevie was missed. The sooner they struck, the less opportunity for retaliation.

Happy knew there dangerous times ahead. He didn't see how it could be avoided. They were now at war.


	51. Chapter 51

I don't own sons of anarchy

WAR

As Honey readied herself for the night, she couldn't deny that over the last year, her lifestyle had really taken a toll on her looks. The fine bone structure was still there, but now the skin covering it was sallow and loose. Her eyes were sunken and that once thick, flowing blond hair was thin and limp. She found it hard to find work these days. Even the seediest clubs didn't want such an obvious junkie on their books.

She was no longer welcome in the Samtac clubhouse. Kozic had made it clear that junkies weren't welcome and Happy had warned her in no uncertain terms, what would happen to her if she tried to stay in touch with Nikki.

With a sigh, she applied more concealer to the vivid bruise on her cheek before walking out into the Spawn MC clubhouse. Honey had always known that bikers were at best, sexist. But whereas with the Sons it tended to manifest itself as indifference, Spawn patches had short tempers and quick fists. Just looking at a member the wrong way could easily result in a slap down. Unfortunately Honey was no longer in a position to be fussy. The club offered her a ready supply of meth and security of sorts. So she stuck around, allowing herself to be passed around the patches and occasionally used as a punch bag. But as she walked through the run down, near derelict old night club that the Spawn used as their clubhouse, she could feel her resentment growing. Like many junkies, Honey found it easier to blame others for her predicament that to take responsibility for her own actions. Fucking sons. Fucking Kozic, he of all people, should have supported her. Fucking Happy, keeping her away from her friend. Fucking Nikki for bagging the hottest son. She was the beautiful one, it should have been her.

Happy watched as his girl got ready for work. Her eyes met his and she smiled. "Like what you see?"

"Always. You are one hot bitch." His grin matched hers. "Reckon you should hurry up and get dressed or I'm gonna have to jump ya, and make you late for work." He had taken to accompanying her to and from work or, if he wasn't available, getting a prospect to do it. Things were starting to get bloody. Any hopes he might have had for a quick end to this bullshit MC were looking more and more unlikely.

Taking down the cookhouse had been pretty straight forward and they had managed to recover the car parts with minimal resistance. However since then, things seemed to have deteriorated into, what could be only described as guerrilla warfare. Tit for tat hits and random shootings seemed to be the order of the day now, and Sons no longer showed their colours when riding alone. Two more trucks had been hijacked and Samcro no longer used Samtac to run their guns. The risk was too great. As a result money was tight, especially as it was difficult for the guys to do their regular jobs when so much time was taken up with club shit. Nikki had offered to take more shifts, but Happy had said no. He didn't want her working at night anymore.

Despite all that was going on, or maybe because of it. Nikki and Happy were closer than ever. When every day spent together could be your last, little things like dirty dishes left in the sink or borrowing your truck without telling you, stop being important. He wrapped his arms around her. "Got a feeling things are gonna kick off. If you're determined not to stay in Charming, will you at least agree to stay in the clubhouse, just for a while?"

Nikki sighed. "You really think it's necessary?"

Happy shrugged. "Lee's getting impatient, can't say I blame him. We gotta up the ante. Don't want you getting caught up in any bloodshed."

She slipped her arms around his waist and rested her forehead against his chest. "It scares me when you talk like this."

"I'll keep you safe."

"It's not me I'm scared for." She closed her eyes. "If I was to lose you…"

Happy pulled her closer. "Aint going nowhere, Shorty."

Nikki sat on the ratty old sofa in the corner of the clubhouse, hugging her knees. Happy's prediction had proven true and the club had voted to storm their rival's clubhouse. This was a high risk strategy. If they pulled it off, they could put a stop to this club for good. But if they screwed it up, the reprisals could be terrible and immediate. Lee had agreed to Happy's request for a lock down. Unlike the Spawn, who's clubhouse was on the edge of an industrial district and was poorly defended. Samtac had had twenty years to fortify their clubhouse. It was right on the edge of town with a single approach road and was well covered by cctv. With it's numbers swelled by every nomad on the west coast, it was probably the safest place in Tacoma. She watched as Happy and his brothers readied themselves for the attack. Despite the shotguns, they carried, it would be unlikely that guns would used. Too noisy and likely to attract the authorities. Baseball bats, axes and bike chains could be very effective weapons, and there was less chance of injuring one of your own guys.

"Hey, you okay?" He sat down and kissed her gently on the lips.

She nodded and turned to him, her eyes drinking him in. This could be the last time she saw him. "Come back to me Hap."

"You got it shorty."

The tactics were simple. Storm in, hit 'em hard and get the fuck out of there. A tried and tested MC approach. Happy didn't know how successful it would be but he got to bust some heads. Next to fucking his girl, shit kicking was his favorite thing. He had to admit, sometimes the simplest ideas are the most effective. The Spawn were taken completely by surprise and although they had put up a spirited defense, at least half of their number wouldn't be riding again anytime soon, if they had bikes to ride on that was. Happy's special Molotov cocktails had put paid to them. The Sons hadn't escaped without any casualties. Quinn had a nasty gash down his arm that would need stitching, Happy's limp that had all but disappeared was back and he had a feeling he had busted a couple of bones in his hand and Lorca's nose was definitely broken. But they were all whole, more or less, and spirits were high as they sat in the clubhouse getting patched up by the sweet butts and old ladies who treated them like conquering heroes.

Nikki had never stitched anyone up before. But as Happy sat with his leg propped up, an ice pack on his hand watching his girl stitching Quinn's arm, apologizing every time he winced, he had to admit she did a pretty good job. She really was a great old lady.

Bill Smith, president of the Spawn MC, sat in ER as the nurse treated the burns to his arms and face. The sons would pay for what they did, especially that tattooed fucker that had set fire to his bike and probably left him scarred for life.

Honey sat on the hard plastic chair waiting for him to be discharged and listened to him rant. His clubhouse had been destroyed, at least five of his brothers hospitalized but he seemed more concerned about his bike. She swallowed, building up her courage, speaking out of turn could earn her a slap. "The guy you're talking about. I think I know how to get to him."

"Sure you do bitch. If I want your opinion I'll ask."

Honey looked at the floor. The sons had destroyed the clubhouse and probably the club. And along with it what little security she had. Fucking Happy and his fucking smug old lady. "You want to hurt Happy?"

"I want to fucking kill him." Billy looked at her. "You really think you know how to get to him?"

"His old lady. That's his weakness."

"And how do I get to her? She'll be protected."

"You can't. But I can."


	52. Chapter 52

I don't own sons of anarchy

REVENGE

The days following the Sons' raid on the Spawn clubhouse were filled with tension and paranoia. No one rode out alone. None of the women went anywhere unaccompanied. Everyone was on tenderhooks, waiting for the Spawn to strike. But as the days turned to weeks there were no signs of retaliation. They had hurt them and hurt them bad and it was starting to look like they had dispersed. Gradually The Sons started to relax. Maybe it had been enough. Maybe that bullshit MC didn't have the stomach for a war after all.

Happy, however, was still on edge. But when he took his fears to Lee, they were dismissed. As far as his president was concerned their victory was concise. It would be a while before Spawn regrouped. If they ever did. Even Lorca was starting to relax. But nothing anyone said to him could shake the feeling that something very bad was going to happen.

Nikki rolled her eyes as she checked her rear view mirror. He was still insisting on her being accompanied where ever she went, and if she was honest it was getting embarrassing. She was sure that the prospect that had been assigned the job tonight had things he'd rather be doing. Although judging by the grin on his face when he followed her into Charlie's, maybe it wasn't such an onerous task.

It had taken all her powers of persuasion to get Happy to agree to let her work the evening shifts, they paid better and they really needed the money. The only way he would agree was if she had someone with her for the entire shift. She shook her head and gave a rueful smile as the prospect wandered off to watch his favourite girl. How much protection did Happy think that a spotty youth like that really offered. It was a typical Saturday night and as usual Nikki was rushed off her feet, she soon forgot all about the young man on the other side of the room.

"Hey baby girl."

Nikki gasped. "Honey, fuck. What are you doing here?" She was sure she couldn't hide her shock at her old friend's appearance. "If Hap finds out you've been here he'll flip."

"I know. But I'm in trouble, Nik." Her bottom lip quivered. "I don't know who else I can turn to."

"If it's money, I'm sorry Honey. We're broke."

"No, no. Please Nik. I just need someone to talk to." She sniffed. "Just five minutes."

Nikki sighed. "I get a break in half an hour. I'll see you at the burger bar. Please, Honey. Go before Charlie sees you. I don't want him telling Happy you were here."

Charlie looked over as Honey walked out of the door. "Nikki tell me that aint who I thought it was."

"She's leaving, Charlie. Please don't say anything to Hap."

"I don't want to see her here again."

"Neither do I Charlie. It breaks my heart to see her like that. But, honestly, I think she's beyond help."

Charlie nodded and wandered off to check on his customers. And Nikki was too busy to dwell on the reason for Honey's unexpected appearance.

It was nearly an hour later when she finally got the chance to take a break. "Freddy I'm gonna have a break now, be back in fifteen."

Freddy, her co-worker, a huge lump of a man who combined bartending with general security, nodded and continued pouring beers.

Nikki stepped out into the cold December air. So much for being in Charming for Christmas. She set out across the road towards the burger joint.

"Nik! Over here." Honey stood at the end of the alleyway that ran alongside the club, hugging herself against the cold.

Ignoring the little voice that was telling her that following junkies down dark alleys was a bad idea, Nikki walked towards her former friend. She didn't see the hand dart out from between the dumpsters. All she was aware of was someone grabbing her and slamming her hard against the wall before the world went black.

Charlie looked around. "Where's Nikki?"

Freddie shrugged. "Went on her break." He frowned. "That was over half an hour ago. Lazy bitch better get back in here, I aint covering for her all night."

"Shit." Charlie turned to where the prospect was still sitting with a stupid grin on his face as one of the girls gyrated in his face. "Shit. She go outside?"

"Think so. Wasn't really looking." Freddie carried on drying the glasses. "She didn't go out back. Maybe she went for a burger."

"Oh shit, shit, shit." Charlie ran to the burger joint, praying she was there. Finding it empty, he slumped against the wall. "Shit." He hurried back over the road ."Nik? C'mon, girl where are you?" Her truck was still there but of Nikki, there was no sign. "Shit."

George loved being a son. He wasn't technically a son yet of course, but he would be soon. Already he was getting free dances and women were throwing themselves at him. By the time he was fully patched. Wow. The sky would be the limit. He looked up as Charlie rushed towards him, worry written all over his podgy face. "Hey man, what's up?"

"Nikki's gone."

"Gone? She can't have."

"She went out side for a break, and now she's gone." Charlie ran his hand over his head. "Her truck's still there. I think she's been snatched."

George felt the blood drain from his face. He'd never get his top rocker now. Although that was the least of his worries. "He'll kill me wont he? I mean really kill me." He looked up at Charlie. "What am I gonna do?"

Charlie shrugged. "You're gonna call him, and then if I were you, I would get on my bike and get as far away from Tacoma as fast as you can." He smiled. "If you're lucky he'll never find you."

Nikki opened her eyes and groaned. Her head was pounding and her hands were tied tightly behind her back. Desperately, she tried to get her bearings. She was clearly in the back of a van being driven at speed along a deeply rutted track. She carefully turned her head, the van was driven by a guy who's face appeared to be horribly scarred and in the passenger seat was her former friend. "Hey asshole." She croaked. "You are a dead man. You know that, don't ya. Happy will kill you."

The man laughed. "Oh I don't think so. Not when it's me holding the aces."

Nikki struggled against her restraints. "He will find you."

Again the man laughed. "I'm banking on it. In fact I'll give him a fucking map."

Nikki swallowed. She wouldn't cry, wouldn't show weakness. "You're dead. Both of you."

Honey shuddered. Suddenly this seemed like a really, really bad idea.

"Gone? How can she be gone?" Suddenly it felt to Happy like the world had shifted on it's axis. "You were supposed to be watching her." It felt like his knees were about to buckle and the room started to sway. He leaned back against the pool table. For the first time in his entire life, Happy Lowman had no idea what to do.

Kozic frowned as he saw his friend stagger back against the pool table. He reached out his hand. "Hap?"

Happy looked at his friend, a look of devastation on his face. "She's gone." He swallowed. "This is my fault. I should have been there. Shit, Koz. Someone's taken Nikki."

Kozic ran his fingers through his hair. "We'll get her back bro. this aint your fault, you were needed on this run."

"I need to talk to Charlie." Happy straightened up.

"No, man. You need to stay here. I'll go talk to Charlie." Kozic turned. "Spider with me."

Lorca looked up. "Problem?"

"Nikki's disappeared. We need to get every one together. Watch Hap. Don't let him lose his shit."

Lorca nodded and watched as Kozic and Spider headed for the door, before turning his attention to a shattered looking Happy.

Charlie had closed the bar early. His customers weren't happy. But his favourite bartender was missing and that had to take precedent. He didn't think he'd ever seen Kozic wound so tight. He was obviously fond of the girl. "Where the fuck's the prospect?"

"He took off. Terrified Happy will kill him."

"Oh he will. But right now we got more important things to worry about. What do you know?"

Charlie shrugged. "Not much. She went outside and vanished. There was one thing though, it could be coincidence. You remember Honey?"

Kozic nodded.

" She was here earlier. I know they used to be close. But that girl has got a serious habit now and I heard she was hanging with some real low lifes."

Kozic nodded. "You got a number?"

Charlie nodded and handed him a scrap of paper. "Hope this helps."

Honey paced up and down the back room of the warehouse. This was such a bad idea. Nikki was tied to a chair in the next room. They had gagged her, but the damage had been done. Every word Nikki had spoken was true. She was dead. They all were. She stopped as her phone chirped. "Hello?"

"Hi, Honey. It's Kozic. Can you talk?"

"I…I. Yeah."

"Good girl. Nikki. She with you? C'mon Honey, help me out here. You know it's your only chance." Kozic swallowed the urge to yell. Softly, he continued. "The asshole who took her, forced you to help, didn't he."

This was her chance, her one and only chance of survival. "Let me help you sweetheart. Just tell me where she is."

"Disused warehouse at the end of lake side avenue."

"Good girl. Now how many?"

"Four." She took a deep breath. "I could open the back door. You'd be able to get in without being seen. You promise me, you wont let Happy kill me?"

"I promise. There's just one more thing. What do they want?"

"Happy."

Kozic hung up with a grin. "Well that was easy. Now comes the tricky part." He opened his phone again. "Quinn. How quick can you be in Tacoma?"

"Two hours."

"Make it an hour and a half. Got some shit kicking to do. Happy's girl's been snatched."

"Fuck! I'm on my way."

Feeling helpless wasn't something Happy had ever experienced before. He paced up and down. He sat down, then stood up again. Lorca scowled. "Happy Sit the fuck down. We'll get her back."

"I shouldn't have left her. This is my fault."

"No it aint. Look Kozic's on it. Quinn's on his way. We got this brother. They aint gonna hurt her."

"You don't know that." Happy stood and resumed his pacing. "They could be doing anything. They could be…"

"Happy. Stop!" Lorca stood and held him by the upper arms. "We are going to get her back in one piece."

Happy's phone rang. It was her! "Nikki?"

"What's the matter, Happy? Missing your girl?"

"Who the fuck is this? I wanna talk to my old lady."

"Hap?"

Happy swallowed. "Hey shorty. You okay?"

"Yeah. I love you, Hap."

"I'm gonna get you baby…Hello?"

"Listen carefully, If you want to ever see your bitch again. You will do exactly what I say."

Nikki had no idea how long, she'd been there. An hour? Two hours? Three? The light through the filthy window, told her that dawn was breaking and she had a desperate urge to pee. "Mmph mmm." She rocked her chair and rolled her eyes. Trying to communicate to the thug in the corner. Mercifully he looked up and sauntered over. "What you want?" He roughly yanked off the duct tape.

"Need to pee." She croaked.

"Okay. But don't try anything funny." He cut the tape around her ankles and pulled her to her feet. They reached the toilet door and he looked over to Honey who was slumped in the corner. She was jonesing. Bad. "Hey, bitch. Help her."

Honey helped her pull down her jeans, whispering all the time. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." As soon as she was finished Nikki stood and their eyes met. Honey whispered so low she could hardly hear. "They're coming."

Nikki gave a tiny nod and as she walked back to the chair, her eye caught the slightest movement through the window and she smiled. They weren't coming. They were here. She lowered her eyes. "Do think I could have some water, please?"

Mr Thug grunted and walked over to a sink in the corner. He filled a glass lifted it to her lips allowing her to take a sip. She smiled and with all her might brought her forehead crashing down onto his. Her grin got wider as he crashed to the floor. "That, is what my friend Chibs tells me, is a Glasgow kiss."

A crash followed by a short burst of gunfire told her that the Sons were most definitely in the building. The door burst open and Happy ran through. Crouching down behind her, he untied her hands then helped her to her feet. Nikki practically collapsed in his arms. "Hap."

"Sssh. I got ya." He wiped the blood from the cut on her forehead and looked at the unconscious man on the floor behind him. "Did you do that?"

She nodded. "Chibs' self defense lessons."

He brought his mouth down to hers and kissed her fiercely. "I am so proud of you."

As they pulled apart a movement from the man on the floor caught her eye. "Hap!"

As the man raised his gun, Nikki pushed Happy and a pain like nothing she had ever experienced before ripped through her chest and she started to fall backwards.

"Nikki! Nikki, open your eyes."

She wanted to, she really did. It was just too hard. She was vaguely aware of being picked up and being put in a van. She tried to focus of Happy's voice. Begging her to stay with him, to open her eyes. She wanted to tell him it was okay, she was just very, very tired. Gradually his voice got fainter and fainter until all she could hear was the beat of her heart and then…

Nothing.

DUM DUM DUM!

Happy new year


	53. Chapter 53

I don't own sons of anarchy

BLAME

"Happy wants me to stay, so I'm staying."

"Yeah well I'm here now, so you can just fuck of blondie."

"I aint fucking off anywhere. Tiggy. So suck it up asshole."

"Yeah cos you're just who Nik's gonna wanna see when she wakes up."

"Why wouldn't she?"

"Cos you're an asshole. I'm her best friend. She fucking loves me, so why don't you just run along and get your hair done or something."

Nikki opened her eyes and pulled the oxygen mask away from her face. "Can't you two please, just shut the fuck up?"

Tig made it to the side of her bed first. "Hey Doll." He gently stroked her hair. "You had us worried for a while."

She swallowed, her throat felt like she'd been gargling crushed glass. "Where's Hap?"

"He'll be here." Now put this mask back on and try and get some rest.

Tig moved to replace the oxygen mask but she stopped him. "He's freaking out. isn't he?"

"A bit."

She nodded and closed her eyes. "Tig." It was barely a whisper.

"Yes Doll."

"It really fucking hurts."

"I know." He put the mask back and stroked her hair as she drifted back into unconsciousness. He turned to Kozic. "Hap needs to be here."

"I know, bro." Kozic pulled up another chair, their petty squabble forgotten. "He's completely lost the plot man. I aint ever seen him like this."

"Anyone with him?"

"Quinn. He's about the only one who can handle him right now."

Tig nodded. Quinn was the one to sponsor Happy and was one of the few people who really understood him. "He running interference?"

Kozic gave a small smile. "You better believe it. The guy is on a rampage to end all rampages."

Tig turned back to Nikki. "She needs him. I get that he's tripping out. But this aint about him." He stood and kissed her gently on her forehead. "Stay with her."

Kozic said nothing as he watched his counterpart strut out of the room. Less than five minutes ago he was telling him he shouldn't be here, now he was telling him to stay. He shook his head. Inconsistent fucker. He turned to the little girl on the bed and took her hand. "Don't worry, Babe. Tig'll go get your man."

* * *

Quinn was reaching the end of his rope. Happy was on the path of self destruction. He had sat with him in that waiting room while Nikki was in theatre. It had been touch and go for a while. She'd actually arrested twice on the table. For seven hours Happy had sat in complete silence, his eyes fixed on the door waiting for the surgeon to walk through and tell him she was going to be okay. Seven hours he waited, and when he finally got the news they were all waiting for, that she was going to make a full recovery. He stood and without a word walked out. That had been three days ago and all he'd wanted to do was drink himself into oblivion and punch anyone in his path. He wouldn't talk, didn't even want to ride. And as another day dawned, Quinn had no idea what he was supposed to do. He turned as the clubhouse door opened and Tig marched in. "Just thought you'd like to know your old lady is awake and wondering where the fuck you are." Happy swallowed his Jack and held out his glass for a refill. Tig grabbed his shoulder. "I said your old lady is awake."

Happy shrugged his hand off. "Take your fucking hand off me."

Quinn braced himself. Here we go again.

Tig grinned. "Ooh I don't think I can do that, brother. You see that's my best friend in that hospital bed. An' right now she's scared and in pain an' the only person that can make that right is you."

"I'm the last person she needs. I'm the reason she's there."

Tig shrugged. "That's for her to decide."

Happy picked up his replenished glass, only to have it knocked out of his hand. "You really want to go there Tigger?"

Quinn pushed him self away from the bar and started to clear some space. Over the last three days, Happy had destroyed two tables, two bar stools and numerous glasses. If he carried on like this for much longer, the patches would all be sitting on the floor with nothing to drink out of.

Tig grinned and spread out his arms. "Take your best shot, killa. I'm sure hitting me will make you feel so much better."

Happy swung his right arm at Tig's head. He was quick, but Tig was quicker. He leant back, causing Happy to lose balance as his fist failed to make contact. The rest of the sons gathered round. Fights between these two were always entertaining. They were well matched, Happy was probably the quicker of the two, but Tig was stronger. He was also more likely to fight dirty. Happy quickly recovered his balance and lunged towards Tig, sending them both crashing across the floor. The crowd started to cheer and bets were laid. Fucking and fighting were the sons' favourite things. Lee, Lorca and Quinn leaned on the bar and watched Happy's latest battle. Lee scowled. "At this rate Hap's gonna run outta brothers to hit."

Quinn shook his head. "Nah, Reckon Tig might be the one to knock some sense into him. He fucking loves that girl, he wont rest until Happy shapes up, and acts like a proper old man."

By the time they were pulled apart they were too exhausted to stand upright, both were bleeding, Happy from the nose and a split lip and Tig from a cut above his eye. Tig also was pretty sure he had a couple of busted ribs and Hap was limping again. They both slumped against the bar, breathing heavily. "You gotta go see your girl, man."

Happy groaned. "I know." He shut his eyes and rested his forehead against the bar. "I thought I'd lost her. 'S my fault Tigger. That bullet was meant for me. She pushed me outta the way. It should have been me."

Tig shrugged. "She's gonna be okay Hap. Just go and see her for fuck's sake."

Nikki was sleeping when Happy limped into her room. Kozic looked up from his paper and grinning got to his feet. He gave his brother a one armed hug and watched as he sat down and touched her hand. Immediately, her eyes opened and she smiled. "Hey. Hap."

"Hey Shorty."

Her eyes closed again but this time the frown was gone and a small smile played across her lips.

Kozic turned and walked out of the hospital. He had some unfinished business to attend to.

* * *

Honey sat on the bed of the rundown motel and gnawed on her thumbnail. As soon as the sons had burst into the warehouse she had taken advantage of the ensuing chaos to make her escape through the trees. She needed to get out of Tacoma. Nikki had got shot. Happy was going to kill her. Her phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hey it's Koz. Where you at?"

"I can't tell you. You'll tell Happy. He'll kill me."

"I swear I wont tell Hap. Look Nikki's going to be fine. I said I'd help you didn't I?"

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"You don't. But I'm your best bet. If Hap finds you he will kill you."

"Okay. I'm at the sunshine motel, room 15."

"Good girl."

Maybe she should have been suspicious of the nondescript beige ford and the fact he was wearing a baseball cap that was pulled low over his face. But as she climbed into the passenger seat Honey still believed that maybe Kozic was still her best bet.

"Where we going?"

Kozic pulled the revolver out of his pocket and laid it on his lap. "Where you'll never be found."


	54. Chapter 54

I don't own sons of anarchy.

HOME

"Ow, ow. Please. Stop. It hurts when I laugh." Happy scowled. His girl had only been home for three days and was supposed to be resting. Her doctor had wanted her to stay in hospital for a while longer. But Nikki had other ideas, and when it became clear she was going to discharge herself, he gave in. As long as she areed to at least six weeks of no lifting or physical exertion, she could go home.

He marched to the bedroom, and pulled open the door, shaking his head at the sight before him.

There, sitting on the end of the bed with her was Tig and Dixie. Between them was a scrabble board. Happy's scowl deepened, he had known that with both Dixie and Tig staying, she wouldn't get any rest. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Nikki grinned. "Tig scrabble. We can only use rude words."

Dixie looked up. "We call it 'tiggle.' Want to play?"

Tig grinned and Nikki giggled, clutching her ribs. "Ow. Fuck. Who ever said laughter is the best medicine, had obviously never been shot in the chest."

Happy frowned. "Have you taken your meds?"

"I will later. They make me sleepy." She patted the bed. "Come and sit with us."

Rolling his eyes, he did as she asked. Sitting next to her he glanced down at the board. "Shit, could you three be any more immature? I don't think that's how you spell fallatio. And that." He pointed at the board. "Isn't even a word."

"Yes it is." Dixie pouted. "It's a tranny expresion."

Nikki laughed and groaned as the pain shot through her ribs.

"Right. That's it." Happy stood. "You two. Out. And you." He pointed his finger at her. "Take your meds."

Tig and Dixie did as they were told and Nikki held out her hand for her pills. "I am okay, you know."

"I know." He passed her the pills and a glass of water. "I just don't want those two idiots tiring you out." Sitting back down next to her, he fluffed her pillows then helped her as she leaned back with a wince.

She closed her eyes. "Will you stay with me till I fall asleep?"

He took her hand in his and kissed her on the temple. "Sure, baby girl. I'll stay as long as you want." He leaned back and stroked her hair until he was sure she was sleeping, then headed out to the yard, where Tig and Dixie were sharing a joint.

Tig moved along the bench, to give him some room, and passed him the joint. "We wont let her overdo it, you know."

"I know. It's just…"

"You're being all over protective and shit." Dixie giggled. "That is so sweet."

"Shut the fuck up, Dix. You weren't there. You didn't see her." He stood up and ran his hand over his head. "I thought I'd lost her. That she'd died, because of me." He turned and faced her, suddenly angry. "I promised to keep her safe and I let her down."

Dixie stood and touched his arm. "You didn't let her down. You killed those assholes who took her. You got her to the hospital on time."

"She wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for me."

"Now you listen to me. Nikki is going to be fine. I know that right now she's weak and in pain. But it will pass." She smiled. "That girl in there saved your life, and I'm pretty sure she'd do it again in an instant."

Tig leaned back against the wall and stretched is long legs out in front of him. "Dixie's right Hap. You gotta stop beating yourself up over this. And you gotta resist the urge to wrap her in cotton wool. Me an' Dix love your girl. We'll take good care of her. You just gotta trust us."

Happy sat back down and put his head in his hands. "I just can't shake the feeling she'd be better off with someone else." He gave a short, humourless laugh. "I'm being a complete pussy aint I?"

They both laughed. "Yeah."

* * *

Nikki shuffled into the kitchen in search of something to eat. She had been home for just over a week and was starting to feel a lot better.

Tig had gone back to Charming a few days ago and Dixie had flown home the previous morning. Suddenly the apartment seemed too quiet and empty. She had insisted that Happy went back to work. They needed the money, and if she was honest she was feeling a little stifled. She was also getting worried about him. It was nothing she could put her finger on, he just seemed a little off and every so often she would catch him looking at her with an unreadable expression. Happy was the master of the unreadable expression, but this was different. She had tried talking to him, but he just told her he was fine.

"Tell me you weren't about to fill that kettle full of water."

Shit! Busted. "Hap! No. I was only putting a little bit in." She turned. "Quinn!" As throwing her arms round him was out of the question, she settled for giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I wasn't expecting you."

Quinn kissed her forehead. "I'm gonna be in town for a week, thought I could crash on your sofa."

"Haap, I don't need a babysitter."

"Yes you do. Suck it up, Shorty."

Nikki sighed. "Fine. I'm going to bed." She didn't know why she was so pissed. She liked Quinn and he was certainly a better cook than Happy, but she was starting to go stir crazy and Happy was smothering her.

Quinn watched as she disappeared to her room and patted Happy on the shoulder. Go back to work, man. I got this. He followed her into her room. "You okay sweetheart?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry Quinn. I'm just having trouble adjusting."

"Happy's getting a bit much. Huh?"

She nodded. "I keep feeling like I'm missing something, Quinn."

He sat on the bed and pulled her gently down next to him. "He thought he was going to lose you." He took her hand. "I've never seen him scared before. I think he just needs a while to process what happened and to forgive himself."

"Forgive himself? What for?"

"He blames himself." He squeezed her hand. "Would you like me to talk to him? Get him to back off a bit?"

Nikki nodded. Happy would listen to Quinn. She stifled a yawn and he grinned. "Get back into bed. I'll bring you something to eat in a bit."

She laid back on her pillows and closed her eyes. Every thing was so exhausting at the moment. "I really am pleased you're here Quinn."

* * *

It was over a month before she felt like her old self again. She was finally given the all clear from the hospital and drove home with a huge grin on her face. She had hated not being able to work and hated having other people take care of her. But most of all she hated not being able to fuck Happy. She had told him time and time again that it would be fine, but he was having none of it. She had even resorted to accusing him of having an affair, in the hope that it would goad him into giving in, without success. He was terrified he would hurt her and told her he wanted to wait until they were sure it was safe.

As soon as she got home she filled a bath and sorted out her sexiest underwear. Briefly she wondered if he was repulsed by the, still, ugly and raised scar, but quickly dismissed the idea. If it were anyone else she would believe it, but not Happy. He hated that she'd got hurt and hated to see the reminder of what happened. But repulsed. Never.

"Nik?"

"In here."

Happy walked into the bedroom and grinned at the sight of his old lady, dressed in white lace panties, matching camisole and stockings, laying on the bed with a shit eating grin on her face.

"Doc say we're good to go?"

She nodded and held out her hand. "Get over here, Lowman."

He had tried to be gentle. He really had. But his old lady was having none of it. "I aint gonna break, Hap."

"I know baby. But you can get hurt."

She touched his face. "I love you and I trust you. If you hurt me, I'll let you know. Now please, Hap, I'm not afraid of a little pain. Get over here and fuck me."

Later as they lay, side by side trying to catch their breath. Happy turned to face her. "Road trip?"

She grinned. "Where?"

"Charming. Need to go house hunting."


	55. Chapter 55

I don't own sons of anarchy

HOUSE HUNTING

Nothing illustrated their differences more than house hunting. It was one of the few areas in their lives where they were poles apart. Happy felt his hands ball into a fist as his old lady refused to even look at the condo he suggested. This was a classic case of head verses heart. Nikki believed that she would know when she found 'the one.' Happy thought that the idea of falling in love with bricks and mortar was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard.

Nikki sighed. This was their second trip to Charming in a month. Happy would be patching in to the charter and the end of the week, and they still had nowhere to live. Her mom had just sold her house and, much to her sibling's disgust, had given them enough money to put down as a deposit on a place. Happy of course had gone all 'macho' on her - they didn't need any help - until she had sat him down and, explained that, yes they did need help, and if he loved her he would accept it.

It should have been easy, Charming was small, with limited available properties, but even with Gemma's help, they were no nearer finding their dream home.

"I'm going outside, I need some fresh air." Nikki wandered out into the California sunshine. She could feel another argument coming on and she really didn't have the energy. After every thing they had been through, this should have been a walk in the park. Stubborn fucking asshole, she didn't ask for much. A little house with a small plot of land. Yes she knew that funds were limited, and they could probably only afford something in need of work. Happy, however thought that it made more sense to get a studio that was cheaper and ready to move into.

Her feet led her to Gemma's office. Slumping on the chair in the corner she closed her eyes and ran her hand across her brow. "Am I being unreasonable, Gem?"

"Of course not, sweetheart. That mean faced bastard is being cheap as usual."

Immediately, almost instinctively, Nikki jumped in to defend her man. "He's not cheap. Gem."

Gemma smirked. "Whatever you say, sweetheart."

Nikki frowned. Happy wasn't cheap. "I know that what he wants makes sense."

"But?"

"I want a house, Gem. A proper house with a yard."

"Somewhere to start a family?"

"No absolutely not. It's just that this is where I want to lay down roots. I want a home for Hap and me to grow old in."

"I take it you've tried to explain this to him."

"Yeah, he just looked at me."

Gemma nodded. Happy wouldn't care where they grew old together. "I wouldn't worry, Sweetheart, Hap'll let you have your way."

"This isn't just about me getting my own way. I want him to want it too." Nikki looked down at her hands. "I want to have a home he wants to come back to."

Gemma stood and pulling Nikki to her feet, kissed her on the cheek. "You're still scared of losing him." She pulled her into a hug. "Oh baby girl. He'd want to come home to a cardboard box if you were in it."

"You think I'm being irrational?"

"No. I think you're looking for a little piece of normality. Nothing irrational about that."

Gemma was right. Nikki gazed out of the window to where Tig and Jax were trying to shrink wrap juice's bike. "I love my life, Gem. Obviously not the getting kidnapped and shot bits. But this. The guys, you, Happy. I love it, love you. It's just sometimes, when it's just me and Hap. It's nice to pretend that we're a regular couple, that it's not going to be snatched away at any moment." She smiled. "You think I'm being stupid, don't you?"

"No, sweetheart, I don't. This life can be crazy. You have to learn to appreciate the good days, because we both know, that the good days are very good indeed." She grinned. "If creating a home for you and Happy helps you cope with the rough times, than that's what you will have."

"You gonna wave your magic wand, fairy godmother?"

"Cheeky bitch. Now go and talk to your man."

Happy looked up as she walked into the clubhouse. He smiled and held out his arm. "Wanna take a ride?"

Nikki grinned and leaned against him. "Why not."

As they rode out of town, Happy wondered if there was anything that couldn't be solved by a couple of hours on his Harley and a good fuck. Nothing else really mattered. They'd find the right place eventually, it wouldn't be the end of the world if they had to stay in the clubhouse for a little longer than they planned. Truthfully he didn't care where they lived. As long as they were together he was happy.

The sun was low in the sky as they headed back to Charming. Instead of going straight to TM happy turned down an old track and parked near a derelict shack. Nikki climbed off the bike with a frown. "Hap?"

Happy grinned and led her through the trees to a small rocky outcrop. Nikki gave a gasp. The hill they were on wasn't big, she hadn't even been aware they were climbing, but from their position, they could see all of Charming.

"Wow how did you find this place."

He shrugged. It would probably be prudent not to tell her that he'd stumbled across this when he'd been looking for a suitable place to dispose of a body. "Dunno, just came across it one day. I come here sometimes when I need some space."

"I can see why. So why have you brought me here?"

He grinned.

"Oh. Okay."

The next morning, they were up bright and early. The realtor had another house for them to look at. Nikki was starting to feel a little guilty. The poor woman was doing her best. It was just that her and Happy couldn't agree on what they wanted, and neither was prepared to give in. In the last house they'd actually gone toe to toe right in front of her. Nikki chuckled. She'd looked absolutely terrified. She was a tryer though, they had to give her that. And this time she was convinced she'd found something that would please them both. It was a little more than they wanted to pay, but not by much. The location was good, it had a garden and it was in good condition.

As she paced up and down waiting nervously for them to arrive, Kate Brown, realtor extraordinaire chewed on her thumbnail. As much as she wanted her commission, there was a tiny part of her that wished they'd decide to stay in Tacoma. Mrs Lowman was okay, she guessed. But him. He was the most terrifying man she had ever met. She squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. This time they had to agree. It was perfect.

They dismounted and stared at the house in front of them. It looked like a child's drawing, right down to the perfect manicured lawn and white picket fence. It even had roses round the door. Happy put his arm round her shoulder and kissed her deeply. "Well Shorty, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Nikki grinned. "Yep. Absolutely, fucking not!"

Laughing, they turned and climbed back on his Dyna and roared away leaving Ms Brown standing in a cloud of dust. Leaning on the garden gate she watched them disappear round the bend, a single tear rolling down her cheek. Damn those bikers. Maybe she could get a job at Walmart.


	56. Chapter 56

I don't own sons of anarchy

Ok folks, this is the final chapter. If I keep on writing any more I'm going to get bored and end up killing someone and I really don't want to do that. Thank you all so much for your kind words and support. It's been a blast.

Much love O xxx

WHAT YOU WISH FOR

Today was Nikki's birthday, she was thirty seven years old. Not a particularly significant one, but as she looked around at her family, it was definitely one of the best.

There were times, like today, when Happy would remind her just how much he cared. It wasn't always easy, being his old lady, something she was more than aware of after nearly six years together. Often, she thought that most people went through life shrouded in fog. Sure it shielded them from the horrors that were out there, but they never got to see the sun. Nikki grinned. Today the sun was shining so bright it blinded her.

As a rule Nikki wasn't much of a party animal, but this was perfect. No hangarounds, no whores. Just family.

It had been inspired by a conversation she'd all but forgotten a few months ago. They'd been talking about their childhoods and she'd just mentioned in passing that she'd never had a proper birthday party. In typical Happy manner, he'd stored that information for later use. As a result she found herself gazing at a proper kid's party, MC style.

It had everything a kid's party should have, balloons, jelly, ice cream. They even had party games.

Of course, because this was the sons, the jelly and juice drinks were made with vodka and the cakes and cookies were laced with hash.

Nikki couldn't remember when she was so moved. She stood in the doorway, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Oh Happy, thank you so much, this is perfect."

Happy shrugged. "You should thank Gemma, Bobby and Luanne. They did all the work."

As far as the guys were concerned, a party was a party. They had been sceptical in the beginning but were happy to go with the flow. Tig had pointed out that it wasn't a party without croweaters, however as it was for his best friend, he was prepared to make the sacrifice. Piney was his usual grumpy self, there was no way he was wearing a stupid hat and playing stupid kids games. But every party has at least one kid that wont join in.

Tig sulked when Kozic won pass the parcel-he didn't see why the blond douche should be there anyway. Musical chairs had degenerated into a full blown battle and Jax would definitely be sporting a black eye in the morning. They had to abandon musical statues as they were all too shitfaced, at that point, to stand still. The reaper pinata was a work of art, and Nikki thought it was a shame to smash it. However as it was full of miniature bottles of tequila and Jack, the guys thought differently. And the image of a drunken, blindfolded Bobby staggering across the lot, waving a stick around was something that would stay with her for a long time. Happy though, thought that they were taking too long to smash it and used his glock. Amazingly, some of the bottles survived.

As this was a proper birthday party, Gemma insisted that everyone should buy her a present. They didn't need to spend much, but they did need to think about what they were getting. Chibs bought her a pair of boxing gloves, much to Happy's disgust, as far as he was concerned, chicks did not belong in the ring. Juice had bought her a copy of computing for dummies in the vague hope that she'd stop calling him because her task bar had disappeared. Gemma, Clay and Bobby had paid for her to spend a weekend at a cookery school in Oakland. Something that caused great hilarity. Nikki's cooking skills were, by now, legendary. Of course Piney thought it was a stupid idea, she wasn't a kid. Nikki had laughed and kissed him. The fact that he had shown up was good enough. The lingerie that Luanne bought her was more of a present for Hap than for her, judging by the smile on his face when she opened them. Jax and Wendy had bought her a silk scarf with a reaper motif. She grinned. Jax was always teasing her about having hickies. She looked up to where Tig was hanging back. "Thank you so much guys." She kissed them all in turn. "I'm going to get some fresh air, I'll be back in a bit."

Tig was sitting on a picnic bench smoking a cigarette. "Hey, doll. Enjoying your party?"

She nodded and sat next to him. For a while neither spoke, then Tig reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. "These." He explained opening it. "Are worry dolls. You tell them what is troubling you, put them under your pillow and they keep the bad dreams at bay. Just in case I aint around to call."

Nikki laid the tiny dolls in her hand. "Thankyou. I thought dolls crept you out."

"They do, but these little fuckers are less than an inch long. Reckon I can handle them."

She rested her head on his shoulder and he patted her hand. "It wont be like before, doll."

"I'm okay Tig. Please can we not talk about this. Not today."

He nodded and they both looked up at the sound of a Harley pulling onto the lot.

"Quinn!"

Nikki ran towards him and he swept her up into his arms and spun her round. "Hey sweetheart. Happy birthday." With his arm around her shoulders he led her back into the clubhouse. "Enjoying your party?"

She pointed to Piney, slumped on the couch, fast asleep with a tiny red bowler hat perched on his head. "What do you think?"

Quinn grinned and kissed her on the cheek. "I Gotta talk to Clay. Catch ya later." He wandered off leaving her alone for a moment.

"You okay?" Gemma kissed her and pushed a stray hair away from her face.

"Yeah. Thanks for this, Gem."

"Was your old man's idea. I think he wanted to do something nice for you before…"

"Not now, Gem. I just want to enjoy today." She smiled. "Think I'll mingle."

She wandered off towards Chibs and Jax and they talked for a while about jax's best friend Opie, who was due for release soon. Jax explaining how when he took the gavel, Opie would be his VP.

She looked across the room to where Juice and Kip were sitting with Miles, who would likely be the next prospect and her eyes fell on Happy who was talking to Lorca and Kozic. Probably, about his patching temporarily back in Tacoma until Lee, Bones and Spider got out of the joint. She sighed. She didn't want to think about that.

Kozic looked up with a smile and a sudden feeling of dread washed over her. She started as a hand touched her shoulder. "You okay? You look like you've seen a ghost." She turned to Luanne and smiled. "Yeah."

Luanne squeezed her shoulder. "It's just for a couple of months, sweetie. It's a two hour flight from Oakland, you can see him whenever you want."

"I know. It's okay, really. I've got you guys."

She turned as Gemma came out and placed a huge cake on the bar. "Come on sweetheart. You need to blow out the candles and make a wish."

"So, Shorty. What did you wish for?"

They were laying in bed, her head resting on his chest. The party was still going strong, but they had decided it was time to go home.

Nikki loved her house. Happy had found the owner of the plot of land with the old shack on it and made an offer. It was perfect, all the utilities were in place and Clay pulled some strings and they got permission to build there in double quick time. It was small, little more than a log cabin, but it was homely and it had great views from the little garden. Inside, the walls were covered with her artwork. She never did get to art school but had taken evening classes instead.

She raised herself onto her forearms and kissed him softly. "Now you know I can't tell you what I wished for."

Deepening the kiss, Happy rolled her over and positioned himself between her legs. "I'm well known for my powers of persuasion."

Nikki grinned. "Do your worst. You'll never make me talk."

As she laid listening to him snore she turned to the bedside table and opened the small box. "I'm scared." She whispered. "For all of them." She tucked the dolls under her pillow and snuggled against Happy's chest.

Happy half opened his eyes but said nothing, instead he pulled her into his arms and stroked her hair until he was sure she was asleep. She didn't need to tell him what she wished for.

"One day little girl." He whispered. "Your wishes will come true."

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Well that's it folks. I wanted to wrap this up before season one. But I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with the end. Let me know.

Thanks again for the reviews.


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